I've been described as "adrift". Oh yeah, well guess who else is adrift? Plankton. And they don't have anything to worry about except absorbing sunlight and being eaten by whales. And then in plankton heaven, they're all like, "Yeah, I got eaten by a whale. No big." And their plankton bros all high five them because getting eaten by a whale is metal as fuck.
"Being drunk all the time isn't easy; if it were easy, everyone would be doing it."
As Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can tell a lot about a person from their Chrome homepage. Now pass me that fatty." My most visited sites are:
• Rock Paper Shotgun
• Something Awful
How I filled out my profile
A typical date with me
Programmer, nerd, cat enthusiast, part-time Michael Fassbender body double, and all-around lazy person.
"Guys, online dating is a perfectly acceptable way for those whom society has shunned to get together and, ideally, colonize another planet."
"I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar."