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23 Melbourne, Australia Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–55
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, casual sex

My details

Last online
Jun 16, 2014
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Working on university
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, German (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Morgan Freeman. Great now you're reading this in his voice. Continue.

Jacob Haber knows you're reading this. Jacob Haber is also an Australian man of Uni level. He's supposedly studying at Monash in Melbourne, but that's only a rumor. He may or may not be living in between California and Melbourne. He'd like you to message him, he's more of a licker than a biter. He thinks you're a solid combination of adorable and interesting. He dares you to prove him wrong.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a uni student living paycheck to paycheck. Does it suck? The paycheck part does. The uni part is rather rad though. I work online as a virtual assistant which is pretty fucking neat as well.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- Swearing
- Breathing
- Skinny Dipping
- Not being able to draw straight lines
- Oxford commas
- I take a decent photo
- Talking to you (yes, you, miss looking at my profile but not messaging me, tsk tsk)
- Being born in November
- Checking my email
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The splash of blonde in my hair. Admit it: you don't even know what color my eyes are. No, I'll wait, you can go check my pictures again.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Marquez.
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
The Magicians by Lev Grossman
Malcolm Gladwell's works
And others!

Movies: Talk to me. I don't want to destroy this page with this list. But, it's safe to say that I'm a Kubrick fan-girl. Don't get me started. Quick list of movies on my desk: District 9, Ali, The Wackness, Silence of the Lambs, There Will be Blood, Zodiac, The Road, iRobot, Harry Potter #4, No Country for Old Men, Eyes Wide Shut, Capote. In no way representative of my favorite movies or anything of that. Just some movies I like.

Shows: Arrested Development, Futurama, Community, The Office, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad.

Music: Let's talk about this. I'll take you on. Bring it.

Food: It goes in my stomach and tastes amazing. Also, I cook it, a lot.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
What an odd question.

1. My arms
2. My legs
3. My head (and accompany organs)
4. My schlong
5. Everything else that is my body and mind
6. Sight and sound. Being blind or deaf would ruin me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Ask me in the moment.

Also: What does that person look like naked?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
- Reading
- Watching a movie
- Drinking a beer
- Probably by myself
- Still human and still Jacob
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't talk to my parents anymore. Moved out at 16.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have blood in your veins.
You thought any my jokes weren't funny.
You thought any of my jokes were funny.
You think I'm ugly.
You think I'm slightly-above-ugly.
You think.
You actually did me the honour of reading this far.