Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

Hairlessmammal

31 Portland, ME Man

Man

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
May 24
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body type
Average
Diet
Smokes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Status
Married
Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Latin (Poorly), Russian (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Whoa. Married.

I dig things. All of them. Or at least, most of them. They are cool. I like learning about them.

I like bread. A lot. And potatoes. Potato Bread being just about manna from fucking above.

Man.

Y, a la recomendación de OKCupid:

Me gustan cosas. Todas. O a lo menos, la mayor de todas. Son cheveres. Me gusta aprender de las.

Me gusta pan. Mucho. Y las papas. Pan de papa es casí maná llovido del puto cielo.

Che.

I am seeking, sasquatch, and nessie
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've got me a fancy B.F.A. in Film from the Rochester Institute of Technology. I minored in Spanish. I'm teaching myself guitar and trying to pave a road of art for my future. Maybe I'll write stuff.

I'm now a producer at WCSH 6. I produce the 6 & 11 PM broadcasts on weekends and do web work - or fill in producing - Monday through Wednesday.

My dog is pretty awesome. I like spending time with him.

I've been working on stand-up comedy. It's harder than I anticipated. Here is a dick joke: My dick is so big it has tectonic plates, a layer of flowing magma and an iron core. This means it also has a magnetic field.

I am trying my hand at poetry as well. I enjoy writing and thinking and trying to make Meaningful Thoughts, you know? Here is a poem:

Broken shovel
Snapped blade
Lies collecting snow

Wooden shaft
Fresh stained
Iron rusted years ago

And... uh... bars?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I think I'm pretty good at writing. I'm good at listening to music. And watching movies. And skiing, I'm pretty good at skiing. Swimming.
Tweeting: @KristerR
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall. Blue eyes. I'm funny. Ever changing facial hair.

You might notice that I'm "less mathematical" than most of these fine chaps ------------->

I won't argue. Math bugs me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A. Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut. SH-5 could be my bible. Where the Wild Things Are. Elmore Leonard. Snow Crash. Sin City. Heinlein. Hunter S. Thompson. Stephen King. William Burroughs. Lynd Ward. Tolkein. Samurai Cat. Moore. Hellboy.

I recognize that Charles Bukowski had Things To Say that he effected with some muscular chops but I have a Serious Problem with the worship of him. And Brett Easton Ellis.

B. The Coen Brothers. Terry Gilliam. Spike Jonze. Peter Jackson. Sam Raimi. Jim Jarmusch. Charlie Kaufman. Michel Gondry. Quentin Tarantino. Luc Besson. Tim Burton. Jeunet et Caro. The Alien Movies. Stanley Kubrik. Mean Girls. Pixar. Robert Rodriguez. Shaun of the Dead. Joss Whedon. Guillermo del Toro.

C. The Black Keys. Tom Waits. The Beatles. Mike Patton. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Queens of the Stone Age. Bob Dylan. Beck. The White Stripes. The Underacheivers. Gorillaz. Killer Mike. Kanye West. Junior Kimbrough. R.L. Burnside. Sufjan Stevens. Wilco. Wye Oak. Sharon Van Etten. Lady Lamb the Beekeeper. Dana Gross. Samuel James. Wesley Hartley. John Prine. Townes Van Zant

D. Just give me the food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
People. Music. Books. Brains. Dogs. Food.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life and love and all that bullshit. It is, but I think about it anyway.

But perhaps more importantly, will I survive the impending zombie apocalypse? Anyone else have fantasy situations worked out for this? Mine involves me, a motorcycle, my guitar and the desert.

Also, why do I like bread so much?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Pining, positively pining, for Wegmans. But going to bars, hosting parties (Beach Themed, Big Lebowski Themed), learning to cook and going to see live music have served pretty well in taking my mind off the best grocery store in the univizzle.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think my dog has life more figured out than I do.

And sometimes I worry that my atoms are going to shake right through the bed and I'll be left with no body and no means of telling anyone about the crazy thing that just happened to me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You rock the socks like it's nobody's business. I'm talking serious sock-rockage.

You dig it the most, baby.

And/or you can teach me some sweet banjo techniques.