My prison social worker, whose idea this online dating thing is,
warned me about over-sharing, so I'll try to stick to the
essentials. I have a daughter who is the single most important
woman in my life. Lately, though, she's been copping MAJOR
attitude. I'd love to find someone to replace her as my number one.
Don't get me wrong, I'll always love her, and I don't intend to
disown her or anything like that, but she could certainly use to be
taken down a notch or two. I'm not so sure she'll grow out of this
when she turns 5.
I own a home, but not a dishwasher. I do all the dishes by hand, and I never leave dirty dishes in the sink. I don't mind washing dishes, and, should our relationship ever progress to living together, I would wash your dishes too. You will feel guilty and wash your own dishes, but eventually, the guilt will pass and you'll allow me to wash all the dishes. I'll come home from a three day trip to find several dirty dishes in the sink, which I will clean with mild contempt and detergent. The contempt will germinate and take root, fertilized by all your faults that I never really noticed before. We'll fight about some petty thing that seems so important, and you'll storm out the door. I yell to you not to slam the door, but you slam it anyway. You're not even down the steps and already, I feel sad and foolish. We talk and work things out, but only to the point that we can remain friends. You move out and we both restore our OkCupid accounts, updating our pictures, of course.
My turn-ons include profile pictures taken in a mirror, but only if I can see your camera phone in the shot. I am intrigued by the feature on this site that shows what percentage exists that you will be my enemy. To date, I have found someone who is 71% my enemy. If I can find someone who is 80% or more, that is someone I'll want to meet (don't worry TWILIGHTLVR169, I still have my eye on you).
Don't be shy, if all of this sounds good to you, and you're comfortable with the phrase, "You're not my real mom," drop me a line.
I own a home, but not a dishwasher. I do all the dishes by hand, and I never leave dirty dishes in the sink. I don't mind washing dishes, and, should our relationship ever progress to living together, I would wash your dishes too. You will feel guilty and wash your own dishes, but eventually, the guilt will pass and you'll allow me to wash all the dishes. I'll come home from a three day trip to find several dirty dishes in the sink, which I will clean with mild contempt and detergent. The contempt will germinate and take root, fertilized by all your faults that I never really noticed before. We'll fight about some petty thing that seems so important, and you'll storm out the door. I yell to you not to slam the door, but you slam it anyway. You're not even down the steps and already, I feel sad and foolish. We talk and work things out, but only to the point that we can remain friends. You move out and we both restore our OkCupid accounts, updating our pictures, of course.
My turn-ons include profile pictures taken in a mirror, but only if I can see your camera phone in the shot. I am intrigued by the feature on this site that shows what percentage exists that you will be my enemy. To date, I have found someone who is 71% my enemy. If I can find someone who is 80% or more, that is someone I'll want to meet (don't worry TWILIGHTLVR169, I still have my eye on you).
Don't be shy, if all of this sounds good to you, and you're comfortable with the phrase, "You're not my real mom," drop me a line.
