Hey, my name is Bob. Well actually my name isn't Bob but I like to be called Bob, so I'd appreciate it if you call me Bob. You see I'm obsessed with palindromes. Actually that isn't true either. The real truth is I wanted to write a few sentences without telling you anything about myself, so I guess I've done that at this point. Of course I've probably told you more than I should have. I guess I'll have to kill you then. I'm just joking of course. I have people that do that sort of thing for me.

Update:
Ok, I'm pretty much done with this site. I'm keeping these names up because I worked hard to create some 30+ tests. You can e-mail me, but don't count on me to respond. Nothing personal. Try my real e-mail address at db l11 8@yaho o.com if you have something really important to say. I'll leave the rest of my profile up for future generations to analyze.

being humble. I'm the best but I'll never tell anybody except you.

"You are the author of the 'Proper Urinal Etiquette Test'? I was expecting (giggles)... well more."

Give me a vanilla creme filled donut and I can spend 2 hours nibbling on it. Give me a vanilla creme scented woman and I can spend 2 minutes nibbling on her (don't jump to conclusions, I could go longer, just scared my girlfriend would catch me)

breathing. Most people do it naturally, but my brain is very stupid. I have to remind it every second to take another breath. I'm worried I might forget. Then with less oxygen in my brain I'll be even more likely to miss the next breath. Most people have great plans for their lives, but I'm just taking things one breath at a time. I'm not trying to be cute or poetic or anything, it's true.

On Sunday mornings I watch Thomas the Tank Engine on PBS. I yell at the engines on the T.V. show. I make sarcastic comments to the engines and mock them for their ignorance. I yell Toby whenever they play the connect the dots which engine is it game even though it never seems to be Toby (it's always the b*tch engine Emily or punk a** Percy. I even sing the theme song at the end. When it's over I switch over to the Chris Matthews Show but part of my heart continues to belong to that enchanting island of Sodor.

I'll also admit that I have 5 active screen names on here. I'm not a weirdo, I just like creating tests and there used to be a limit for how many you could create. My "real" profile is at zeppoloveskafka.

1. You want to join my fan club.

2. My fly is down.

or

3. You know how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. That could help you with #1 actually and has nothing to do with #2 sickos.