Straight-up. You’re an honest, good-thinking guy, you have a sterling reputation.
You’re a careful person, perhaps too much so for your friends’ tastes, but girls like that in you. You probably don’t kiss & tell. You know you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
You will settle down eventually, and make an excellent husband. You seem like the type who is into the idea of making copies of yourself, so you’ll probably have kids. Bear in mind, meanwhile, this can get expensive.
ALTERNATE ENDING: You will die broke and alone. Vermin will feast on your ragged body for five days before the groundskeeper notices. The thing is, when somebody dies in a public restroom, the natural odour of his decomposing flesh is often masked by the feces smell.