100% grade-A American Booger. Shit, I don't know...this is a lot of pressure...I like to swear and drink and smoke. I'm liberal and left-handed. Obsessed with music that I will force you to listen to if I hang out with you. I've got good hair. I read more often than I have conversations. I don't like talking on the phone. I do like art, design, clothes, old station wagons, thrift stores, weird museums, spellcheck, the banjo, vintage books, clever turns of phrase, and logic.

I'm a graphic designer. (www.chipped-nails.com) I used to have a really cute blurb on here about how adorably unemployed I was, but what do you know, I got hired and now I have absolutely nothing precious to say. Hot dang.

In the "My details" section, under "Income", I really wish I could put "minuature", but they don't have an option for that.

Nothing! Oh no, how sad! No, but really, I'm awesome at underselling myself.

Oh most likely my pure, radiating joy. My ability to crack a smile so wide homeless orphans can find good homes inside. My ability to distract you with my charm and wit, and then, my ability to grab your juice box and run.

Guess!...actually, I get upped a percent if I get to 500 words, so let me list the bands I listened to today. Ok, here goes: Tune-yards, Thao and Mirah, The Head and the Heart, Motopony, Babeshadow, A B & The Sea, King Charles, Miniature Tigers, Kopecky Family Band. And more bands from another day: Kurt Vile, War on Drugs, The Do, Ty Segall, Dirty Gold, Ducktails, Pink Mountaintops, Sweaters, Winter Gloves. Ok, now a couple more favorites: Deerhunter, Of Montreal, The Strange Boys, Sonny and the Sunsets, Harlem, the Kinks, the Kills, Animal Collective, Devendra Banhart, Andrew Bird, The Veils, Fleet Foxes, Belle & Sebastian, New Pornographers, Yeasayer, Dirty Projectors, A.A. Bondy, Tallest Man on Earth, O'Death, X, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, The Saints, THE KINKS,etc.

I want to make a test tube baby with Wes Anderson. I love every film he's made, and I don't care what anyone else thinks about that. Also love Heathers, Evil Dead II, Reality Bites, Rocket Science, Scott Pilgrim, Raising Arizona (!), Welcome to the Dollhouse, Requiem for a Dream (bummer)...gosh, what else is a cliche movie college kids like? Oh, Boondock Saints.

Music, cigarettes, the public library, ice coffee....umm, food and shelter?

I spend quite a bit of energy attempting to conjure up similarities between myself and Charles Bukowski. And also Ron from Parks and Recreation. For a girl, I have weird heroes.

I also like to come up with good arguments against vegetarianism...and creationism...and various other isms.

Wearing a cape, standing on top of tall buildings, watching over the crime ridden city I've sworn to protect.

I find the whole getting-ready-for-bed hygiene routine (washing face, brushing teeth, flossing, blah) so intensely boring that I bring my laptop into the bathroom and watch something (usually British) on Netflix while I'm doing that. This is not the most private thing I'm willing to admit. It's just that I think I'm kind of a genius for doing this and want to share the love with others, in any way I can.

Also, I have not for years and still do not know how to properly dispose of dead batteries. I could take the 3 minutes to look it up on Google right now instead of writing this, and yet.....What I do, instead, is store them in really odd places until they mysteriously disappear into the ether. I don't know, somewhere near the other sock, just left of your 7th grade retainer.

Sad adults in conical party hats make you laugh.

I've gotten quite a few messages addressing this, many with pictures attached. So I just wanted to add, if you find one with the sad adult outright weeping and doing something I like to call "kidney bean face" wherein the mouth involuntarily forms a sort of kidney bean shape, please send that along. I will think of some kind of prize to give you, you brave and clever soul.