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46 Albuquerque, NM Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 35-56
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 3:01am
Straight, Sapiosexual
Hispanic / Latin
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and it’s important
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), French (Somewhat), Catalan (Somewhat), Italian
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm here looking for more fantastic friends and angels. I am happy to have befriended kindred souls on here who I am proud to count among my friends and partners.

I'm a teacher/imparter of dubiously useful information about contemporary post 1789 Europe based in Albuquerque, NM.

I'm newly 46, I am Hispanic, single (although I imagine many of us have our important, meaningful, and responsible--non-monogamous, physical friendships), straight, professional, worldly, witty, articulate, well-educated, intelligent, confident, independent, fun, safe, tested regularly and negative, childless, sterile by vasectomy, yada yada yada. I don't smoke. I enjoy social drinking, bathe at least once a day, brush my teeth at least twice a day, and find myself in the gym (less and less, alas, to play racquetball) about five days a week... or I'm out running or bicycling in the warm elevated desert sun.

I frankly don't know what other labels I can or should apply to myself at this point because while I intellectually don't see much logic nor do I understand society's insistence on monogamy I am not sure that polyamory or some sort of responsible, open, and consensual non-monogamous relationship is the be all end all either. Still I am not inclined to stomach people believing in and harping on the argument that even though we are statistically doomed to fail as married or serial monogamist couples when we're in those situations, we need to be serial monogamists and cannot grow any other relationships, especially friendships that may include a sexual component with other friends, and that for the length of the relationship we are owned (or rented) as are our genitals. Sadly on this particular front, I have feel cursed at primary partnerships and blessed with secondary relationships that last for years and years.

Though I straddle the line between a quiet confidence and insecure self-deprecation, I am happy that I strike a chord with so many fascinating people. Still, I never know when a woman is interested in me until she surprises me and starts playing tonsil-hockey with me.

Hmmm... and I speak fluent Spanish, struggle through low-intermediate French, and know a few cuss words in Catalan.

I am multi-faceted, uncategorizable, and ADHD-rrific...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Though a trip to Madrid did not workout for this summer, I promised myself I'm going back to Spain next summer. It's always fun but I'm getting rather tired of heading there alone all the time. Come with!

In the meantime I'm reading, supposedly writing, and learning how to herd cats for a new position at work. While in Kansas City earlier this summer, I revisited the importance and fun of working hard but playing harder, and would be happy to have more friends for such adventures.

In a matter of a few months this year (2015) I have managed to have my heart broken twice by a couple of Leos so I'm sort of licking my wounds and not likely ready for anything but a friendship.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening and being generous. My personality type is ESFJ, I'm a "2--the Helper" enneagram, and if you read about them you'll have a great sense of me. I'm also pretty good at being a Taurus Sun with Gemini Rising (Moon in Aquarius, and an Earth Rooster.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I haven't run a survey so how exactly can I say? I'm rather vain about my hazel eyes so in my mind that's what would capture your attention.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I had been working through the Game of Thrones series, both the novels on my Kindle and the TV shows, in order to explicate the disjointed blood and sex and bloody sex scenes I have seen when in a hotel that gets HBO. But the sense that the shows are being of significantly from the novels add wellas lack of time for fiction reading disincentivized trudging through the books. I have enjoyed reading Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas but haven't a partner for the non self-gratification exercises, which doesn't really appeal. I started D.H. Lawrence's Rainbow because a friend lists it as her one of her favorites, but I might just have to get back to it at some later day. I am a big Tom Robbins fan though I much prefer the earlier materials (Jitterbug Perfume) to the recent (Villa Incognito). Again, I don't get a chance to read much fiction sadly. I have been inspired by self help stuff by Eckhard Tolle like the Power of Now, Susan Campbell's Getting Real, and John Armstrong's Conditions of Love, and I have been moved to agree with the writing of and maybe develop a crush on Laura Kipness.

I have a ridiculously eclectic music collection on my iPod from Lyle Lovett to Cold Play, from Astor Piazzolla to Depeche Mode, from Radiohead to Philip Glass. I have been known to rock out to a lot of punk rock Social Distortion, Offspring, Flogging Molly, and/or Me First and the Gimme Gimmies when I hit the gym. I had a blast at a recent Offspring concert at KCLive and am likely headed to see The Foo Fighters Asfor food, I am pretty much omnivorous though not a huge fan of seafood and shellfish. I truly love to cook, and crave opportunities to do so for friends who are potential lovers/partners. Allegedly Lucinda Williams had herself a great show in Madrid while I was last there recently, and it's too bad I missed it. I love her music, but when I saw her in Santa Fe, NM a couple of years back, perhaps when she was in depression phase, she had the charisma of a cold cod.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Catharsis, Sport, Music, Books, Friends, Love.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If it's true those of us not from New Mexico who wind up in New Mexico are somehow here to be metaphorically or metaphysically tested like gold is tested in fire, I have this state on my mind and what has drawn me here. Even though I don't have family (of blood) there, I'm actually glad to have had to endure what I've endured in the last ten years in New Mexico.

I've also been mulling how many (NOT ALL) of my beliefs parallel this woman's:
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Actually not doing much of anything; we should go out!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My biggest lie is: No I didn't pee in the confessional.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.

If OKC thinks we are an 80% or better match that suggests (from past experiences) we will get along swimmingly. Well I imagine that the "hot but vacuous" will eventually bore me. So read this:

I'd like to meet an intelligent to brilliant conversationalist who is confident, sexy, witty, and happy... Someone who is looking for a confident friend (and maybe a primary partner/lover) with whom she can be free to be herself and allow me to be the same. Someone who understands that though I am content with a lot about my life, I am insatiable when it comes to surrounding myself with thoughtful, challenging, beautiful, and interesting friends.

Someone who sings out loud while driving in her car; loves flannel sheets because they allow you to sleep in the buff with a lover in the winter; is a cat and a dog person, or just a cat person; can hold her end of a conversation; is athletic, healthy, and/or knowledgeable about sports; is a barfly and a discerning drinker; isn't into power or pain because the best adult play is between friends and equals; has a little black cocktail dress and doesn't think it's weird that I crave opportunities to wear my tux; someone who respects my relationships, and who expects the same; someone who digs my cooking; someone who doesn't impose her beliefs about people's private lives on others; someone who is sure of herself and mostly comfortable in her own skin.