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37 M Madison, WI

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Hispanic / Latin, White
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Other (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Debauchery. Wit. Charm. Coffee. If these words interest you, read on...

I was a student, a drop-out, a drop-in, and ended up in a PhD program. Academia had me in its grip, but after a few years it became clear to me that a break was in order. I've abandoned the path towards the PhD, but I feel pretty good about that departure...

I am a poet who has stopped writing poetry, an embracer of revelry, and I am smart enough to know how stupid I can be. I laugh at people who think "queer" is an insult... I am probably too in love with ellipses. Right now I write and edit for money and read obnoxiously intellectual writing about enjoying low brow pleasures. Somehow I've managed to make an adult living off of it. How the hell did that happen?!

When I'm not reading and writing, I engage in such diversions as flirtation, caffeine, and stronger drink besides. I love indulging in passion, intimacy, and the company of good friends...

Be bold and write me.

Also, I realize this area is supposed to be a SELF-summary, but my dear friend grace_too would like to jump in for just a moment to inform you that I'm big in Japan. I have to correct her, though... I was big in Japan, maybe ten or fifteen years ago...

I am passionate, insightful, and deliciously fun...

(And I am parenthetically sad that 'the three words' are no longer a part of OkC; I think they were a great way to acquire that extra smidge of differentiation...)
What I’m doing with my life
Through a lot of hard work and some lucky breaks, I am making a life out of my joys instead of grinding it out at a shitty day job. I get to have fun with some wonderful friends between trying to hit my deadlines for writing geeky articles and the like. Also, there is booze and other debauchery...
I’m really good at
Coming up with a great idea; talking about nearly anything; understanding people; grappling with theory; putting words together nice; and speaking of nice: nice shoes...
The first things people usually notice about me
I would imagine this would completely depend on what people tend to perceive. I, for example, notice hair, walk, and talk. Maybe they'll notice my personable attitude or my sarcasm. Maybe my bold glasses or my ass. Who knows?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite books? How about authors? Milan Kundera, Margaret Atwood, Andrew Vachss, Orson Scott Card, and Carol Queen come to mind...

Movies? Good lord. Why not just ask me about which organs are my favorites? (Though, to be fair, Shortbus manages to embody parts of my version of utopia...)

Music? Well, tells me that my most listened to music of this year is, in order: PJ Harvey, The Cure, Bishop Allen, Liz Phair, X, Nine Inch Nails]], [Tom Waits, Ani DiFranco, Ane Brun, The Beatles, PHOX, Screamin' Cyn Cyn and the Pons, Faith No More, Lizzo and Pinback...

Food? See movies. I do enjoy me a nice Pad Thai, though...
The six things I could never do without
The people I love and care about, my lovely home, the computer, cards, pen and paper, and my wits...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Privilege. Neo-liberalism. Queer theory. Post-positivism. Situated Knowledge. Intersectionality. Narrowcasting.

Ah, stupid thinking... why must I always be thinking?

I travel a lot. Sometimes, when I'm traveling, I find myself wondering what the hell I'll do if a zombie apocalypse breaks out at that very moment. I feel pretty okay if I'm at home, but out in the world, would I make it when there are so many unknowns to areas you aren't fully familiar with?

And then Russ. Good, god. Russ. And more recently, Walker. Fuck. Fuck Walker. And, generally speaking, Wisconsin. I'm still trying to sort out what it is going to be like to clean up the mess that we've got here, now.

(And, more randomly, what does "Short-term dating" mean to people? It seems fairly ambiguous...)
On a typical Friday night I am
On the road in some random city... Lazing in bed with good food and a movie... At a show letting the music hit me...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Here are several:

I met one of my best friends, wildenights, here on OkC, so perhaps my expectations of what could be possible on this site are fairly high...

People keep telling me I'd make a great Companion (a la Inara)... I take that as a high compliment.

I still keep AIM open on my computer, mostly to keep track of old-school friends. HedonistPoet there, too, by the way...

(And, I thought I'd also write a nicer version of something I once saw in another person's profile: this section's question is giving you an opportunity to let us know who you are. It is asking you what the most private thing you are willing to admit is, not what your most private thing is. Help us all figure out who you are by sharing something, even if it is just that you really love spaghetti.)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–48
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
* You are the kind of person that views yourself as a stand-out.
* You are queer-identified (or understand what that framing means).
* You have an excellent grasp of social rules so that you know just how to break those rules when it counts.
* You are smart and can be challenging without being obstinate.
* You like to give yourself little treats.
* You don't expect getting involved with someone means that planning a marriage is in the cards.
* You don't assume that something fun and casual can't also be rich and deep.
* You rock.

Or, in other words:
*** strong guts (that act), warm heart (that feels), bright eyes (that see), sharp mind (that whirrs), hot loins (that need)... hopefully, all in the same package, though others may apply...