Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
is summed up by my favorite painting:
Venus & Adonis by Peter Paul Reubens, where Venus is trying to
restrain Adonis from going off to hunt the wild boar and even Cupid
(the inspiration for this website!) is wrapped around his
Adonis should go live happily ever after with Venus, but instead
breaks free and becomes an unsuccessful matador. According to
mythology, the boar survives and Adonis doesn't, even though Adonis
was completely jacked.
I know there must be a lesson there somewhere... lol
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Studying for my Myers-Briggs Personality Test. I need to pass it to
graduate high school, or I'll have to get a GED. But I heard the
GED Prom is more fun - just like the subterranean steerage parties
in Titanic! (Or just check My Details two measly inches to your
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Expressing my true self. If you're too literal for light-hearted
social commentary, you're welcome to marry a solid citizen who
dutifully filled his profile with every modern cliche, and settle
down in a quiet area with top-notch public schools and lots of free
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I have no toothpaste stains on the mirror or visible bathroom
products in my shirtless selfie, or even a shirtless selfie at all!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Charles Bukowski* and the Beat writers (Kerouac, Ginsberg and
Burroughs); Taxi Driver; King Of Queens; David Bowie's Diamond
Dogs; stone crab claws and key lime pie.
* Bukowski's alter-ego was Henry Chinaski. I am the son he never
had, but wishes he did, as I carry on the proud Chinaski legacy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My morphine-filled tranquilizer darts (how else ya gonna get the
tigers on safari to lie still long enough to pet 'em?).
2. My trusty Sherpa guide (to capture majestic photos of me atop
Macchu Picchu/Mount Everest/Mount Sinai raising aloft the original
3. My buckled seat belt (in case I get rammed while taking a front
seat car selfie).
4. My properly secured ropes (so I don't fall off the rock onto my
intern holding the iphone camera below me).
5. My ability to convince glamorous people to let my assistant take
pics of me with them (with my purposeless hand of doom only one
inch from making actual physical contact...).
6. My luck in (so far) getting away with naughtily skipping steps
on Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Which ironic mustache best compliments my "duck face" (squinting
eyes while pursing lips, for those of you who don't spend enough
time in the Mission).
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm out and about, with my mad New York Jewy accent becoming more
entrancing with each additional drink you consume.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I won't snore and keep you awake.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're curious as to whether I'm exaggerating or I'm even worse
than it sounds! (opinions vary). Okay seriously, I'm looking for a
woman who's alright with some differences, but otherwise “gets” my
sense of humor and appreciates satire and irony. If we're exactly
the same, we might not get along as well.
P.S.: Quickmatch doesn't tell who rated me. I need a message of
words, not stars. Put your education to good use. Kthanksbye. :)
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