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HerSelftheElf
28 / F / bisexual / Single
Las Vegas, Nevada
Her journal posts
Starting Conversation
I am tired of people initiating conversation without actually being
able to build a conversation. It always the people with the worse
skill, that get all snipping about me not talking to them. Look it
says right in my profile, have something to say. I am not going to
do the work for you. It is not that I will not or can not have a
conversation, it is just that I will not give you an easy pass on
getting it going. If it would be a weird or uncomfortable way to
start a conversation in person, it is likely that it is online as
well. There are some differences between talking online and in
person, but they are still very similar.
If you are going to ask questions, open ended is better than close ended. Either, way have a response to answers you get. By the way, it is polite to answer your own questions.
Playing 20 questions is not the same as having a conversation. I will answer your questions, but don't expect me to have any in return. I will ask what I want to know. Just because I don't have any questions for you at any given time, doesn't mean I am not interested. It means I don't have any questions for you.
IF the conversation is not going the way YOU want it to go, change it or leave it. Just do not whine about me not conversing. It makes you seem petty and tiresome.
If you are going to ask questions, open ended is better than close ended. Either, way have a response to answers you get. By the way, it is polite to answer your own questions.
Playing 20 questions is not the same as having a conversation. I will answer your questions, but don't expect me to have any in return. I will ask what I want to know. Just because I don't have any questions for you at any given time, doesn't mean I am not interested. It means I don't have any questions for you.
IF the conversation is not going the way YOU want it to go, change it or leave it. Just do not whine about me not conversing. It makes you seem petty and tiresome.
Okay, people actually whine at you for not conversing? Do they
realize what this site is about? Sometimes a conversation clicks
and goes on for forever, sometimes it doesn't. About the most I'll
do is send a second message making sure my e-mail hadn't just
accidentally been overlooked, but that's because I do the same damn
thing...and even then that's only for the conversations that were
going somewhere to begin with.
dabido commented on
While I agree with your overall message, I've actually found it
helpful to do a "one-question-a-message" thing with people I'm
interested in continuing conversation with (as per the note in my
"message me if"). It can end up feeling kind of forced at times,
but it works wonders to communicate continued interest in a medium
where more subtle conversational cues don't carry well. I've had
conversations where the talk was involved enough that this practice
ended up forgotten, but most of the time, it helps keep the
conversation going, and it helps me (and, I hope, other people as
well) feel that the other person is putting effort into continuing
the conversation as well.
yogurtbacteria commented on
It's easy to carry on a conversation when both parties possess A.
The skill to carry on a conversation. and B. The cerebral capacity
to continue to engage in said conversation. I can carry on a
conversation with just about anyone...unless they just sit there
quietly and let me talk and talk (Which I can do.) without saying
anything...(A good reason I get bored so quickly at bars.) Of
course lack of conversation on a date usually ends with me having a
headache. (A sure fire sign that I am on a bad date.) I am just
rambling and saying I fully agree with you.
Quyntarious commented on
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