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30 Ottawa, Ontario, CA Non-binary, Androgynous, Transmasculine, Genderqueer, Other

Non-binary, Androgynous, Transmasculine, Genderqueer, Other

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 20-100
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Today – 4:53am
Pansexual, Queer
Asian, Pacific Islander, Other
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 2" (1.57m)
Body Type
Special Diet
Not at all
Other and it’s important
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
Has cats
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat), Latin (Somewhat), Tagalog (Somewhat), Japanese (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I just got out of a serious relationship, so I'm basically looking for like-minded people to hang out with, and I'm open to it leading to more.

I'm deeply political and spiritual-- at the same time! My animistic faith is an integral part of my life, and informs my politics just as much as my analysis on power structures/anti-oppression. I'd prefer hanging out with folks that share my sense of justice for racial, queer, and trans liberation, especially other radical QTBIPOC (queer, trans, Black, Indigenous, and/or People of Colour). My current partners are all white/white-passing, however, and though they are also committed to social justice, I'd like to hang out and spend more time with folks who understand my cultural background and lived experiences.

My goal right now, besides decolonizing the world, is getting a Master's degree in Counselling/Social Work so that I can move on from retail jobs and under-paid social work, to decently paid social work. My hope is that if I somehow attain that lauded "financial stability" people are always capitalistically going on about, then I can finally build a home to foster/adopt children, specifically QTBIPOC kids and youth. I would love some co-parents to sign up on this endeavour with me, regardless if we hook up or not romantically.

In the meantime, I venerate my ancestors and work with spirits, am (re)learning native languages (Tagalog, Bikol, Anishnaabemowin/Ojibway), getting back into a regular form of fitness and martial arts, going on speaking tours and writing poetry, and continuing on my healing journey of recovery. I also have two cats and currently live with one of my partners.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
a.k.a. Things To Accept If You Want To Hang Out

(Updated October 2015)

1) I'm genderqueer, transgender, and multi-gendered. That means you won't be freaked out that I resist the gender binary, fuck around with gender norms and am doing hormone therapy to further become my true self.
2) I'm an activist focused on anti-oppression and decolonization. I work for social justice, I volunteer for various collectives and agencies, and I participate in direct action campaigns and discussion groups-- this is my life, and expect to be gently called on your privilege (white, ableist, patriarchal, cissexist, heteronormative, colonial, etc.) if you interact with me.
3) I'm an animist/mystic/spiritworker. I've a background in chaos magick and my ancestral traditions as well as Northern Tradition Paganism. I honour my ancestors and local spirits. I cultivate a relationship with my environment. I employ psychological techniques that look like magick and magick that looks like psychology. I am an epistemological anarchist, psychonaut, and believer.
4) I'm a performer/speaker/presenter. Because of this, locally, I do a lot of events where I'm talking a lot.
5) I'm a survivor and relict. I need support from a network of folks I consider my family as well as those who are specifically there to support and counsel me as I continue my recovery from trauma and abuse. Also, I still grieve for my deceased partner. Though we never married, we were together for 3 years and co-habitated. I have very specific concepts about boundaries, nonviolent and radical communication, triggers, and support that need to be understood and respected above all things.
6) I'm neuroatypical/multiple. This is fairly private, so I can explain it to you if you're interested. Generally, I've got apparently high emotional and mental intelligence with differentiated and adaptive personality mechanisms partially instigated by trauma.
7) I'm currently seeing 4-5 people in loving, fulfilling, longterm relationships where they consider me family and I consider them family. I consider myself a relationship anarchist, and do not consider sex a defining trait of whether I prioritize a relationship among the multiple I have ethically and simultaneously.
8) I'm kinky. This is the kind of thing you'll have to ask about if you want details. Or you can probably find me on FetLife.

Shit I'm Working On That Might Eventually Irritate You
- My able-bodied privilege and colonial privilege as a settler on Turtle Island, specifically "Canada"
- Trying to get back into frequent and steady physical fitness
- Gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia
- A balance between working too much and hiding from the world
- I am horny. Like, a lot. And kinky horny, i.e. vanilla sex won't cut it
- I sometimes have time management issues, where I double-book, overcommit, show up late, or forget about a meeting
- I text really slowly and prefer talking on the phone or face-to-face
- I'm a bit of a rescuer and have to work on not trying to fix your problems or offer advice or take responsibility for your shit
- I'm a talker, to the point where folks may consider it TMI, overshare, or indiscreet (though I still do my utmost to protect folks' privacy, it's good to assume that if you don't tell me who is allowed to know this information in blunt terms, I will talk about it)
- I am unpredictably unpredictable, chaotic, and messy (literally and figuratively)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Over-indulgent self-analysis.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm short, and I dress and/or act like a cross between The Doctor and a brown-skinned Margaret Cho-- just with a lot more black clothing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.

a) I'm a die-hard-core bookworm. I'll just say genres: anti-oppression, Epic fantasy, sci-fi, magic realism, urban fantasy, dark fantasy, horror, romantic horror, theater of the absurd, theater of cruelty, surrealism, experimental, sacred scriptures, literary criticism, philosophical texts, comedic fantasy, and poetry of all kinds.

b) Films: Cloud Atlas, Stranger Than Fiction, Donnie Darko, I *Heart* Huckabees, Session Nine, Nightmare Before Christmas, Hedwig & The Angry Inch... bah, there are too many to go into. My favorite are experimental, mindfuckers, horror, certain types of comedy, and philosophy.

c) Favourite shows right now: Steven Universe, The Office, Adventure Time, Bravest Warriors, Archer, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Glee, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (bronies reprezent!), Fringe, Community, Game of Thrones.

d) Eclectic, varied, ever-changing taste, of course. Genres: triphop, emo, punk, screamo, metal, intelligent hiphop, IDM, electronica, breakbeat, drum&bass, trance, alternative, industrial, experimental, folk rock, art rock, classical, ska, britpop, darkwave, grunge, j-rock/pop.

e) Mangos, avocados, bubble sherbet, salt and pepper tofu, fettucine alfredo, faux rotisserie chicken, anything ube-flavoured, creamy sauces, spicy food, chocolate, cheese, polvoron, etc.

The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

1) my physical capabilities

2) my mental faculties

3) my ability to create

4) knowledge, wisdom, learning

5) music that touches me, and the ability to appreciate it

6) connection to the world, people, and Spirit

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Existence. On the nature of nature, and on the nature of human beings. How I can improve myself as a person and learn from my mistakes. How I can balance diverse visions and goals and not have my head explode. The people and things I love. Decolonization. How to make the world a better place. Basic survival and beyond. Resisting oppression. Building communities. Recovery and Spirit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Performing, spectating, reading, studying, writing, drawing, on my laptop, cuddling with one of my partners/lovers, babysitting the kids of one of my other partners, watching a movie, gaming, partying, hanging out with a friend or more, praying/meditating, communing/venerating, or passed out.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is that the most important things to me in my life right now are recovery, decolonization, spiritual growth, creative growth, and family (chosen and of origin).
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're interested in making a new casual friend that may lead to something more, especially if you're QTBIPOC.