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TheRustyTaxman

23 M Santa Ana, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin, Other
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Often
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Other
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English, Spanish

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My self-summary
Work. Get a job. Get a job so you can get money so you can fuck. Lift weights so you look good enough to fuck. Learn shit, have funny and interesting things to talk about, so you can fuck. Go out so you can fuck, stay in online so you can fuck. Get good sources for drugs, stock your house with alcohol, learn how to cook so your second date can be at your house. Go to parties and spend money and talk to people and who gives a a shit what any of them say unless they’re girls you can fuck, guys who might know girls you can fuck. This is a disease of our libertine society, we are told. Used to be you’d get married young and your first time would be on your wedding night. You’d be monogamous for life. Bullshit. No one ever did that. The men were always fucking something. Hookers, donkeys, little boys.

You meet a girl. She makes you horny. So you like her. But you know she’ll bug the fuck out of you. Sooner or later.

How do you not push that moment. When you are “good with women” you force yourself to make it happen too fast. You look for flaws in her to gird yourself. Make it so she can’t get to you. Love is a fight and you stay on top by loving the other person less. You get to where it’s like this right away. From the first date. First minute. You get girls so you can feel something. But you can only get girls if you feel nothing.

This girl, though. It felt like nature meant for us to breed. Her armpits smelled like our kids would be immune to some ancient parasite. I want to rut with her and fill her soft belly full of babies. I like her accent. Her eyes. But she will bug the fuck out of me sooner or later. The “game” part of you pushes for that moment. Too fast.

Don’t push it. And don’t pull it back. Just feel what you feel. But you tell yourself: snap out of it. This is fleeting bullshit, your mind says. You know it will end so end it now. There’s no free lunch and you can’t break even. Love is a made up story. If you like them they don’t like you.

What can you do. God is evil. She will bug the fuck out of me.

Sooner rather than later.
What I’m doing with my life
I like the usual things... you know-- roaring fire in the hearth, snifter of brandy, Afghan hounds at my feet... my pipe filled with fine tobaccos from around the world as I crack open a handsome calfskin-bound first edition of Sir Walter Raleigh...

Gazing at the once-fierce heads of my hunting trophies leering in the firelight, I recount harrowing tales of adventures in the veldt-- the time a rogue wildebeest charged on N!xho, my Khoisan guide, goring him lethally-- a man I loved as a brother...
I’m really good at
-Falconry
-Drunkenly pawing at you.
- Accidentally saying things that make uptight people uncomfortable
- Masturbating
- Accidentally saying things that make me sound insensitive
- Pleasing your mom
- Accidentally saying things that I should never, ever admit to
- Telling my friends what's wrong with them
- Imagining that the future will be wonderful
- Recovering from disappointment
The first things people usually notice about me
That drunk gay guy kind of looks like the younger Boston Marathon Bomber.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books:
Paradise Lost, I Am Legend, I,Lucifer, Letters from Earth, Notes from Underground, The Stranger, The Antichrist, Trainspotting, Porno, Narcissus and Goldmund. Requiem for a Dream, Johnny Got His Gun, The Sun Also Rises. East of Eden. Helter Skelter, In Cold Blood, 1984, Anthem, Slaughterhouse-Five, While Mortals Sleep.
Movies:
Citizen Kane, Trainspotting, High Fidelity, A Few Good Men, Fullmetal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, Solaris, The Shining, 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, Blue Valentine, Enter The Void, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Amores Perros, Babel, Se7en, 12 Monkeys, Pulp Fiction, The Godfather, Un Chien Andalou, This Is England.
Music:
Fleetwood Mac, Kool Keith, TNGHT, Johnny Cash, John Denver, Aesop Rock, ASAP Rocky, Waka Flocka, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Ella Fitzgerald, Curtis Mayfield, Bill Withers, Neil Young, Marvin Gaye, Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Joy Division, Joey Bada$$, Flying Lotus, Nujabes, Force Of Nature, Shing0, Dabrye, J Dilla, Hitboy, Richboy, Gucci Mane, John Denver, Queen, Damu The Fudgemunk, DdayOne, Bullion, Wu Tang Clan, xxyyxx, Sbtrkt and many more.
The six things I could never do without
Instagram for some intense fap material.
My prized hunting hounds.
Time travel
Dr. Who
Big butts.
Suicidegirls.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drunkenly pawing at you in a bar. Then getting your number and never calling you. I don't remember what we talked about but apparently it wasn't that interesting. Your hair is awesome though. Good work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm too chickenshit to say I'm looking for "casual sex" but I would totally bone you.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–25
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Look, just fuck me, for Christ’s sake. Why do I have to write this god damn essay like I’m applying for college. Why don’t we just admit that’s what this web site is for. You’re not gonna meet your husband on here. You’re gonna meet your husband at work where you’re forced to be around him without an agenda. You two will slowly grow on one another. That’s how relationships happen. Me, you’re gonna let me buy you a couple cheap wines and wake up groggy in the morning with my boner grinding your butt crack. We will make a half hearted plan to meet up at some art show; whichever one of us is better looking will flake, and we will never speak again. Why do this fucking kabuki dance

I don’t give a shit about your money, job or car. But you may give a shit about my money, job and car. I have no money, a shitty job, and my car is worth $800. It’s primer colored, and the seat belt, windows, sunroof and A/C are all broken. Or rather, the A/C works but only when it’s not hot. And someone jacked my stereo. And the car is older than you. You have to be younger than my car.

What I want is for you to be special enough that I don’t just use you for sex. And I need you to prove that to me just about instantly, on our first date. I need you to be so funny and sweet and thought-provoking that I abandon my plan to have you drive me up the hill from the bar and get you into my squalid apartment and pour cheap red wine down your gullet while a youtube clip of Claude Debussy plays through my tinny computer speakers, and then I carry you into the bedroom and after a couple fake girlish objections on your part I give you the raw meatpipe.