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34 • Los Angeles, CA • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 27–34
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, short-term dating
- Last Online
- Online now!
- 5′ 11″ (1.80m)
- Body Type
- Mostly anything
- Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
- Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
- Graduated from university
- Relationship Status
- Relationship Type
- Doesn’t have kids
- Likes dogs and likes cats
And I don't appreciate OkCupid making me go there. I thought we were all having fun. And then it got real on question two. I think we all felt that, didn't we.
IF YOUR FRONT DOOR COULD MAGICALLY LEAD ANYWHERE IN LOS ANGELES, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
The Last Bookstore. That would not get old. And yes, it would be through the labyrinth.
IF THERE WAS ONE FOOD YOU COULD PREPARE BRILLIANTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Sushi. Sushi preparation seems like a craft that never ends.
IF IT CAME AT THE EXPENSE OF BEING HOPELESSLY INEPT AT PREPARING A DIFFERENT FOOD, WHAT WOULD THAT FOOD BE?
Sandwiches. Because people wouldn't get it. They'd be like "How can he do such amazing things with sushi but he can't put ham and cheese between two slices of bread?" And it would be endearing. And then it would get annoying.
FIRST TIME YOU SAW BOOBIES IN A MOVIE ON THE BIG SCREEN?
I remember specifically seeing boobies in a movie on the big screen in Demolition Man. I turned to my buddy and our jaws were on the floor, because yes, we had just seen boobies.
THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE... FINISH THE SENTENCE.
People who have seen The Wire and people who are sick and tired of you telling them to watch The Wire. I will watch The Wire. It's seems like a commitment.
See? Now you have no idea what I'm really good at. We officially have some stuff to talk about when we get a drink.
I'm a film guy so I try to stay interested in what's happening now. These are the people who are doing things right now that I am interested in:
David O. Russell (Silver Linings Playbook), John Requa & Glenn Ficarra (I Love You Philip Morris), Maren Ade (Everyone Else), Edgar Wright (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World), Lake Bell (In a World...), Noah Baumbach (Frances Ha), Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg (This Is The End), Richard Linklater (Before Midnight...but pretty much everything), Asghar Farhadi (Nader & Simin, A Separation), Leos Carax (Holy Motors), Drew Goddard (The Cabin in the Woods), Joss Whedon (The Avengers), Gayby (Jonathan Lisecki), Rian Johnson (Looper), Lynn Shelton (Your Sister's Sister), Julia Loktev (The Loneliest Planet), Mike Mills (Beginners), Abbas Kiarostami (Certified Copy), Kenneth Lonergan (Margaret), Bennett Miller (Moneyball), Tom McCarthy (Win Win), Sean Durkin (Martha Marcy May Marlene), and Brad Bird (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol).
-- Wiki-tunnels & YouTube spirals.
-- Audiobooks & Podcasts.
-- Perfect comments and comebacks hours too late.
I'm getting into alternate histories and there's a message board that has a pretty epic "What if Joe Biden became President in 1988?" story going, and it's been stalled for a month now. I don't want this guy to give up. In this world, Yugoslavia is a clusterfuck and Vice President Rudy Perpich died while visiting it. While President Joe Biden was in surgery, we had Acting President William H. Gray III while Vice President Claiborne Pell was waiting to be sworn in. President Joe Biden has made the choice not to run and Clinton is blowing it in the primaries. In the next post, we find out if President Joe Biden has convinced Mario Cuomo to finally run. This is big stuff, people! I am tired of waiting for the Joe Biden Express.
UPDATE: well, in 1992 the Democrats were pretty split between Michael Dukakis, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and a pesky Jerry Brown insurgency campaign, so at the last minute who did they turn to? That's right! A long-awaited bid for the presidency by Mario Cuomo. But it was so late in the game that deals had to be made for the aforementioned carriers of the torch to release their delegates! Also, Dick Cheney died of a heart attack and Lee Atwater is the black sheep of the Republican party. He's got something up his sleeve -- but what?!?
Dead silence. Pins echo as they fall to the floor. Everyone drops what they're doing and makes eye contact -- it was going down!
Because I have no idea what these words mean. Like, no idea.
"Come on, you guys! You know what I got."
"No, we don't. We really don't. That's why we're asking."
While I stall for time, I'm going through my brain, like, "Okay, think, think. A cock is a male chicken, so that's masculine but it's not too masculine. A cunt is -- I don't even know what a cunt is! It could be, like, a rhino, which is more masculine than a chicken, unless it's a girl rhino in which case it's not -- but it still might be because a rhino -- "
"Time's up. What do you got?"
Endless silence. Quiz show sweat pouring down my face. TEACHERS NOT PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL!
"I have, y'know, a cock."
"Sorry. That took way too long. We don't believe you." #middleschoolfail
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