About ten years ago, I was completely and wholeheartedly struggling with my life (sprinkled with good stuff too.) I was going through a divorce in a marriage I was never 100% in, hated my job in the pharmaceutical industry, was on the brink of being laid off, had way too much debt, and was depressed and full of anxiety; a normal state I covered up for years after growing up in foster homes and viewing life as ruthless and unfair. There is one question a woman asked me. She asked, "What are you excited about?" I looked at her with a blank face and even deeper sadness confronted with the harsh reality that I was anything but "excited." That was a turning point.
It became my mission from then on out to create a life that put me in the driver's seat...to be 100% responsible for my happiness and to be excited and passionate about my future. A fire was definitely born in amongst the ambers. I certainly haven't "arrived" (I don't think we ever do) but I do look towards my future and get...excited! Life is certainly not "perfect" but what is, is the ability to feel...all of it, deeply and to know that I have the ability to create whatever experience I want, no matter the circumstances. It is my choice to lay down and ignore things or get up and do something about it. Either way, I/we have the choice and seeing that makes me very happy.
Now if I could just find my hero, the guy I am attracted to, have a blast with, respect and is very good at what he does professionally.