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Hlkolaya

29 F Durham, NC

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:11pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Strictly vegan
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Has a kid, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I tend to go for radically liberal and progressive, intelligent and compassionate men and women who have more than a streak of non conformity. I'll admit to kind of being a sucker for piercings, tattoos (tasteful ones), and manic panic hair, but those aren't hard and fast rules- the only real rules I have are no conservatives, religious people, or trying to get into my pants before I've met you (really, it's not attractive when you start sexting me dirty pictures before we even meet).

I'm a feminist, a fat acceptance activist and blogger, and a reformed romantic. I like board games and I make fantastic peanut butter cups. You name a hair color and I've probably done it. I literally wouldn't hurt a fly and I'm pretty political- yeah, one of those dirty socialists you keep hearing about. I tend to say really stupid things which sometimes translates to me being really funny or just really weird with the occasional awkward.

**special note that i'll probably take down later: i'm exhausted. really really exhausted by all of the sexist men that I go out with. They claim to be liberal or feminist.. they're not. they're really really not. I once had a guy say the actual words "if I were to rape you.." while on a date. Can.. can I just have a nice, good looking (well, good looking to me, maybe not to society or everyone else.. whatevs), feminist, socially progressive guy or gal message me so that we can go on long strolls and rant about privilege together?
What I’m doing with my life
I've been on a fat positive podcast twice, HuffPost Live once, I'm speaking at a conference in August about the intersection of queer and fat issues, and I'm filming for a new series (just the pilot right now) on Lifetime all about body positivity in early August. I'm an activist and it's getting me some pretty cool things.

I recently took up belly dancing which is super fun! I've been at it since January '14 and I love every new lesson. Singing with the Pop Up Chorus here in Durham. Searching for a classical chorus to be a part of.

Helping organize meetups for the triangle fatties. Going to other meetup events. Blogging (I write for three blogs now- my own and two others). Posing for the camera and getting others to pose for my camera.

I'm getting my first tattoo this year.

I want to learn to walk my cats on leashes.

I really want to do stupid things, stay up all night trying something I've never tried before, meet new people and live as much as I can while I still can. Do you think you can help me with that?
I’m really good at
I'm fantastic at being opinionated. I can sing. I'm not american idol winner good, but I've been in musical groups since high school. I scrapbook and make jewelry... i did used to sell my jewelry but loved so much of it that I couldn't bare to part with it. I also really love baking and like to think I'm pretty okay at it. I'm no photography expert, but I'm pretty good. I have some of my photos up as well as a couple of my very rudimentary paintings. I mostly shoot people but I thought it would be weird to have other people's photos on my dating profile.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm fat and have bright pink hair? Depends on the person I guess. Tons of people say "is that the real color of your eyes?!" er... yes.. yes it is. Most people notice them when they're ice blue, but they range in color. Once I had a best friend who quite often threatened to pluck them out while I was sleeping.... a lot of people also notice the color of my hair and occasionally just my overall appearance.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series is awesome. I also love Harry Potter. The Scarlet Letter is my favorite classic- oh the woes of slut shaming. I recommend Lesson From the Fat-O-Sphere to *everyone*.

Movies - I like horror movies, dramas and romances (of course). Some of my favorite movies of all time are Dead Poets Society, Phantom of the Opera, and The Last Unicorn. What Dreams May Come, District 9, Seven Pounds

Music - MC Frontalot, Jonathan Coulton, Dixie Chicks, Evanescence, Forgive Durden, Celtic Women, The Beatles, Mary Lambert, Pink

TV: Chuck, Monk, Psych, Bones, House, Heroes, Supernatural, Fringe, Dr Who (i think the 10th doctor was the bee's knees. I'm not a huge fan of number 11), Torchwood, Being Human, Falling Skies, Under the Dome, and pretty much anything Sci-fi or supernatural

Food: I'm a vegan and I love to cook. Tofu is one of my favorite foods- tomatoes come in a close second (so.. i'm kind of allergic to tomatoes but i'm finding it really difficult to care) Really I love a little bit of everything and I'm currently searching for the perfect vegan cheesecake recipe. I recently had a chocolate cheesecake slice at a Loving Hut in Virginia and it was amazing. I'm also gluten free for the most part because of a gluten sensitivity, but if we go out for food don't worry about it. I totally cheat and have gluten sometimes.
The six things I could never do without
The number one thing I couldn't do without is my son. Once you become a parent there's nothing you wouldn't do to protect your child. The world becomes a more terrifying place and you suddenly find yourself wondering how you could protect your family in the event of a zombie attack.

Number two would be my camera- if I don't have it, I'm lost!

Number three would be music.

Four would be nature, green things, etc

Five would be something to write with and on.

and Six would be my friends, who are my support system.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to change the world for the better, helping other people, and improving my mental and physical well being.

why the cute ones are always fatphobes. even the fat cute ones.

if being so picky is worth it or if being so picky is actually super awesome because it helps me meet super awesome people and not super jerks. But then.. there aren't that many people who aren't jerks.
On a typical Friday night I am
Depends, sometimes I'm super busy and sometimes my fridays are really chill.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm kind of afraid of phones. @_@ Please don't ask me to call you. Email, text, chat, meet in person- all fine.. but no phones.

and i tend to never capitalize while typing. it's such a time waster!

I'm chronically ill. I know, I know.. probably TMI, right? But I'm tired of explaining to people why I'm tired all of the time. I have thyroid disease and I haven't managed to get it under control yet. I feel good for a couple of months and then always end up having to increase my meds because I'm sleeping 20 hours a day. So sometimes I'm way too tired to always be on the go. I hope you understand.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 21–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If me being poly doesn't bother you. My primary partner is male, but doesn't have an okcupid account as he is monogamous. I currently have two secondaries: seandavid87 and MolotovGypsy

You're an awesome intersectional feminist.

You're not a hunter/fisher.

You're so liberal that even your liberal college buddies think you've gone too far. (this means progressive liberal not centrist liberal)

You think activism is essential to changing the world.

you're not trying to lose weight. getting healthier is fine and i totally encourage that but i'm not jumping on the body hate train.

Just message me if you're interested in hanging out or talking because I rarely go through and look at who's visited me so if you're just internet stalking me hoping I'll notice.. I won't.