Eh, I'm a geek. You figured it out.

Those of you that stopped reading already, GOOD. While I am far from one-dimensional, I make no apologies about being into computers, video games, webcomics, obscure music, random trivia, cartoons, an obscene amount of sci-fi books, and anything number of other things that most females seem to roll their eyes at. I am also very social, sarcastic, extremely prone to laughing at very inappropriate things, and proud to push a boundary or two. But no mistakin' it, I am a geek.

I was the third runner-up in the greater tri-state "Mr. Techie Cube-Dweller" beauty pageant, losing on a technicality that involved a misuse of my "talent". I'm firmly in the engineering/I.T. geek crowd, except I don't hate all my fellow human beings, I enjoy social contact, I can hold an intelligent conversation, I can lift more than 20 pounds, and I am not easily scared by loud noises. Kind of just moseying through life right now without corporate power-trip ambition oozing out of my pores, which is all the warm, rosy glow I need. More into life outside of work than inside, and given my healthy disrespect for authority, that will probably stay that way unless Google writes me into their will as the new CEO. I'd rather be dog-sledding.

All things involving math, science, technology, psychology, sociology, biology, chemistry, astrophysics, quantum physics, regular physics, cooking, art, business, motorcycles, advertising, law, interior design, exterior design, hockey, bass guitars, pyrotechnics, tattoos, scuba diving, verbal ass-whuppin', and horticulture. I'm kind of like Chuck Norris, combined with Stephen Hawking, mixed with MacGyver, and a sprinkle of those two old guys in the balcony from the Muppets.

Cliche answer? Eyes. More realistic answer? I am easily amused. By everything. Not annoying-fourth-grade-girl-giggling amused, but falling more on the most-things-in-the-universe-are-ludicrous side of things. Of course, if the eyes thing does it for you, I can work with that.

Books: lots of sci-fi, cyberpunky, humorous, and biographical stuff for fun, and standard techie-fare for work. I read a lot. No, a LOT. Mommy was a librarian, and she force-fed me like a sadistic, wounded she-wolf growing up. If you need names, Stephenson, Gaiman, Jordon (RIP), Tolkien, Vonnegut, Martin...the list is big. I also LOVE comics & webcomics, but more the humorous, snarky, real-life-except-a-little-bent ones than your standard Marvel fare.

Music: indie, trance, nu-metal, gothy crap, classical - music is a tool to me for changing my mood by force. I apparently have a neurological disorder that prevents me from remembering the words to songs, so it's more the tone, beat, and sheer emotional karma of music that affects me. At work, it's mostly downtempo or techno-crap like DJ Tiesto, DJ Krush, BT, Paul Oakenfold, etc, since I can listen to that without occupying too many neurons. And yes, it completely PISSES ME OFF how cliche this is for a geeky-type dude. Otherwise, stuff like Tool, Disturbed, Gorillaz, Justice, Royksopp, Lacuna Coil.....dunno.

Movies: offbeat, comedic and dark over mainstream and chick flicks. Yes, I saw "The Notebook" under protest, and yes, it sucked. HARD. Donnie Darko, Bladerunner, Brazil, Clockwork Orange, Worlds Fastest Indian, Anchorman....Netflix is OK, but I prefer really odd stuff that surprises me.

TV: don't watch much, but the Daily Show, Adult Swim, tosh.0, Big Bang Theory, the occasional hockey game, Eureka, and a few other random ones make it on sometimes. Thinking about dumping cable and going with AppleTV and/or Hulu.

Food: the edible type. Asian, Indian, Mexican, Spanish, Italian, French, Scandinavian, Ethiopian, sushi, Thai -- it all works.

1. The intarweb. See earlier geek statements. Not quite a \b\tard yet, but working on it.

2. Cliche iPod answer. Podcasts are wicked convenient.

3. Motorcycle. Sold mine a little while ago, searching ambitiously for another. Glossy black and chrome is HAWT (no crotchrockets). Yes, your brilliant logic has no doubt concluded that I *am* living without one, i.e. it shouldn't be on the list. Take your logic, fold it till it's all sharp corners, and cram it. HARD.

4. Passion. Emotional, physical, intellectual - it's the reason for living. Duh.

5. The fine folks at reddit.com, the not-so-fine folks at 4chan, a whole host of webcomic artists, and everyone else out there pushing back at normal.

6. Asics. My running shoes are more comfortable than a warm tub full of marshmallows. MAKE EFFIN' DRESS SHOES ALREADY.

Peeps. Stale, marshmallow Peeps. Only the yellow bunny-shaped ones -- the bird-shaped ones are just sad, you sick, sick people.

Probably messin' around on the internet, heading out to a dive bar, pretending I have much stronger drawing abilities than I really have, or just hanging out with friends. I'm not a very structured GO GO GO kind of guy.

The more socially unacceptable and outright deviant something is, the more likely I am to find it amusing/stimulating.

You're tired of the "why-settle-for-drama-when-we-can-have-melodrama" approach to life. But NOT if you're one of the herd.