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37 Portland, OR Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28-38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Nov 27
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Agnosticism but it’s not important
Has kid(s)
English (Fluently), Chinese (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Oh yeah, hi. I'm super awkward. It's nice to meet you. Don't worry, I'm just always this stupid and apparently I have nothing to say beyond dick jokes. Btw, do you like dick jokes? You know what? Nevermind, you know what? Please don't call the cops. I'm not "actually" this creepy. Like, I have kids, so I'm not a creeper. Ok. Now I'm talking about kids. I'm just gonna go. Forget me....

I need to print some pamphlets to hand the Scientologists when they try to hand me their pamphlets....
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Sometimes when I'm bored, I go onto OkCupid and ironically critique people's photography techniques because the act itself makes me laugh really hard.

"I'm concerned that the unsteady nature of this photo and the fuzzy outcome may be a pre cursor for cerebral palsey. I'd recommend a check up with your physician or updating your phone's camera software. If your doctor says you're in the clear, maybe we can get together sometime and I can demonstrate how to properly take a selfie...over some drinks."

This, in part, is probably why it's so hard for me to find a date.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being the voice of reason. Laughing inappropriately. Thinking before I talk. Not thinking at all. Listening. Rambling. Crooning. Dreaming. Making jump shots. Being kind. Using my powers for good. Cooking. Ordering whiskey. Talkin shit. Keeping my mouth shut. Pretending I'm good at keeping my mouth shut. Dancing by myself in front of the speaker. Not sitting around. Not sleeping.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My mischievous grin.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I read a lot of thrillers, sci-fi, fantasy & the occasional biography. William Gibson, Robert Heinlein, Lee Childs, Robert Crais, Neal Stephenson, Terry Brooks, Piers Anthony, Pat Cadigan, Orson Scott Card, Jim Butcher & on & on. Other than that, I love Vonnegut, chuck palahniuk(is over rated, get over it) Carl Hiassen and books that make me laugh.

Movies: I'm a nerd and it especially shows in my movie selection. V for Vendetta, Bladerunner, Superhero movies, heavy CGI Sci-Fi epics and most animated features I'll check out in the theater.

Shows: Don't really follow too many shows anymore, since they suck the living jeebus out of me. Which isn't to say I haven't plowed through BattleStar Gallactica, Game of Thrones, Dexter & Justified in 3 sittings.

Music: NIN, The Pixies, BassNectar, Jurrasic 5, Mos Def, Passion Pit, Postal Service, Underworld, DJ Shadow, DJ Spooky, The Head & the Heart, Modest Mouse, Little Dragon & SUBTRKT, The Knife, Bob Marley, Phoenix & on & On & on. I used to DJ a while ago and I still have the same mentality as far as absorbing as much sound as I possibly can. If there's a bassline, I'm the tweaker by the speaker.

Food: I've been working in the restaurant/bar industry for over 15 years. I also love to cook when I have the time and will usually throw a dinner party for 8-15 people every couple of months just to satisfy that urge.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Coffee, music, sex, beer, friends, books
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Storylines, the coup de grace, bass lines, funny stories, new cocktail recipes, which book is going to occupy me, what to make for dinner, which song to listen to, when im actually gonna do laundry, what new thing I want to learn, why people are so ridiculous and what new place I'm going to explore.

If you wear those shoes with the actual toes on them, do everyone a favor and rethink your existence.

Why does it seem like a majority of online dating profiles look for hiking and camping partners? Do you really want to meet a random stranger from the internet out in the middle of the woods where no one can hear your screams?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
at a show, hanging with friends, talking shit, sleeping or scheming.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been online since 1200baud, so ur recently acquired opinions on me using u and ur and whatever online idiosyncrasies/etiquette are pointless and invalid.

I listed casual sex as something I'm looking for, along with a relationship or new friends. I don't really care anymore, i just didn't want to miss the opportunity to meet cool people just because they may be looking for something different than I am. I generally don't have a problem meeting ladies, but I'm actually looking for a connection. It's rare to meet someone at a bar for something beyond a physical relationship, so I guess that's why I'm here.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you want to go and DO something.

Meet me for a drink somewhere. "I live half in the daytime, I live half at night" I live half at night. Bars are still considered neutral territory, right?

If you wanna smoke 420 on the Waterfront because it's Tuesday.

You want to just say hi. Don't need a lengthy intro.

Oh yeah, don't bother "liking" me on OkCupid. I sure as hell am not gonna pay to see who "liked" me. Stalk me on Okcupid like an adult until you find me. Ugh, my stupid handle on here is Howard503.