If you think that self-summaries don't do anyone justice then we already have something in common.

I'm not interested in being rebellious or rude, socially acceptable or even polite. If I can just be myself around you we'll get along fine. The only things I can't tolerate are cruelty and hubris. Other than that I'm not easily offended or overtly offensive. My friends aren't many, but they are varied in personality and beliefs.

I'm something of an introvert, which makes meeting new people somewhat difficult, but I like to try. I think more than I speak, but if there is something you need to know I'll tell you honestly what I think. I enjoy my time alone almost as much as I enjoy being with friends.

At work last year we had a DISC meeting and we were guessing each other's personality types. My friends said that I was definitely a type C. I argued that I didn't fit well into that category. Then they were reading some of the phrases that type C people say and I had said about half of those phrases in the last 10 minutes. I can't argue with that. Also, on the political compass test I score very close to the Dalai Lama, which is a fact that, ironically, I'm very proud of.

I love wordplay, and really enjoy a good pun or inconspicuous cultural reference. I appreciate sarcasm, and a well-told joke. If you can work all of that into one funny story I'll think you're a genius.

I'm here to meet a woman. If I make some new friends along the way then life is better for it. That seems like a good place to start in any case. The whole dating scene never made sense to me.

I'm looking to strengthen relationships with old friends and make some new ones here. I'm trying to quiet the wanderlust that was both a burden and source of excitement in my youth. I've realized that it has made meaningful relationships difficult to maintain. I still love to travel, but it's nice to have a place to call home too. It's not a home without people, so I'm looking to meet some cool people to care about who can do the same for me. I'm not an easy person to get to know, but I think I'm worth it. If you are good-natured and understanding then I hope you will too.

People watching. But in my imagination I'm creating entirely fictitious scenarios to fit their actions. I make my own episodes of Space Ghost Coast to Coast in my head; not intentionally, but they usually seem to turn out that way.

Sitting absolutely still. I once saw a guy in Barcelona that looked like a wooden statue of a Native American. I was as startled as he was when I started looking for the price tag. It's a talent I've learned that is helpful for people watching. (sitting still, not checking for price tags)

Avoiding unwanted videos of Rick Astley. Nothing against Mr. Astley personally, whom I think has a wonderful, if unusually deep, voice. Really, it's the pseudo-dancing I can't tolerate. I think he's casting a spell on me to make me play an evil game of ring around the rosie.

You won't catch me on the dance floor. You'd have to 'bout pull my arm out of its socket to get me there. I can sing a mean song on the karaoke stage though. At least I think so. In reality it's probably hit and miss. Where's Simon Cowell when you need him?

Ok, this is a trick question. I'm assuming that the first thing people will notice will be some physical feature. If I introduce myself with my eyes crossed then people will notice that. What they notice when I'm not paying attention I have no idea. I'm tempted to run around naked so as not to obstruct their view. I've always thought the world would be a better place if clothing were merely decorative or functional anyway.

Come one, come all! Stare in amazement at my magnificent adam's apple! Oh yeah! Who's the king, baby? I tried a brief stint as a circus freak, but people were more interested in seeing the bearded lady. To be fair though, she was quite the looker. She also ran the kissing booth, while I got stuck juggling geese. Oh, the jealousy!

(A) Hyperspace, Parallel Worlds by Michio Kaku. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, Lord of the Rings trilogy by JRR Tolkien. I should probably read more, huh? I do read occasionally, but those are my favorites, and I have read each of them several times. The last book I read was 1984, another one I have read several times. Hmm, maybe I could use some variety. Got any recommendations? I'm partial to fiction.

(B) In general I like sci-fi, zombie horror and psychological dramas. Anything by George Romero is great. Specifically I like Labyrinth, Braveheart and Good Will Hunting Being John Malkovich, Fight Club, The Sixth Sense, Jacob's Ladder, The Shawshank Redemption, A Clockwork Orange, Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Million Dollar Baby, The Last Samurai, Seven Samurai, Serenity, TV series Firefly, Dexter, BSG, Shogun

(C) I like classic rock above all, but I enjoy some good metal music. I'll listen to just about anything but I'm not fond of modern country, modern rap or techno. Specifically I like The Who Reign O'er Me, Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird AC/DC Hell's Bells, Pantera Cemetery Gates, Metallica Unforgiven, Tracy Chapman Fast Car Jim Croce You Don't Mess Around With Jim, Simon and Garfunkel Slip Slidin' Away. There's so much great music out there. I probably enjoy your music too.

(D) I'll eat anything. A tragic incident with a bottle of Dave's Insanity Sauce and an over-heated microwave pizza has left me with no sense of taste. The good news is that studies show that capsaicin may be helpful in preventing cancer.

love, freedom, humility, good company, a sense of humor and understanding

Mostly the stupid stuff that is the essence of life. Sometimes I talk with Plato and tell him how it is. Back to the cave with you, brother! I'd totally spank Freud, but he'd enjoy it too much.

And jingles from 70's and 80's tv shows and commercials. Sometimes I find myself singing a jingle and wondering what show it comes from. It's a fun game! And when that isn't enough I surf youtube for videos to sing along with.

I wonder what kind of wonderful people the stranger parts of my profile will convince Staff Robot that I have common interests with. I'm anxious to meet the hitchhiking, bearded lady that will teach me to juggle geese on an Ethan Allen rocking chair.

I've started checking out Ethan Allen magazine looking for a good rocking chair. I want to put it on a giant cork and float it in the hot tub. I'm kinda scared though because that is eerily similar to how I broke my arm as a child. But hey, I live dangerously like dat!

I'm a Luddite. I don't own a cell phone or subscribe to Myface, or whatever the kids are calling it these days.

If you might eventually want to shoot some pool over suds, belt out some karaoke down the club, or go for a hike and take pictures of the same waterfall for the 100th time, I'm your guy. I also like to eat, so anything involving food is great. If you're feeling brave then I could cook something. I've been trying lately with mixed success. I don't know how good I am at board games or cards, but if I'm terrible then you could always put me on the other team.