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HugableKoala

62 Green Bay, WI Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 35–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Sep 22
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Retired
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
About You and Me

I LOVE the folks who write humorous and witty profiles. Those who manage to say things that are meaningful within the humor. I just plain enjoy them immensely. Unfortunately ... I am not that creative or witty. Sorry.

Hi. My name is Michael, which I prefer over Mike because it sounds "softer." I am quiet, shy, gentle, warm, sensitive, and affectionate. I am in no way macho and I in no way want to be. I happen to be one man who likes flowers, especially when picked by my lover while we walk together. I love children, and my favoritest job ever was in a day care center. I have a degree in Human Development from a university in Green Bay. ... I am quite liberal in my outlook (socially. politically, and religiously). My family is very important to me. On the Meyers-Briggs Personality Typology I am an INFP, and I am pleased with that. [INFP translates into the personality categories of "Introverted," "Intuative," "Feeling," and "Perceptive." Note that these terms have slightly different meanings than their daily usage counterparts.]

I do have a sense of humor but I sometimes hesitate to say I want to have "fun." "Fun" has for me the connotation of irresponsibility or recklessness. I envision a group of roudy teenagers who vandalize something and then say they were "just having 'fun'." I DO however pursue joy. Many things bring me joy. One thing which brings me joy is finding meaning in life. Something which brings me more joy is learning. I hope I never stop learning and growing - personally, socially, intellectually, and all other ways that you can imagine. That which brings me the most joy is helping others (especially children) learn. In today's economy and with Walker as govorner here in Wisconsin, and the resultant cuts in funding for education - I am some mixture of enraged and dismayed. I can't imagine ANYTHING being more important in today's technological and evolved society (even though perhaps the Midwest and Northeast Wisconsin may be a bit behind), in resolving most of our social problems than educating our children.

I am not well off financially, so if you are looking for a "sugar daddy," you need to spare yourself the time and stop here. I find joy in simple things. A picnic, a road trip to Door County, walking or hiking (I'm trying to figure out the difference (I think it's the boots you wear)) a nature trail, camping, quaint restaurants and quaint towns, Subway, Oreo McFurries, cuddling and firm warm hugs, reading (very much so), thunderstorms, family and friends, movies and plays, playing with children, playing myself (as like on some of the neat play equipment they have for children these days), feeding the geese at the Bay Beach Wildlife Sanctuary, rearranging a room and ending up with things where you started, and of course, ... being with someone I love. I tend toward routine to my peril, so I can be spontaneous if prodded at all. I don't always follow social convention. In fact - if I were to pick one word that described me - it would be unconventional (In reading many women's profiles however, I noticed that I am not the only one who can claim that. There are indeed many kinds of people "out there."). Sometimes my friends pretend they don't know me (kidding). Though I am a serious sort - I have a sense of humor, and I do know how to laugh. Joy is sacred too. And joy is “fun” at a much deeper and more meaningful level. It’s when your spirit sings. I'm not into the bar or club scene. Sometimes who I am with is as important as what we are doing.

I am a Unitarian Universalist and my faith is important to me. I feel at home after a long search for a church. We believe each individual must search for their own truth and meaning, and that each person has inherent dignity and worth (rather than being depraved from birth). I try to live by our 7 principles (uua.org). I would want us to consider our relationship to be "sacred." I believe that trust, honesty (not just telling the truth, but being who you are), and communication are crucial in a relationship. So is joy. Relationships take work but they shouldn't be ALL work or something is wrong. I would want a relationship where I could share my thoughts and feelings and where my partner would share her's with me. I need to give and receive warmth. I am looking for an eventual long term relationship(s) that involves intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy (recognizing that they are not totally independent). I need someone who has time for a relationship and is willing to make that relationship a priority. I believe that both monogamy and polyamory are beautiful when done well. They are just for different people. I’m toying with the idea that the monogamists are seeking an intimate loving partnership and polyamorists are seeking an intimate loving “network.” BOTH involve commitment. I think I could live with either in a partner. I’m not sure yet which I am. I think I would like to experiment with an "intentional community."
[A footnote here. I get a lot of rejections because I use the word "polyamory." Polyamory is definitely NOT the polygamy you may be thinking about. Not even close. It's also NOT swinging, or cheating. Not even close. There are other things it is NOT as well. I encourage you to check it out. If you need help, please ask.]

I don't smoke or drink, I'm not a Packer or Brewers fan, and I don't deer hunt. I like to watch PBS and listen to NPR. I like folk music, classical music, new age, and selected songs from most genres. Exceptions are acid rock, heavy metal, rap, and screamo. My all time favorite movie is Forest Gump (I identify with Forest being stuck on a woman like Jenny). I prefer cooperation over competition any day. In our relationship, I will not vie for power or control, and I won't accept that from you either. We are co-creators. I am allergic to cats. I am not a player and I don't do "games" (either giving or receiving). I don't mind SOME baggage (we all have some) as long as you don't swing it at me or poke me in the eye with it.
[Another footnote: About cats. Why is it that 99.99% of single women have cats (there's a joke out and about about that). Cats that they would NEVER think of giving up, not even for a relationship with a human being. Make no mistake; though I'm allergic to them, cats ARE okay. And they CAN BE important to you. But I say to myself (and sometimes to you), softly and gently and with sympathy; if all you have is a relationship with your cat ... or if you listed your cat as the first thing you couldn't do without in a question later in this profile ..."Get a relationship." ... Think about it before you judge me.]

Affection is an absolute must with me. "Physical contact" is fun. "Physical intimacy" brings joy and connectedness. I need to be connected in a working and warm relationship in order to be physically intimate. I am open to many kinds of relationships along life's path - and "casual sex" does have a place in human experience - but sex takes on a different meaning when had with someone with whom you share intimacy. For several reasons I will never be a stud - but I can still be physical. Not everyone has learned the art of making love - which assumes you have "made relationship," another art. Part of the art? Enjoying bringing your partner joy. I believe that compersion can subjugate jealousy. (That's not misspelled.) I have a desire to learn and experience Tantric sexuality.

What else do I want in a "girlfriend?" I want a woman who Cares with a capital "C". If you really Care (in the global and inclusive sense of the word), all the rest of those words that are used so often that they have lost their meaning aren't needed. I am involved in my church and in several social justice organizations. I would like someone who has a passion for SOMETHING (including but not limited to, our relationship). I have noticed after reading (literally) thousands of women's profiles on many different sites that (other than the "racy" ones where a well hung male is all that is asked for) the number one desire from women is a sense of humor. I don't quite understand that. It FAR outranks things like honesty (though that is common), or affection or compassion and a whole bunch of other things that would be more important to me. For me, honesty is important, and that is not just telling the truth - but being who you are / genuine. This can be difficult at times, for you are a different person when with different people if you do really Care with a capital "C." I would put compassion second. I have slight dependent personality tendencies that would be more comfortable with that. Other things like affectionate, and maybe bubbly would be nice as well. Being a "progressive" - the new "politically correct" word for "liberal" as I am - my partner would need to be open minded. I think I have a lot to offer the right woman - but I KNOW that there are many things about me that make most women run for their lives.

My idea of a first date might be a picnic at Maribel Caves County Park. Then laying on our backs in the grass and "finding" things in the clouds in the sky. End it with a hug (hugs are very important and you can learn lot from them). Another good choice would be lunch (in a fast food establishment for budgetary reasons) where we could talk to our hearts desire about everything from soup to nuts (how about that for a phrase you haven't heard for a while). And if everyone is on the same page - I don't rule out sex on a first date. Yet I recognize that that is NOT for everyone.

Oh ya. God. Most people would call me an atheist. And it’s true that I don’t have a person someplace that I can relate to. But I think I have a God. My current definition is “the source of my ability to nurture.” And yes, my God does have things to “say” about how I am doing sometimes. I really think I and folks like me take a bad rap when it comes to spirituality. This site calls people spiritual who believe firmly in a "God." God only SOMETIMES has anything to do with spirituality. Some extremely spiritual people (take some Buddhists for example) have no "God." Spirituality to me is closer to grokking various aspects of the human condition than believing in a God. My thoughts anyway. :)

Know that I WILL NOT compete for power or control or superiority in the relationship. And I won’t accept that from you either. We are co-creators.

If you think you might like to get to know me, contact me. If not, good luck in your search. I am a better person when I am in the right relationship(s). May we all find the loves of our lives.

Michael

P.S. #1) There is a question early on on this website as to whether “To [me], is abortion an option…” There is no greater conundrum in my life these days. These situations are SO complex. People oversimplify the alternatives ridiculously. I am on NEITHER “side” of this as an issue as it is framed today. I am neither (or perhaps both) pro-life nor pro-choice (it ain’t that simple). I respect life. I respect choice. I skipped the question. I skipped other questions where no choice comes even close to my point of view. If you need to know - please ask.
[I am thankful that they have added a space for comment for these questions. That way you can explain your real thoughts and feeling about a question.]

If you have ANY questions about how I answered other questions, or would answer them, or ANYthing else, ask away : ) .

P.S. #2) Having just begun this adventure of finding a partner(s), I have come to understand why so many profiles I read have a clause about being friends first. I feel a different kind of closeness to some of the women I have gotten to know trying to find a "mate" now that we are "just friends." It's actually nicer.

P.S. #3) I’m just a little bit kinky. I love being tied up by my partner during sex. And I like tying my partner up during sex. For men - having an orgasm while bound well is I think the closest thing to a “whole body orgasm” that women sometimes have. I particularly like to be tied up thoroughly. Some people like “light” or minimal bondage. Some don't like it at all. I would be open to TRYING other kinks with someone to see how I felt about them. No one should have to do anything that they find repulsive, unpleasant, a turn-off, of even unsatisfying.

I am warm, sensitive, and introspective.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
What I’m doing with my life?

I struggle sometimes with depression and anxiety, to the extent that I am disabled. I live on a meager income from Social Security Disability Insurance. Thus I am NOT climbing the corporate ladder. I am however very serious about personal growth and what the Buddhists call being in “right relationship,” with myself, others, and the world. I am NOT AT ALL a religious fanatic, but I am what I call spiritual and I regard many things (including human relationships) to be sacred. As I said in my self summary, I am involved with my church and several volunteer social justice organizations. With my personal growth initiative and my organizational involvements I keep pretty busy. Any personal growth of significance requires periods of hard work, as well as periods of rest. And volunteer organizations have a rightful reputation for taking as much time as you are willing to give them. I do what I feel capable of doing to further the cause of humankind. I maintain my own car for economic reasons. I am an example of a biPolarKoalaBear. I can be a secret slob or a compulsive neat freak, but have trouble finding the middle ground. (An area for personal growth?)

Though disabled, this last couple of years have been perhaps the best of my life as far as remediation of symptoms. Hence my seeking a partner(s). I attribute this upturn to the acquisition of coping and social skills, and perhaps some very positive developments in my life. Should my symptoms recur I would not expect anyone to honor commitments made to me during my “good times.” I would still be (I think) a very nice person, but I would not be a joy to be around. And as I said in my self-summary … joy is sacred too. And I would want that (joy - in at least some of it’s MANY forms) to be a part of our relationship.

What else am I doing with my life? This is a time of growth in relationship skills for me. I am learning to be a better person, a better friend, a better participant in our society, and most recently, a better lover. This last task I am finding to be the most elusive. I am lost in how much is intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical in non-sexual ways, and physical in a sexual way. I suspect the last bell won’t ring dismissing the class until I’ll be in the ground. And speaking of being in the ground … this is also a time in my life when I am starting to think about how to best die with dignity. I am repeatedly upset by the fact that our society doesn't assist people with that concern. So many of us are running scared from that part of our life cycle. And - not to criticize - but so many of us don’t have time given society’s demands upon us to deal with it. But this is not a proper topic here.

I have never been married, so I must be some combination of shy, a toad, and socially incompetent. :) On the other hand this is also like the wonderful first day of my life. An even greater loss for me than not being in a relationship with Jenny from Forest Gump, is not currently being in relationships with children. I think about it sometimes, but I believe most people would assume I was dangerous pervert. I'm not in case YOU are wondering.

Something I hope I am doing and continue to do until I decide to say goodbye is evolving and growing emotionally. I love to learn (almost anything) and self knowledge (as well as other knowledge and relationship knowledge and ...) is always welcome. I believe that’s what spirituality is all about.

So much for what I am doing with my life.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
This one, like some others, is a work in progress.

I'm really good at missing things that are obvious to others, but also noticing things that no one else does. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm alone. Sometimes that feels good. Sometimes it hurts. A friend of mine posted a saying on facebook that I like recently. Something about being alone not being the worst - but being with a person that makes you feel alone.

I'm really good at understanding how mechanical things work, but I sometimes miss the mark with people. They are SO much more complicated.

I'm really good at checking my answers and work before I submit it/them. In fact I might be a little OCD about it. (smile) When it comes to figuring out how I think and feel, it sometimes takes me a while to get it right. Then sometimes people get impatient with me.

I'm really good at "turning children on." All it really takes is giving yourself the license to interact with them at their level. I think I'm pretty good at respecting children as real people too. It's so rewarding to have them "be there" with you if you're just there "with them."

I'm really good at compromising in most matters.
I'm really good at standing firm in a few.

I'm really good at giving hugs. First of all - I really like doing it. And on the receiver's end, I have gotten numerous compliments on my ability to do it warmly and genuinely. (It usually feels good for me as the giver as well.)
[Kissing I confess, I don't understand. What feels good (or perhaps sexy{?}) about sticking your lips against someone else's. I've never experienced it. Thinking about it right now (this minute) - I must be missing something. I experience it something like a handshake. Maybe you could teach me ALL about it. Wouldn't that be fun? It COULD be.]

I'm really good at ... I'll add more when I come up with them.

I am NOT good: At reading. I LOVE to learn - but reading is hard and tedious for me. I think it has something to do with the cognitive processes I learned when learning to read as a child. I "say" the words in my head as I read instead of just cruising along and seeing and "taking in" the meaning of the words. I envy folks who read well and rapidly. And I know I am not the only person with this problem. Nothing was known about this when I was a child. Certainly it has impacted lives, even though it's rarely talked about.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Physically:
My penetrating blue eyes (I can sometimes see into people's souls.).
My warm smile.
And, I imagine something I can't see, not even in a mirror, ... my bald spot. (And yes, people mention that to me too.)

Socially:
I am quiet and reserved.
I think before I speak.
And I listen intently.
I very much wish I could put "bubbly." It's such a joy to be with people who are just enjoying the process of living. One of my nieces is that way. I love spending time with her. Life just seems better. Unfortunately, her factory job is slowly killing her. :(

Mentally:
Most people think I am way smarter than I am. I have average intelligence (even though earlier in my life it WAS quite high - mental illness and medications for it and ECTs have all taken their toll).
I enjoy the profiles on this (and other) sites that show intelligence and creativity. Some of these things are just plain amazing! After the fun however, I usually feel as if I wouldn't stand a chance with the individual as a partner and move along.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Hmmm. Where to start? I see most of this question as useless. Often I will just skip over it. So for those of you who have labored over enumerating your favorites - I apologize profusely. What I have found is that everyone of the thousands of profiles I have read list tittles and authors and artists, almost none of which I recognize, and which are different than any of the other women's lists of tittles and authors and artists of which I also recognize none. I am assuming that if I listed MY favorites - they would be different than the other guys' lists and that you would recognize virtually none of them as well. I don't see the point.

One thing I have discerned is that the number one most often mentioned favorite book among women is "To Kill a Mocking Bird." I'm guessing it was required reading in high school literature classes. I personally (to answer a question that has a little more relevance) prefer textbooks to fiction unless the fiction presents some commentary on society (like "The Help" {that one is on all the book shelves in America right now - so you should at least have heard of it - Oct '11}).

Foods?
I'm a little weird here. First of all, I will eat any nationality's food that tastes good and "feels" good. You say, "say what?" I believe I don't always taste food very well. I think that's because I don't smell well due to allergies. So I key in on the texture of food a great deal. I like certain textures. e.g. I like instant pudding more because of the way it feels than because of the way it tastes. I hate watery soups. Etc. A few sure bets: Tuna casserole with peas and crumbs on top. Things like coleslaw and alfalfa sprouts (cold). [Now that I think of it ... temperature is important too.] Coffee is both watery and hot. Ick! The solid chocolate but not the fluffy stuff. Tender, lean meats (nice and soft and no fatty crap, euw). Ice cream (most all flavors) without very hard pieces of anything in it. [I hope you know I'm making this up as I go.] Bananas are good too.

Music:
I can say something about this. I dislike acid rock, heavy metal, screamo, and rap. I like folk music, classical, and new age. There are a bunch of forms of music for which there are names that I have never heard of before on this site. I don't know what to say about them.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In the Bible it was 70 times 7. (times you forgive your neighbor)
This is going to be 60 times 6. (things I can't do without) (just kidding)
And I'm not a Bible freak, junkie, thumper, or even believer.
....

Emotionally I can't do without family and friends, smiles AND frowns, affection and warmth and generosity, laughing AND crying, ... joy (of thousands of varieties) AND pain (of thousands of varieties), ...

Physically I can't do without air and food and water (preferably "clean") and warmth (I am frequently cold) and shelter and sunshine and touch and proprioception (You get to say "say what?" to that too (just like to "compersion" in my self-summary (No, that's not compassion mispelled. Try Googling it.)).)

Mentally I can't do without books and language, people's thoughts on things, some of my senses, culture, time to process things, ...

Joy-wise I can't do without sunshine or the color green or wind chimes or hugs or children or tuna casserole or custard filled chocolate iced long johns or ...

To make social commentary: I couldn't live as a full person in this society without a computer and a car. I've tried, and I couldn't do it. You can't communicate in a timely enough fashion, and you haven't time to engage the world (you spend it walking, biking, and busing). [To say nothing of not being able to get on a dating website. lol] And in case you are wondering, this DOES fly in the face of my idea of utopia and social responsibility, but I haven't found a way around it yet.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
First of all - I spend a lot of time doing this (thinking).

Since I've begun this dating stuff, I spend a lot of time thinking about what constitutes beauty, in a person, and in a relationship; physical, personal, spiritual, ... . Also what the nature if love is. And I think about what the nature of genuine security is in a relationship. I also realize I am very confused about beauty. Attractive - beautiful - lovely - pretty - sexy - ... How are these all related? What do they all mean? Oh - and handsome - etc. ...

I also spend a good deal of time thinking about how I might "consolidate" my various life roles so that I will feel less "scattered."

I suffer a good deal of stress in trying to figure out how to live simply and still participate fully in our culture. I hope they aren't antithetical.

I'll think some more about what I think about and stick it in here when I think of it, okay?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am an empty essay - please fill me out. :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Hmmm.
Sometimes I think I'm too feminine (even effeminate).
No! I'm not transgender, no female in a male's body stuff going on.
No! I'm not a cross-dresser, no desire to polish my nails, wear lipstick, have pink or white lace and frills on my clothing, walk in heals, or any of that stuff.
I definitely find females attractive.
I don't have a high pitched voice.
I work on my car and get greasy.

But I sometimes think I am TOO warm and sensitive and gentle.
One woman on this site was good enough to help me with my essay and she said she felt as if she wouldn't be able to "push against" me without "knocking me down."

I've been thinking though. I think I stand up pretty well for my right to be gentle. And that's not always easy. No one can push me around THAT way. And I think I could be a little rough with a woman who wanted it played that way during certain activities we might engage in. On the other hand, during those same above mentioned certain activities, I wouldn't mind being been rough with once in a while either.
On the third hand, gentle is beautiful too.

I think the gentleness actually turns some women very "off."

Private enough for you? I notice not to many women put anything in here. lol

OR ...

Maybe I should have just said that I have really ugly feet. I take my socks off only to shower. If you have a foot fetish, you might want to pass me by. lol

OR ...

I sometimes cry at movies.
I root for the child when it is trying to get an inattentive parent's attention.
It's true - I don't let people see my feet.

OR ...

Stats:
For those interested in the physical stuff.
Age (Nov 10, 2013) - 61
Height - 5' 7"
Weight - around 180 lbs (but working on (and will) get that down to around 155 lb)
Waist - 38" (but working on getting that down to around 34" (no double standards - the thin criterium applies to me too))
Inseam - 32"
Shoe size - 10-1/2
Eyes - blue and warm, astigmatic (that means that if I look at that beautiful full moon above us without my glasses, it will look like a football) and require trifocals
Hair - light brown
Teeth - all visible ones present
Preferred room temperature - 72*, and if the temperature falls below 70* at night and I only have 27 blankets on, I will wake up shivering
Thinking noise level - 0% (and I spend a lot of time thinking)
Multitasking - incapable (I like the Buddhists :) )
Fallback facial expression - pensive
Hands - average - warm looking
Fingernails - bitten to end of finger
Flatfooted
"Equipment" - average - requires Viagra, et. al. - hence more costly to operate than a "quicky" (Now ladies - take that in the spirit in which it was meant)
And I think that was private enough for now.

But I'm told that that's not what women are interested in.

My observation? Without a doubt, the number one thing asked for by women is a good (or even great) sense of humor. This amazes me ... more than intimacy or honesty or affection ... things that I want ... women want a sense of humor. I'm STILL (2/10/2014) trying to figure this one out.
Mine - I approach most situations seriously, but if I see that it's humorous (without being cruel), I can get into it more readily than the average guy.

OR...

Something I just thought of (4/2013).

If I were to pick one word that would describe me - it would be unconventional. I am NOT your average guy. I WILL challenge you. Standing within 10 feet of me will challenge you.
Not only am I an atheist, mentally-ill, disabled, poverty ridden, polyamory sympathizer, who is slightly kinky - but I believe capitalism as it is practiced today is the greatest evil in the world, and that the creationism should be taught in school, as history, some ancient theory of creation that we now know better than to take seriously, and Columbus DIDN'T discover that the earth was round, etc., etc. I'm not a member of the flat earth society either.

Oh - and the devil isn't running around hiding dinosaur bones to "trick" us into believing in evolution either.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You should massage me if you want me to melt beneath your loving hands … to relax and sink into the surface below us ... to be yours forever. You should massage me if you want me to know that you feel like giving me a wonderful loving gift. If you want to get closer to me. I WILL happily return the favor. I will stroke you lovingly until you can no longer raise yourself or any part thereof from the surface upon which you lie. To me, a good massage is better than sex, even better than an A & W root beer float. To the woman who can give me the best deep tissue back massage, will go my heart. :)

What's that you say?
Message?
Oh.

Yes - you should message me if you grokked at least a few things in my profile.
If you understood empathically what I was saying.
If you said or felt "yes!" somewhere along the way. ...
YOU’LL know if you want to contact me.