Per a fortune cookie, I'm "always entertaining and delightful". Key word there is "always".

I am a good Jewish boy who moved to Hollywood, the city of dreams, chasing his dream to work in that crazy business they call show as a comedian and a comedy writer. I was perhaps subconsciously influenced by that scene at the end of the Muppet Movie where Orson Welles as a studio exec draws up "the standard rich and famous contract for Kermit the Frog and company". (Who knew that only happens in puppet-related situations?)

My screen-name is a character Groucho Marx played in the movie Day at the Races since the ladies love 70-year-old movies.

I am funny, smart, and responsible

Computer programmer. There was an Onion article "Day Job Officially Becomes Job" (where an artist realizes that his "day job" is his "real job") which is how I feel. It's a good job and I'm not complaining. As the old joke goes about the accident victim who was asked if he was comfortable, "I make a nice living".

I still dabble in comedy but at this point, it's a hobby.

Double-takes and impersonating Lou Costello being afraid of stuff.

Google-fu.

I make a homemade fudge that will knock your socks off. (This is not an exaggeration; you will want to invest in a spare pair of socks.)

Favorite Books/Authors:Mark Twain, Philip K Dick, _Godel Escher Bach_, Daniel Dennett, P. G. Wodehouse, _Catch 22_, David Sedaris, Harlan Ellison

John Swartzwelder was one of the better writers on the Simpsons. He has since been self-publishing these great novels that are like reading an insane Simpsons episode

We're in a Golden Age of Comix Reprints and lately I've been reading Lil Orphan Annie, Popeye and the works of John Stanley. I'm also reading 50-to-60-year-old MAD magazines on my iPad.

Movies: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World, Wizard of Oz, Airplane, Casablanca, Animal Crackers, Marx Brothers, Laurel & Hardy, W.C. Fields

TV Shows: Police Squad, Dick Van Dyke Show, SCTV, Simpsons, Bob Newhart Show, Phil Silvers, The Muppet Show, South Park, Ernie Kovacs, Mad Men, 60s spy shows

I keep seeing Twilight Zone listed as a favorite show. If it helps my case any, I have all five seasons on Blu-Ray which includes the Westinghouse Desilu pilot (never before available on home video!).

Cartoons: B&W Popeye, Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies

Old-Time Radio Shows: Bob and Ray, Jack Benny, Dragnet, Gunsmoke

Friends
Family
The love of a good woman (Although I guess techincally I am doing without it).
Books
Movies/Turner Classic Movies
The ability to count to six

I recently got new flatware but now my dishes look like junk compared to it. So I need new dishes. Also science shows that if you use smaller dishes, you tend to eat less.

UPDATE: They apparently don't sell smaller dinner plates. Meanwhile shopping for dishes makes me feel deprived that I don't have matching saucers for my coffee cups (I'VE BEEN LIVING LIKE AN ANIMAL!!!1!)

UPDATE 2: I bought new dishes. "Antique White" china. I'm now looking for desert bowls.

Considering buying a house/condo what with interest rates so low and so forth.

Actors Frank Nelson and Charles Lane.

What? Would it kill you? It's free here to message. You can't afford not to!!!

(A few years ago, I would have written as a joke "If you've sufficiently lowered your standards." But ya know what? To hell with that. There's no damn reason in the world why you wouldn't message me.)

Also my new job has no deductible for spouse/family health insurance. Seriously, you need to get in on this!