Allow! Are you for Scuba? If you are for Scuba I am for You!...

Sorry, I had to! My buddy got his scuba certification after years of watching me freedive spearfish and all either one of us can think about is that hippopotamus story scene from the movie 'Along Came Polly'... lol

Anywho... I have been called Indy due to a habit of mimicking the Indiana Jones look while doing the outdoors adventure thing (plus the kids I used to teach when I was a Ski Instructor and the many many many people I interacted with on the mountain loved the act and it made distinguishing me and remembering my name for them so much easier... lol), my basic adventurous lifestyle, and my high speed Indy car/Rally car style driving. I have a funny-loving / pilot / astronaut / adventurer / toys'r'us kid / Mel Brooks mentality, yet i can be serious and responsible when need be. But for the most part i am of the mind that what kind of life is this unless your enjoying yourself and having fun?!...

What kinda describes me is that Sci-Fi channel show FarScape character "John Crichton", and the movie Spaceballs.

I like to lead myself outside the short-sighted complacent idiotic drudgery in life. I don't want to be corralled by people who make sheep-like choices and lead monotonic lives who think that their short sighted views of life are whats best for all of us...

I strongly believe that the "Nanny State" government should be boiled back to a libertarian society based off of the original draft of our constitution instead of people who are basically communist liberal dictators telling us how we should be pend-up sheep.

Ok.... I have taken some odd tests and i find that the writers of said tests are idiots... I MIGHT die from some mutated squirrel that set a trap for me, but i'm pretty sure i'm going to (if at all...) die in a fiery blaze of an aircraft who's wings have ripped off and is plummeting down to earth from some stupid yet fun stunt i was trying... or a spacecraft i built and involving the same aforementioned situation.

Oh... The spacecraft bit? I'm not a geek, I just have a bit of an aptitude for engineering and would like to start my own Aerospace company. I figure nobody's going to just let me fly the really interesting aircraft doing the really interesting things, or allow me to be an astronaut because i don't fit their picture perfect candidate. So i figure i might as well have my own company and build them for myself, allow myself to do what i want with my new big toys, and of course, sell the rest to pay for such an expensive hobby.

Also, as much as i may like the answer "42" for life, the universe, and everything, it has nothing to do with any form of my real or imagined age.... I have always been, and always shall be, a responsible when necessary, yet eccentric, and yet even more predominantly, a fun loving toys r us kid!

Boiled down, i'm basically a big cuddly adventurous Polar teddy bear. Think: The Coca Cola Polar Bear wearing an Indiana Jones outfit going for the FarScape/Buck Rogers thing... and jovial all the time. Plus something that you can cuddle with, and feel completely safe with.

Oh, I love dangerous adventure, but i'm always looking out for those around me. So no worries there, but i'm looking for somebody out there that will finally have my back as well...

Ok, i'm out of breath... are we there yet??......

What i'm CURRENTLY doing:

UPDATE 11/9/09: I just recently started a new job as a Photo Voltaic module testing and tinkering technician. Which basically means I test, abuse, short circuit, smash, burn, cook, freeze, and all around basically destroy Solar Panels sent to my company by companies from all over the world to certify that the said solar panel specifications are accurate, that the company has the "idiot don't stick your finger in the power junction box" stickers in place so that the idiots in life won't hurt or kill themselves...... Personally I say we ban idiot warning labels like "caution, coffee may be hot" from being used in society so we can laugh, start handing out Darwin Awards, and enjoy the freedom of a smarter and more relaxed society free of "the idiots need us so we will control you too and make you suffer as well nanny state"............

This part is older...: I have an acting profile out there so that I might get my 15 minutes of fame...

http://www.realitywanted.com/member/id/101538

It's free to go here and vote for me and i could use all the help i can get to get into Hollywood!...

Otherwise...

I was in the Army. At one point i was a bouncer at 'Chad's Place' and a children's ski instructor in Big Bear, California. I took a barrage of emergency medical classes as part of my training for search and rescue which will give me the chance to do the world wide adventure hero stuff i always wanted to do, but that's currently on hold at the moment until I re-certify my training.

Oh, and trying to keep my squeaky rubber chicken from getting hurt during my adventures and while going down mine shafts... He doesn't like the peril like me, i love dealing with the peril, especially when the peril is signaled by a grail shaped beacon... BAD Zute! BAD!! Go to your room for your spanking and oral sex! Oh wait... wait for me!

If you didn't get the reference, go to my room, watch 'Monty Python's: Search for the Holy Grail', and wait for your spanking and oral sex.

old UPDATE: The Irish Clan McFion slaughtered my rubber chicken and put him on a pike. During a drunken suicide night op., Jones was caught sitting on Lord McFion's throne, wearing his armor, and drinking his Guinness. I will miss that rubber chicken... Oh well. Time for a new one from Spencer's.

No, i'm not nuts. lol

I am an improvisation actor a few times a year for a close to home fun vacation/hobby. I perform as a noble English knighted ship captain center stage with Queen Elizabeth's court and as one of the main characters on the battle field at several renaissance fairs here in southern California. See some of my pic's.

Also:

www.GoldCoastFestivals.com

and my groups website (St. Elizabeth):

www.GodSaveTheQueen.org

New UPDATE 11/9/09: I got a new rubber chicken. There was a flying screaming monkey, but that's a whole other barrel... Anywho, People groaned, laughed, and cried when 'King Cock' (King Kong, and King Julian from Madagascar reference... I know it's Fowl, but somebody had to go there...) poked his head into the scene the past two weekends. It was so infamously epically hilariously bad the last time I brought a rubber chicken to a faire event while wearing a kilt that people groan and run (even though the start smiling and laughing) (ESPECIALLY those originally involved in that fateful night) every time they hear or see a rubber chicken or hear the phrase "But...... have you seen this man's pants?!??.....".

In fact. It was SO bad that my chief puntner in comedy that night brought me a female rubber chicken this last weekend of Faire (to the horrified yet smiling dismay of his wife and his amused but lethal daughter...) to start up another tastelessly Fowl pun session..... The damn thing actually had a pokadot bikini on... lol

camping, rugged outdoors stuff (would love for REI to sponsor me!), flying, sailing, skiing, freediving, spearfishing, Darts, playing chess and Pente at the same time while watching TV, Texas Hold'em, Black Jack, making people laugh, playing Dr. Katz for my friends, and and and... and theeennnnn....... voices and impersonations...

Ok.... Even though i think i sound off and the dog tends to howl when i play, Rock Band (for the PS3 and Xbox) thinks i'm an expert singer so my friends have made me their singer for all their bands.... and yes, my friends dog really has howled sometimes when i sing...... it's bad, but too funny to stop... lol

Ok, update... Same singing situation, but for American Idol on the PS3 and Xbox. The damn game thinks i can sing...... My friends want me to sign up for the real American Idol...

My dashing, sexy, intelligent, manly, secure with myself, understanding, fun loving, great with kids, sexy rubber chicken personality?...

Oh,

(I just read a profile that shiversmetimbers! and reminded me about this)

and my tendency to do shanghaied Dread Pirate Roberts stuff.

BOOKS:

will be entered when i'm awake, too many to list but basically Sci-fi action adventure comedy types, as well as a few classics... The Magician series, The Stainless Steel Rat Series, Callahan's Cross Time Saloon Series, The Vorkosigan Saga, The Midshipman series, Star Ship Troopers, Sea Wolf, Twenty Thousand leagues Under the sea, Shakespeare's Julius Cesar, the Janissaries series, .........

MOVIES:

Sci-fi action adventure comedies!

I think EVERYBODY should be forced to watch Idiocracy until they understand it's predictive correlation in regards to our Romanesquely deteriorating society. Plus it's just F'in hilarious!

MUSIC:

Most rock like Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, etc..., and modern rock or modern alternative rock. Also trance or trance rock based non-emo crap / non-scream and growl crap type industrial music like a few of Paul Oakenfold's songs, blur's 'woo hoo' song, and Monster Magnet's: (i think thats the name) 'Look to your Orb For The Warning', Raummstien, Rob Zombie, ..... you know, that pulsing 'driving real stupidly fast type crap' (WHAT!?!... I can't help it if i think Freeway Slalom should be turned into an Olympic sport!).

I have recently been getting into softer trance rock like 'Motorcycle's: 'As the Rush Comes', and a bunch of Massive Attack's later music.

I also wuss out and listen to Enya, Emma Shapplin, Loreena McKennitt, or any other female siren luring me to my death... or the Ren-fair type group 'The Poxy Boggards' which have crude rude lude and stupid drinking hall songs.

FOOD:

Sushi, Sashimi, Orange Chicken, Sweet'n'Sour Pork, Lobster, Shrimp, Scallops, crab or imitation crab dipped in garlic butter, ... sorry, i just got back from a cruise today and was fed all that lovely sea food and soooooo much more good stuff and now i'm thinking Chinese food..... *drool*

Of course a good Hefeweizen Beer, combo pizzas, Double Western Bacon Cheese Burgers, Creole, Italian, German, Peanut butter and chocolate whatever, Rum, Mead, honey Barron Jaeger, Di Saronno, cheesecake, eggs Benedict, French toast, soft peanut butter Hershey Kiss cookies, Cost Co's Teriyaki Beef Jerky,.... ok ok ok i have to stop! I'm starving and about to drool on the keyboard! I'm going for cheap plentiful Chinese takeout! Anybody care to join me?...

Basically... I'm X US Army, i'll eat just about anything. I'm one of the few that actually LIKED the MRE's.....

I enjoy trying new things and would love to go with that big bald guy from that food travel show who travels around the world eating everything and anything. (I stop at bugs and testicles though... lol)

A kick-my-ass-when-necessary Valkyrie-like faithful loving woman (Well..... Since i don't currently have one, i seem to have a problem. Care to rectify this?)

Knife (i'm a survivalist)

Cell phone

Spike Seasoning (Got addicted to the crap in the Army. Can't be helped)

A Rubber chicken (you just never know when a rubber chicken will come in handy......)

Freedom

How the hell to match my current wardrobe to the kilt im now wearing more frequently...

The reactions i can get from completely random total strangers with my squeaky/screaming rubber chicken.

The Aerospace and aquatic marvels i will someday be building and playing with like Tonka toys.

Alternate power sources so the government, yuppies with money, and those insane hippies led by Darryl Hanna can't stop me from playing with the fore mentioned adult Tonka toys...

Dark Hair, Large Breasts, and that look she gives me that says....... WHHHAAAAAT?!? I'm a guy! I'm allowed! It's natural for me to think these things!!...

Heading out in my kilt to go nightclubbing with friends. Your more than welcome to come with....

Or you could keep me home with you...

Or...

I've finally talked my friends into yet another something crazy to do like night spearfishing or spur of the moment bonfire camping trip, skiing trip, i need to go anywhere to release some energy cause i'm going stir crazy trip!

........or just sitting at home watching my favorite sci-fi shows, watching movies, or playing Socom III Combined Assault on the PS2 online.

Playing with squeaky rubber chickens in public is fun.

or

Women who are in command over me like a squad leader, non-com, officer, etc... (But i am a hell of a leader so you have to work at it!), assertive women, and/or are armed are a hell of a turn on! The sultry thing works too.... as long as your still outdoor aggressive. I'm looking for someone to come out and play with me and give me a run for the money, not a little miss home-maker type.

and

One time in band camp... j/k.

After both of us drinking all night at the bar i bounced at, my gf at the time and I had sex in the middle of Big Bear Boulevard (Big Bear Lake, California) in front of a fire station in about 10 to 15 *F weather with snow on the ground... and DON'T think of me as a pig! It was HER idea! ...I just didn't say no..... ;) lol

If you are a woman who can: kill and skin a snake while doing the ruff and tumble mountain trekking thing; do any other adventurous whatever; Fly by the seat of your pants type; sail like that Aussi guy from the movie 'Along Came Polly' or that girl from that movie 'Wind'; and loves the snow.

And/Or If you are a toys 'r' us kid.

And/Or if you are amused by rubber chickens or kilts.

Or if you are just amused...

Or if you just want to......