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ICanDefineMe

33 F Bozrah, CT

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 25–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Apr 16
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Anything
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from two-year college
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
As recently updated, I am seeing someone, but I'd like to maintain my profile strictly for friendship, as, over the years, OKCupid has brought me some great friends. I'm not looking for a date, but activity partners is totally cool.

Online dating is, honestly, the most interesting form of advertising there is. You are selling yourself, hoping that the highest bidder will meet whatever criteria you are looking for as well. No one would respond to an ad that says "My closet is a walk-in and my baggage comes with a seven piece set and matching makeup bag and dress carrier." I'll be upfront...my closet door is pretty much left open, so if you want to see inside it, ask. I'm cleaning it out at the moment. That's actually why I am living in Taftville at the moment...to make hard choices about where I am in my life and where I am going. I started that journey later then others...but that's not to say I haven't done a lot of journeying in the past.

STOLEN FROM MY OLD PROFILE, WHICH I JUST FOUND BECAUSE SOMEONE MESSAGED IT:
*********I HAVE A CHALLENGE FOR YOU:
WILL BE COMPLETELY HONEST... you can ask me ONE question (only in my inbox). Any question, no matter how crazy, sinister, or wrong it is. I WILL answer no matter what. You have my FULL honesty, but I DARE you to put this on your profile and see what questions you get.*********

Second challenge...when you message me the question, also message me ONE random piece of information from my profile. This way I know you took the time to read it. It might be long, but there's useful information in it, about me. If you tell me you've read all of it, only for me to find out "It was too long", you will quickly be cutting ties at conversation.

Random facts about Jen:
*I smoke (cigarettes) and drink. The first to excess, all the time, and the second, not often, but when I do, I do it well. If either of these facts are an issue, please...move along. I will admit that I am trying to cut back on my smoking…but I will not quit to make anyone else happy. If I do it it’s for my own health reasons.
*I am a nerd. Not a dork, or truly a geek, though I do have some geek-like tendencies. I read like an addict, play old school video games (I still have my Gameboy, PSOne and N64, and am currently looking to acquire an Atari and NES) and, while I do not play like I used to, think that Scrabble is the greatest game ever.
*Life and death, and the line between, are things that I tend to be far too versed in. Most people will never understand this; they think, on some level, they do, based on the deaths in their own lives…I am frequently flippant about death…it is a defense mechanism. I am aware of this. But don’t ever, even jokingly, say I don’t know what it’s like to see death first hand…because when I tell you I have seen every stage of it, have held more than one person as they have passed, it is not a joke. Does death frighten me? No, though the dark does…and if that statement makes any sense to you, then you have my permission to skip the rest of the profile and just e-mail me now and tell me what you think it means…if you’re right then we are on an entirely different level.
*I am a klutz to an embarrassing level. This translates into if we are going to a movie, or strictly going to dinner, I might wear heels because I like to look taller than I am. However, if we are doing anything that involves walking, standing, dancing...I will be in flats. Hell, during the warmer months, if we're going to a park to walk, or going to the beach, you can bet I'll be barefoot. I hate having my feet covered.
*Barefoot or not, I ADORE all of the dresses and skirts in my closet. Give me a good reason to wear them, please. My concepts of fashion are…totally not what some would expect from a girl like me. I am big on comfort, but love to look pretty…getting dressed takes longer then the shower and putting on makeup does, and I will often change three, or four, or five times before going out the door, even if I’m just going to the grocery store.
*I know a lot about specific things, yet nothing about other things. This means that if you talk to me about something I actually know about, I can be very talkative. Other things, though, while I will happily listen, my lack of commentary is not disinterest, it's trying to not look stupid because I do not believe in pretending I know what I'm talking about, only to look dumb. I will ask questions (I am capable of fluid and intelligent and engaging conversation), I just may not have my own opinions.
*Beauty is skin deep. That being said, I recognize that being a plus-sized girl, I might not be what you are looking for. If I message you, it does not mean I want to date you (goodness, I’ve said that a lot in this introduction, but I feel it’s important to repeat at this point), it means that something in your profile made me think we could be friends. In dating, though, I realize that, at least initially, there needs to be some physical attraction, and will be blunt enough to say “Sorry, you are not what I’m looking for” if you approach me to date. It does not mean, though, that we cannot be friends, and sometimes friendships develop into more than that.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to figure that out.

In the meantime, knitting a lot, working on a manuscript, trying to find my place in the sun...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Until recently, adopting strays. People, animals...lost souls. I cannot, for now, continue the trend.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My laugh. It's loud...and somewhat careless. Not a mistaken word there, because I DO NOT mean carefree.

Physically, the fact that I look like an adult trapped in the wardrobe of an angsty teenager...and that my hair, despite being too straight, always looks like it has a mind of it's own. And that I desperately need my bangs pulled out of my eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm a huge "Big Bang" fan. Also, once a year, I set time aside for myself and watch all seven seasons of "Gilmore Girls" in order.

I desperately want to see THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER.

While I have few deal breakers, I will say that something I have learned the more I date/meet people is that if you have no interest in movies or books or writing, then we will have nothing to talk about. We do not have to have any common interest within any of these areas, but at least the ability to talk about why we disagree on favorites, etc., will give us something to talk about. These three things are not my sole interests; they are just things that consume a lot of my time and energy.

Music: It would take forever to list everything in my mp3 player at the moment. I'm always looking for something new to listen to...so feel free to send me a message that simply reads "check this band out"...but I will google any artist you mention and will give it a listen.
If pushed, though, I will admit that Aaron Lewis is a god in my eyes.

Movies: to list them all would take forever...some of the more life changing ones include: PLAYING BY HEART, BROKEN HEARTS CLUB, BEST MEN, SWEETHEARTS, GIRL INTERRUPTED, GIRL, AMERICAN BEAUTY, AMERICAN PIE (the first one not all of the cheesy follow-ups, though they were funny, just not amongst the FAVORITES), HARRY POTTER (all of them, and it is important you see the movies as a separate entity from the books), LIFE AS A HOUSE, MYSTIC RIVER, the classic 80s movies (LEGEND, LAST UNICORN, 16 CANDLES, THE PRINCESS BRIDE, THE NEVER ENDING STORY, LABRYNTH, TEEN WITCH, TEEN WOLF, BACK TO THE FUTURE, PRETTY IN PINK, BREAKFAST CLUB, CAN'T BUY ME LOVE, SAY ANYTHING, etc), HOW TO MAKE AN AMERICAN QUILT, STEELE MAGNOLIAS, STELLA, GARDEN STATE, FAN BOYS, PETER PAN (the 2003 version is my favorite, but I actually love the story line and tend to over analyze it far too much), BEACHES, REALITY BITES, HIGH FIDELITY, CHASING AMY, JERSEY GIRL, DOGMA, CATCH AND RELEASE, SHREK, LILO AND STITCH, RENT, AVATAR, THE LAST SONG, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU, NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST, EASY A, GOING THE DISTANCE, LIFE AS WE KNOW IT, BECAUSE I SAID SO.

Books: I used to list a whole list of favorite books here, but it's admittedly exhausting to do that.

Food: If I'm at a place where I know the desserts are things I will eat, I ALWAYS order my dessert first. No, it's not a REMEMBER ME nod, it's a thing that I've learned through life...if something happens midway through my meal, I want to know that I enjoyed the best parts of it. I also love to cook, but hate cooking for just me. I would love to be able to cook for a house full of friends, but my current apartment doesn't really allow for it.

Games: Rummikub, Scrabble, Canasta, Phase 10, Monopoly, Apples to Apples, Jenga and Imagine If. (Re-learning to play Cribbage at the moment.) If you have a smart phone, I'm "pueriledreams" on Words With Friends.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Pandora
2. My black Falcor hoodie
3. Family (which is a loose term used to define an eclectic mix of strays and lost souls that I adore)
4. Djarum cigarettes and Peach Tea
5. My phone, but that's somewhat includes Pandora
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think Zach Braff cursed me, because I keep wondering "If Dorothy gave me her shoes, where would they take me when I click my heels?". You get bonus points if you know what the Braff reference is about.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Trying to redefine that now.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm trying to learn to cook...again. Once I learn a dish, I master it. But until I get there...I have been known to burn the outside of pancakes and have them raw inside. It's like many things in my life...I am really bad until suddenly I am really good at most things I learn to do. It's just having the stamina to stick with it until I get good, because then the benefits are amazing.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think the idea of coffee and conversation for a first date is more appealing then a drink and sex.

You want to make me laugh.

You appreciate brutal honesty, yet will let me decide what and when I will tell you more about me.

Additionally, make sure you spell check your profile. Not a grammar Nazi, but a million typos will make me insane. If you define yourself with a word, know that you mean that word and not one of it's synonyms please. Oh, and if your profile says "Hit me up", or, even better "HMU", do not bother. If I was looking for someone to hit, there are other websites for that. (I know the expression, and use it, but I'm not looking for a man childish enough to advertise how hip he is to the lingo of teens in his dating profile).