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IMakeBadPuns

29 M Astoria, NY

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Education
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
A major movie producer wants to make a movie about classical music and, amazingly enough, all of the biggest stars in Hollywood wants to be in this movie.

Ryan Gosling comes in and says "I'll be Beethoven" and like that, he was cast as Beethoven...then Ryan Reynolds came in and said "I'll be Mozart." The producer again loves this idea and casts him as Mozart. Then Arnold Schwarzenegger comes in and says "I'll be Bach."

Basically, if you laugh at this joke then you will completely understand me in a nutshell.

My Facebook statuses are 90% terrible puns. If you can't laugh at corny nonsense then move along.

Anything else then just ask
What I’m doing with my life
I teach English to foreigners who are here for a few months on the campus of Mount St. Vincent in the Bronx. It's an awesome job and I feel like I'm contributing important and useful knowledge that will help them in each of their lives. Certainly not for the pay.

My day consists of correcting errors like this:

Picture: Crying baby
Directions: Using MIGHT HAVE/MAY HAVE, describe what is happening in the picture

Student: The baby might have jizzed himself
Me (through bouts of laughter): You sure you mean that?
Student: Oh shit. I see what I did. The baby might have peed himself
Me: Much better. Thought we were going to need a biology lesson
I’m really good at
Saved By The Bell trivia (really it's shameful)
Finding the forgetful 90s songs that everyone else forgets about (I'm looking at you Geggy Tah- Whoever You Are)
Recommending awesome foreign movies no one watches because it has subtitles
The first things people usually notice about me
I can hold a conversation about many different things and that there will be not be any awkward downtime. I am well-educated and have many interests so the conversations will come easy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I read non-fiction books. Usually about history but I like reading all non-fiction books.

Movies are tougher. I watch all movies but my all-time top 5 are Back To The Future Trilogy (I consider all 3 a giant epic), The Usual Suspects, Almost Famous, Pulp Fiction and Who Framed Roger Rabbit...but seriously I watch basically everything and rarely turn down any offer or suggestions.

Shows: Archer, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, The Wire, Deadwood, Homeland, Boardwalk Empire, Treme, The Americans and really want to start Borgen (the Dutch House of Cards) soon but need to find the time for it

Music: Too many to name

Food: All types
The six things I could never do without
My Yankees season tickets

Telling incredibly horrific jokes

Believing that new albums by artists I know suck would somehow be good (wait, there is a new Goo Goo Dolls album...I must listen to that. 50 minutes later...that sucked)

Seeing most movies

Over analyzing OKC profiles ("on a Friday night I like to go out with my friends or stay in". Well no shit you like to go out or stay in. Not many other options

An iPod fully stocked with Zack Attack- Friends Forever and Jesse and the Rippers- Forever. If only Step By Step had a music episode
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How everyone says they like staying in on Friday's yet no one is ever on this site when I check

How everyone in their question "what do you want right, now a relationship or sex" and everyone puts sex while in their profile says they don't want people messaging them for sex

How Arrested Development was cancelled if every single person on this site watched it

Other odd trends on this site
On a typical Friday night I am
out doing something. It doesn't matter what but it's the best city in the world and there's always something to do
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have an on-going list of every movie I have seen. As of writing this I am at 3,462. By the time you read this it will be more.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–31
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
There is no reason why you shouldn't. If you do, I'll give you one free pun on the house.

If you think Curtis Mayfield's Move On Up is the greatest song ever made

And if you can admit that this is awesome:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBb9hTyLjfM

In all seriousness, I will respond to any and all messages so go ahead and send one