33 Fairport, NY
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My self-summary
I kinda wish I could get a look at the guys on here to see what I'm competing with so I can better calculate my chances with you fine lady-folk, but I'm not devoted enough to that cause to create a fake female profile.

Yes, this is how I choose to summarize myself.

Also, I'm pretty certain I'm going to be a dapper old man. I don't know where else to put this on my profile.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm just working, but I'm also a pretty decent singer/songwriter and I'm trying to play out at open mic nights more. For proof: michaeljensen.bandcamp.com maybe you'll dig it.

I work at a day care but I'm also searching for a new career path. I'd love to teach older children. I'm a natural teacher; naively wise, if there is such a thing. But at this point, who knows?

I'd like to own a coffee shop/restaurant/bar one day.
I’m really good at
Analyzing things that don't pertain directly to my life. I'm also really good at misinterpreting minor social interactions that do directly pertain to my life and yet have a negligible bearing on it.

More measurable things I'm good at include singing (seriously), writing, teaching kids about things. I'm great at saying things like, "Let's not bring FDR's legs into this," when someone tells me one of my jokes is "lame". I'm good at telling lame jokes. I excel at empathy -- I'm so good, in fact, that for a day I thought I might actually be an indigo child. I'm really good at making reference to things that people generally won't get, not because those references are too highbrow or something, but because they are outside the realm of genuine interest... say, indigo children for instance.
The first things people usually notice about me
I don't know, people say I'm handsome… also they'd probably notice that I'm not bald. My friend says I have a perfect hairline.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite books: Sirens of Titan, Me Talk Pretty One Day, The Giver, Gene Wolfe's The Book of the New Sun.

Favorite movies: Buffalo 66, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Shawshank Redemption, Schindler's List. I've been more interested in documentaries than scripted stuff lately... The Cocaine Cowboys was pretty good, Restrepo, Korengal. Oh, and I like Justice League and other DC comic animated movies... I'm a dork. The stories are often simple but I like to see how characters are reinterpreted and how the imaginings of so many people evolve into a massive universe full of life (albeit completely imagined) and mythology.

Favorite music: Peter Gabriel, Bon Iver, Elbow, Tool, Pinback, Radiohead, Pearl Jam, Led Zeppelin, Vivaldi, Mozart, Dvorak, Beatles, Beck. There's too much stuff to mention. But I've been listening to music less and messing around with it and creating my own more lately.

Favorite food: I like breakfast stuff the best, eggs and sausage and the like... or a nice, manly quiche. Quiche is great. I do not like vegan food, or I should say I don't like vegan food that is meant to look and taste like regular food - for instance vegan buffalo wings. I do however like vegan food that is what it is, for instance, asparagus. I'm trying to eat healthier, one day I'd like to eat all organic food and have a great big garden and own chickens and stuff. It's important to me but with my upbringing and current situation, it's kind of hard. I'd love to meet someone who cares about where their food comes from, is aware of the pitfalls of navigating a healthy lifestyle, hopefully manages those pitfalls far better than I do… and they should know what Monsanto is.

TV: Nova, Nature, PBS specials, I watch Tosh.0 sometimes but I'm not really proud to broadcast that. The Walking Dead, Adventure Time… yes, I like that cartoon show loosely intended for children, it's a fascinating, post-apocalyptic world they created despite it being very childish... look at me, defending my tastes to people I don't know. I sort of liked Breaking Bad, but it made me sad to watch it, you know? Heisenberg is just a jerk. It's hard to root for a jerk, unless they don't know they're being a jerk like the protagonist in Buffalo 66.

I also love the Comedy Bang Bang podcast. It doesn't really fit the other categories but I wanted to mention it. Stand up comedy is something I'd really like to try but that scares me a hell of a lot more than singing in front of people. So I really like comedy specials and podcasts with comedians like Comedy Bang Bang, or maybe WTF with Marc Maron. Some of my favorite comedians are Dave Chapelle, Bill Burr, Louis C.K., and Craig Ferguson.
The six things I could never do without
Sleep. I love to sleep. Not due to laziness, I just like what my mind sees when I sleep…. for the most part anyways. Sometimes I have a really bad dream, like when Pope Benedict tried to kill me and his face turned slightly more evil looking than it already looks. I don't know where that one came from, but it wasn't fun. There wouldn't be 5 other things.

If you're looking for a more serious response, then my six things would all be immaterial as I'm growing more and more averse to material possessions. I'd choose family, friends, music, intelligence, humor, and the knowledge that what we really truly know is as limited as our reach.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How absurd humanity is, how short our collective memory is, how quick we are to react, how easy it is to manipulate us. If there were some kind of advanced alien adjudicators deciding the fate of humanity, I think they'd rule against us simply due to that mechanical, singing, mounted bass from the 90's or so, never mind the wars and crimes against humanity. For a brief moment, that invention was the culmination of all human history. If I think about that too much, it makes me sad.

Fortunately for me, I also think about a lot of stupid stuff. For instance, at thanksgiving once, my mother was telling my aunt that there was a wine or tea or something she had tried called Sugar Bush, then I said to my brother, "Wasn't that your nickname in high school?"
On a typical Friday night I am
Listening to *NSYNC's song - you know the one - the one about how it's Friday night and they just got paid. I think that's as deep as the song gets. I don't actually do that, I just like the imagery of a grown man sitting down, enjoying some good scotch, his ankle resting atop his knee as he swirls the golden swill under his nose. He contemplates the complexities and nuances of the song and always seems to find something new as he ventures into richer and more fulfilling layers of it. It's funny because that song is stupid.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I didn't learn to blow bubbles in my bubble gum until I was 26 or so and I still can't roll my Rs. I'm told some people have a gene that makes rolling Rs nearly impossible, so I suspect I'm one of them... but I also take it as a monumental failure. It's the reason I'm such a perfectionist, to compensate for my inability to roll an R.

I'm good at the French R. But anyone who's had phlegm is good at that.
You should message me if
If you're confident you're smart. I don't always sound smart, language can be a bit of a false indicator of intelligence and I tend to like to use simple language while speaking, and honestly, I never read much growing up and still often don't, even though I greatly enjoy it when I do. Basically I'm apologizing for the fact that I have to look up words like "egalitarian" just about every time I encounter them. I didn't know "piqued my interest" wasn't "peaked my interest" until I was maybe 26. I usually forget what "verbose" means and that's not even that rare a word.

I remembered what verbose means about twenty seconds after I edited this, and given the length of this profile, it's kind of ironic.

Anyway, what I want more than anything is someone who can make me laugh as much as I make her laugh; whose smile makes me smile; and who can help me stay positive, because I will easily be able to do that for her while doing it for myself can be trying at times. I'd like someone who is reasonable and kind. I'm an emotional person but I try to be reasonable and work things out. It's easier to be reasonable with reasonable people. But I will NOT FUCKING DRINK MERLOT!

Remember Sideways?