Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

I_use_words

28 M Melbourne, Australia

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:00pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Is writing about how difficult these things are to fill out cliched enough to be done ironically? If so, I'll start with that.
I'm the worlds most sociable misanthrope. I absolutely love a crowd, but love pulling a few people aside to make fun of the crowd even more.
I love to go out dancing but almost exclusively at gay bars even though I would describe myself as pretty not gay. This is for a number of reasons:
1 - most of my friends who enjoy a night out dancing, happen to be gay so I go where they go.
2 - I find people at gay clubs tend to have way less sexual hang ups so dance floors there are actually fun instead of just gross sweaty meat markets.
3 - There's nobody there that I would want to sleep with who would also be interested in sleeping with me. That Venn diagram is just two lovely, big, separate circles. Which suits me great since the idea of seducing someone through dance is so hilarious it makes me vomit with anxiety and turns my limbs into giant rigid turbines of awkwardness. So if we ever do go dancing and I'm not a terrible flailing mess, you will know that it's either because we share a deep and soulful connection and there are no boundaries between us or I'm just not attracted to you. Good luck figuring out which!
Insects in clever human outfits need not apply.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm just starting to get my first breaks into writing TV which is what I've always wanted to do. I can't believe I'm actually getting paid to tell cartoon characters what to say.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh at things they normally wouldn't and getting dogs to like me. Although dogs like everyone so maybe I'm not that special.
Tell me I'm special. It's basically the only reason I'm here.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My voice. I always sound sarcastic even when I'm not trying to and it leads to many hilarious misunderstandings. If you find the idea of people being offended unnecessarily hilarious, that is.
That or my hair. Seriously, it's like half my personality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: A Confederacy of Dunces, John Dies at the End, The Stand, Save the Cat and American Psycho
Films: OldBoy, Ringu, Perfume, Children of Men, Shaun of the Dead
Music: Cake, The Deftones, Soul Coughing/Mike Doughty and The Chemical Brothers.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Thats a weird question.

Why six?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why certain things are funny. If anyone has any theories on why watermelons are inherently funnier than apples I'd love to hear it. But if you're going to try to tell me that they're not, you can go to hell.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...altering my OkCupid profile so it doesn't have as many lame, cliched answered in it. What's that? It's Tuesday? Then screw you profile questionnaire! Now I'm free to go out dancing on Friday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You know that moment when you're at the movies and the trailers have finished and the lights go down? Well that moment usually sends a shiver and a feeling of warmth through me that is so strong, it makes me think I love movies more than I could ever love another human being.
That and all my weird sex stuff, of course.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you want to push back against the patriarchy! Internet dating was supposed to level the playing field but still so many people cling to the idea that a woman can't make the first move. I'm rapidly running out of ice-breakers. Don't make me repeat them, it cheapens us both.
Or did I just admit that girls hardly ever contact me first? Either way, say hi. I promise it wont destroy your reputation.