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Iamsoalternative

39 M Benicia, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Law
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a big ol' role-playing, BDSM-y, polyamorous, Unitarian Universalist geek. I live in Benicia, with my roommate, Wegmans and spend a lot of time playing Rock Band with john_ca and lavenderdragnn.

That's right. Everyone I know is on OKC. Weird, right?

I have been polyamorous for much of my life, but I'm crazy busy, so rather than jump into anything, I'm looking mostly to get to know people and make friends. If something grows from that, awesome. If not, friends are good anyhow.

I am politically active, a leftist, and a feminist. I contribute to a feminist group blog.

I can run an excellent Call of Cthulhu game that will freak you the heck out, even if you're not normally a roleplayer.

I ride my bike 10-15 miles a day, and my calves are like iron.

I am a hairy mofo.

I am an agnostic-leaning-atheist Unitarian Universalist.

Robert Anton Wilson once made me a Discordian pope, though of course this was unnecessary.

I am a large person, broad of chest, muscular of limb, mighty of thews, and chubby of belly.

I look damn fine in a utilikilt.

I am kinky and dominant, and I have the OKC tests to prove it.

I don't believe that pornography must be exploitative by nature, although in our misogynist culture, it so often is.

I feel bad about it, but generally if the cops are on one side of an issue, I'm on the other.

I am the proud parent of three ducks (Esther, Crowley, and Aziraphale) and a cat (Percival). The ducks give us eggs, but the cat has yet to do anything to justify our continued support.

I believe in the oxford comma.

I am still in love with people who have died.

My judgment in matters romantic is for shit.

I'm on Fetlife and, though I regret it, Collarme.

I am thoughtful, sensual, and geeky.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
After spending far too long bouncing from crappy job to crappy job, I am returning to school, having made the fateful decision to become a lawyer.

My grandparents were lawyers. My dad's a lawyer. I guess I could only resist for so long anyhow.

Other than that, I'm looking for work, playing entirely too much Rock Band, arguing politically online (I CAN'T come to bed! Someone's WRONG on the internet!), organizing our local role-playing meetup, and exploring local farmer's markets for tasty things.

Oh, and I regularly attend Bawdy Storytelling in SF. Holy crap! So good! Go to Bawdystorytelling.com for more info.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Communicating. I enjoy words. I firmly believe that no matter the relationship, whether it's romantic, sexual, platonic, or whatever, good, open communication is key to making it work.

Planning adventures! I'm all about finding cool out of the way spots to explore in the Bay Area.

Cooking. I love to cook, I love to bake, and I love to cook for an appreciative audience. I have a no-knead bread recipe that will blow your mind. I have a vegan pasta sauce recipe that is similarly mind-blowing.

Sex.

Playing Rock Band Guitar, as long as nobody brings up the goddamn orange button. Fuck the orange button.

Spanking people who like to be spanked, tying up people who like to be tied up, and flogging people who like to be flogged.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am aggressively friendly. It's kind of a way of dealing with social uncertainty.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
1) I read a lot of fantasy and science fiction. Neil Gaiman features prominently. So does Guy Gavriel Kay. Also Charles Stross, whose 'Glasshouse' features one of the best covert critiques of the patriarchy that I've ever encountered. Oh, and, though they're not precisely books, PodCastle, PseudoPod, and Escape Pod are great listening, and Rachel Swirsky is tha shit.

I believe strongly that George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series is a feminist work, and would love to discuss it with you.

Graphic Novels! Blankets, The Watchmen, The Tale of One Bad Rat, and The Sandman.

On the non-sci-fi tip, Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt are awesome, and (though I'm not all that fond of 'The Ethical Slut'), The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book are practically required reading. Susie Bright is up there too, along with Tristan Taormino.

Of course, nobody ever went wrong reading a whole bunch of Kurt Vonnegut.

2) Harold & Maude, Casablanca, Rosencranz & Guildenstern are Dead, I [Heart] Huckabees, Secretary, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, almost anything by Miyazaki, City of Lost Children, Pan's Labyrinth, Hedwig and the Angry Inch

3) Jason Webley, Garfunkel and Oates, Dar Williams, The Decemberists, Regina Spektor, The Indigo Girls, Billy Bragg & Wilco's recordings of unreleased Woody Guthrie songs, Madaket, Ani DiFranco, Feist, Brandi Carlile.

Vocal jazz: Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Holiday, Louis Armstrong and Nina Simone (Mississippi Goddamn and Pirate Jenny: holy fuck, dude.).

The Beatles.

4) Oh man, I love good cheese. And bread. I could eat nothing but good cheese and good bread forever.

The Cheese Board is my friend, and The Cheese Board Pizza doubly so.

I've been trying to become a pescatarian lately, but barbecue keeps sucking me back into its tangy, fork-tender grip.

I love fresh fruit more than almost anything.

Thai food and Ethiopean food have special places in my heart.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A good book, a good conversation, a good lover, good food, good friends, and the internet, which is good too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
"When you punish a person for dreaming his dream, don’t expect him to thank or forgive you."

I spend way too much time thinking about politics. I try to do my best to focus on some of the underlying issues rather than getting sucked into the horse-race nature of the thing, and to remember that the only reason I give a fuck, and the only reason *anyone* ought to give a fuck, is because these abstract debates have real effects on real people.

I spend a lot of time thinking about sex, both in a, "it gets me hard and I like orgasms," kind of way, and in a, "I need to analyze this stuff and how it relates to consent, agency, and bodily autonomy," way.

I generally spend a lot of time thinking about and preparing for the next game, too. There's always a 'next game'.

What the fuck is wrong with me?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing guitar with our sold-out-in-Reykjavik (Rock Band) band, 'Zombie Kitten.'

Plotting.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once accidentally swallowed someone else's vomit.

Oh wow. Too private?
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You seem cool, and I've managed to trick you into thinking that I'm cool.

You're a dork, and you appreciate that I'm a dork.

You'd like to be friends and maybe see if something more develops.