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IdesofSmarch

33 / M / Straight / Single

San Francisco, California

His Details

Last Online
May 7
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m).
Body Type
Thin
Diet
—
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
—
Sign
Aries but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Artistic / Musical / Writer
Income
$70,000–$80,000
Offspring
—
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I was frisked by Uwe Boll at the San Francisco film festival, hung up on Harlan Ellison (accidentally), and won the free passes to see Foghat at the Nassau Coliseum.

I'm oftentimes missing, and presumed pantsless.
What I’m doing with my life
My business card reads "Vanguard for the People," and I'm sticking to that story.

Also, I write things such as grammatical butcheries, threatening letters to cereal companies, and an essay on man as written by a toilet plunger.

I routinely plead innocent of all charges.
I’m really good at
Writing. Discovering the secrets of cold fusion and then displacing that information with Simpsons quotes. Performing the finger of death maneuver (a distant cousin to the finger of infinite pleasure). Using the Internet to find exclusive offers for hot, horney honeys and really cheap rates for printer ink and, apparently, winning the UK National Lottery.
The first things people usually notice about me
My halo of awesomeness. Plus my lemony fresh scent. Also that I have the ability to wholly disbelieve I Can't Believe it's Not Butter is, in fact, butter.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Dortmunder novels as done by Donald Westlake, Can't Anybody Here Play This Game? by Jimmy Breslin, Christ Stopped at Eboli by Carlo Levi, and just about anything by Richard Wilbur, Elizabeth Bishop, Bill Pronzini, or Harry Turtledove.

Movies: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World; Mystery Men

Music: AC/DC, Mojo Nixon, Warren Zevon, Monster Magnet, etc.

Foodstuffs: Yes, please.
The six things I could never do without
Love, hope, friendship, oxygen, that delightful baboon's heart, and laughter.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why there are no video games where the car drives you.

Also, unicorns.
On a typical Friday night I am
In with the in crowd. Or out of sight, out of mind, man.

Sometimes I am neither here nor there. Once in a while, I will be in the house when the house burned down. (Apologies to Warren Zevon).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm hoping this leads to something beyond carpal tunnel.

Oh, and that I heart unicorns.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–45
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You know the answer to the riddle of steel and love to laugh about it.