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Idontownafedora

23 M Wilmington, DE

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–27
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:41pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Student
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Non-Threatening Boys Magazine cover model

Ok ok ok ok ok! Forget all this stupid garbage below this is all you need to know about me: I was watching the new Orange is the New Black season and Piper was sad and drinking a 40 of Colt 45 Malt Liquor. I was drinking the exact same Colt 45 40oz while I was watching the episode. I started going bonkers, "Pipes fucking gets it!".

So that was me last night (well at time of writing. Who has time to rewrite their profile everyday? Lots of people probably). I wrote a bunch of stuff for this profile awhile ago, but who gives a shit? I was drinking the same 40 as sad prison furlough Piper. That was the coolest I ever felt in my entire life. I feel like I should remove all this nonsense about my college major, being a feminist Leftist ex-sad boy, going to the zoo, and other details of my life because it's all just irrelevant compared to drinking the same quality hops and malts as Piper.

WARNING! BORING LIFE DETAILS APPROACHING!

My name is Mike. I'm an idiot asshole bike delivery boy. Graduated College.

BORING LIFE DETAILS FINISHED. Fun part of profile resumes:

The whole OKC thing wasn't getting me the best matches until I answered the "Has capitalism made the world a better place?", and made the mandatory response a "no". Now I get really good messages from the right kind of people.

I met the saddest dad ever in a gay bar in Wilkes Barre last month. I'm not sad, nor am I a dad.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Is there a word for the feeling you get when you're listening. to an album in the woods and the album features forest sounds (like chirping birds and shit) but the album ends and you think the real life cacophony of sundry woodsy sounds is part of the album???

^^^ That's what I'm doing with my life ^^^

UPDATE SCHUMPDATE

I'm a bike delivery boy in Newark. I deliver things on my bike, I don't delivery bikes to people. I deliver sandwiches to drunk college students. I like my job. I get paid to bike around and make a lot of money in tips. People give shots and bong hits for tips sometimes (If you're my boss and reading this that was a joke). I guess that means I have to change my answer in the super fun question section about droogs

I used to work at a sandwhich shop and give away a frankly irresponsible amount of free food (if you're my boss or a nark can we pretend this is also a joke? It isn't but please pretend) Before that I taught swim lessons at the YMCA.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Knowing when someone is going to say "but" after paying a compliment or saying something like "I support women's rights", or "I'm not racist".

Critiquing corporate culture (recovering Marxist). Basically I get sad and upset when the prepackaged meals section at my Food Lion is called "Meal Solutions". It can't just be called "Meals". Mr. Marketer decided that I have a problem. That problem is not having a meal.

Using my solutions-focused problem solving skills, I deduced that the solution to my problem of not having a meal would be a meal solution, which I can find located in the "Meal Solutions" section of my local Food Lion next to the "Bread Creations" aisle.

It's the same thing with printers. You can't buy a printer anymore, only "printing solutions"

^^^I'm getting better alright^^^

Telling stories about Sad Dad (proper noun, not my actual dad. My parents are surprisingly well adjusted. My brother runs the Philly punk scene, I'm the Leftist ex-sad boy par excellance that we all know and love, and my sister is in the Peace Core. How could such normal folks make these fucked up fringe kids? Yeah the brackets part is longer than the normal part. This is officially an avant-garde okc profile. Divorce yourself from the bonds of what you thought a free dating profile could look like).

I think I'm good at writing. If I'm not good a writing I'd have to say I'm really good at literally nothing of value.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My gwasses. They were the same kind that Malcolm X wore. After this I get into a long conversation about Malcolm X.

I got to explain to a bunch of 6th graders who Malcolm X was in a McDonald's.

I don't wear clothing with words on it. Hurumph!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
BOOKS: I'm reading this one book about this pizza guy who carries a bunch of swords. I mostly read sci-fi garbage nowadays and it's been way more pleasurable than the classics. I'm looking at you War and Peace.
Dorian Gray all day everyday

Movies: Synecdoche, New York (incomprehensible nonsense but I love it), Woody Allen Films, weird indie shit like Wristcutters (It's one word!). That Danish animated film "Princess", Big Money Rustlas (no really). Anne Hall.

Webcomics: I have been very into webcomics as of late; most notably Hark A Vagrant by Kate Beaton and Winston Rowntree's Subnormality.

Music: Most of my friends are musicians. That's not entirely true. Most of my friends are clerks, delivery boys, groundskeepers, coffee makers, assistant librarians who sell their T-shirts at free shows .

You get the picture. I'm not a music dan. I'm just some dweeb who rides his bike around Newark all day.

This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xijqzPxOq0Y&list=SPB453B84AA4015A93
You cannot comprehend the nature of my love of Ke$ha.
Seriously though, Owen Pallett and all this other violin stuff

Food: I eat a lot of Tomatoes. I'm vegetarian, but not one of those vegetarians. I know how pizza works.

NPR: I listen to Fresh Air with Terry Gross erry day. She's my waifu.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books
Ebert and Siskel. They're great.
Naptime
Going outside way too late on my bike to buy $1.79 in candy
Hark a Vagrant
Anime (is for children)
Zoo
Internet access from McDonalds
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Portmanteaus: the combination of two words into one like sex and exploits becoming "sexploits". Or relax and chill becoming chillax. Enormous and gigantic becoming ginormous. Wait, these are terrible. Don't use them. You can still use "sexploits" tho.

All mom-activist groups.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Only drinking with other cool people
Bereft of inhibitions
Always tipping well
Making the most of my time on earth
Assiduously working on my OKC profile
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I use the words "yolo, swag, and hater" quite a bit.

I really wanted to make my okc name Obamafan69. Why didn't I do that?

I am slowly turning my profile into a joke.
I wish this wasn't happening.
Just take everything I say 50% serious and 50% ironic and we'll get along fine.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can explain to me what the hell okcupid means by "activity partner". This is not me trying to be clever. I really would like to know.

Politics/capitalism/society at large has gotten you down and you want to vent at someone. I know the feeling, it can be cathartic.

You can explain what the hell Synecdoche New York is about or the show Fooly Cooly (FLCL) is about.

You hate fedoras and don't hate but just get kind of jibbed out by people who wear them. No haters please.

You have a really cool user name and it would enrich my life to see it.

You think my profile is brilliant and you need to let me know how great I am.

You share my taste in bad movies.

You would be willing to grab a drink (or cola) sometime, after we exchange some messages and establish our mutual relative non-psychopathy.

You can explain to me what the "used up" body type means and why I picked it. I weigh 180lbs.

iunno, just for giggles. I'm not taking okc that seriously.