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33 M Denver, CO

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:51am
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
When drinking
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from two-year college
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats

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My self-summary
I like to live on the fringes of society, picking up the bits and pieces of our culture that often get left behind and forgotten. There's a lot of goodness out there, ready to be plucked and savored by eager minds. But when something worthwhile falls through the cracks, who is there to catch it, preserve it, and propagate it? I am.

I am a SubGenius, a Discordian, a Zenarchist... and an Eagle Scout.

I am a media fiend, a slacker, a pirate, a geek, a comedian, a jerk, a dork, and a fool.

I am passionate, apathetic, spiritual, agnostic, valiant, cowardly, loving, spiteful, humorous, somber, intelligent, foolish, benevolent, malicious, honest, deceptive, true to myself, and hypocritical.

I am different, just like everyone else.


You want factoids?

I'm left-handed, yet I do athletic things right-handed.
I'm an introvert who tries to be an extrovert.
I love to perform, except on stage or in front of a crowd.
I'm frequently compared to Buddha; very Zen personality.
I'm pansexual, but primarily attracted to femininity.
I seem to be blessed with "beginner's luck" in most games.
I'm a nerd who's not really into superheros, sci-fi, or anime.
I enjoy video games, but not RPGs or sports games.
I dig board games and D&D, but not card games like Magic.
I have tattoos and piercings, but I won't pierce my earlobes.
I'm not an alpha male; I see myself more as a Medicine Man than a Chief.
I love comedy, but my profiles always sound dry and clinical.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm re-establishing myself in a new place. A year after moving from Wisconsin, I already feel fairly comfortable in Colorado. I have made a couple dozen friends and am generally happy with my direction in life at the moment.

If I wanted to be pretentious, I would say that I aspire to be a modern-day bodhisattva, spreading enlightenment (or at least laughter and positivity) wherever I go.

On a more mundane level, I am currently employed in the IT field. I work for a great software company that I'm proud to represent, and I make a modest living doing something I enjoy.
I’m really good at
I have many skills, some of which currently pay the bills.

I have a broad sense of humor and a quick wit. I play with language and accents a lot.

I may not be a licensed medical professional, but I like to think that I have an excellent "bedside manner".

I often add a bit of flair to normal everyday movements, as if life were some kind of performance piece. I like to juggle, but I'm not particularly good at it. I'm good at a decent number of things, but making people laugh is one that I enjoy the most.

It's recently been pointed out to me by different people who know me well that I am an empath; I'm extremely empathic to the feelings of others. I don't feel it like some kind of supernatural force or anything, but I guess I pick up and respond to little details. A typical Cancer, I've been told.
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically, probably my beard, piercings, and expressive face. Or my loud Hawaiian shirts, or my strange t-shirts. Or that, despite my girthy midsection, I do not waddle or lumber like many overweight people do. No, I glide... I move with a skill and grace that some might find surprising.

I try to project positive energy and I generally have an engaging personality. I'm pretty good at making people feel safe and at ease, so I'm told.

I can be easily amused or excited, and I'll talk endlessly about completely insignificant things with undue enthusiasm. I laugh out loud about funny thoughts that pop up in my head. Sometimes I share them with others...

I've been introduced as "one of the realest mothefuckers you'll ever meet" because of my down-to-earth nature. I love to joke around, but I can easily drop my guard and be candid if the situation calls for it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors: Ray Bradbury, Robert Anton Wilson, R. Buckminster Fuller
Books: World War Z, the Book of the SubGenius, Franz Kafka, socio-political commentary, metaphysics, humor

Books that have Influenced Me: "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind", Shunryu Suzuki. "The Illuminatus! Trilogy", Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson. "Prometheus Rising", Robert Anton Wilson. "The Celestine Prophecy", James Redfield

Movies: Office Space, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, Neverending Story, Goodfellas, Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Weird and experimental movies, Comedies, Documentaries, Zombie movies (mostly recent ones). Virtually anything directed by Tim Burton (bonus if the score is by Danny Elfman!, most of Kevin Smith's movies... tons more...

TV: Adult Swim, Comedy Central, ALF, Pee-Wee's Playhouse, Hell's Kitchen, The Office, South Park, Sarah Silverman, Seinfeld, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Wonder Showzen, sketch comedy in general. There are a lot of shows I enjoy, honestly. Lists, they go on forever.

Music: Good music is that which evokes a strong reaction. If it doesn't make me want to dance, sing, make love, or smash something, I don't want to hear it. I dig: Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, Devo, Oingo Boingo, Talking Heads, The Misfits, Gary Numan, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, TOOL, Rammstein, Rage Against The Machine, The Beastie Boys, Radiohead, Blues Traveler, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Reel Big Fish, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Chris Ballew (Presidents of the United States of America), Beck, Mindless Self Indulgence, Tenacious D, B-52's, Big Wreck, Space Age Pop, Muse, Tweaker, Sublime, Simple Kid, Hidria Spacefolk, Huey Lewis and the News, Kilroy, Mr. Bungle, Pere Ubu, Blue Man Group, The Black Keys, The White Stripes, Kraftwerk, bitpop... and so much more!

Comedians: Eddie Izzard, Bill Hicks, Emo Philips (seen live), Mitch Hedberg, Andy Kaufman, Steven Wright, George Carlin (seen live shortly before his death), Bobcat Goldthwait, Jerry Seinfeld, The Amazing Johnathan (seen live), Brian Regan, Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, Zach Galifianakis, Louis CK, Todd Barry, Lewis Black, Ron White (seen live, although it wasn't my idea)... many others. I'm a huge fan of stand-up comedy.

Video Games: I consider myself a casual gamer*, but there are a lot of games I really enjoy and can sink some time into: Thief (series), God of War (series), Tony Hawk (series), Katamari (series), Guitar Hero (series), first-person shooters in general, some fighting games (Tekken, Mortal Kombat 1-3, Virtua Fighter), PSP-exclusive games (Loco Roco, Work Time Fun).

For some reason, I despise video-game RPGs like Final Fantasy (the gameplay is dull and it takes forever to complete), but I DO play D&D tabletop games. I've played a few 3.5e & 4e campaigns. I have also learned to play Munchkin, Settlers of Cattan, Small World, and M:TG. I own a copy of Cards Against Humanity, which awesome. Even if you don't usually play board games and such, you'll love CAH.

Food: Seafood, Chinese, Pizza, your standard fare. Generally, I'm not picky and easy to please, but I know what I like. I think the one ethnic cuisine I haven't quite navigated yet is Indian. I really dislike curry, and it seems like it's in EVERYTHING.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I like to pick things apart to find the funny... there's little nuggets of humor hidden deep inside just about everything, if you know where to look and you're willing to dig deep enough.
On a typical Friday night I am
I work (from home) on Saturdays, so Friday nights I'm usually getting stoned and playing video games or watching something on Netflix. Sometimes I might go out, but that's usually more of a Saturday night/Sunday sort of thing for me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I shave my head not because I think clean-shaven bald is a great look, but because I've got that classic horse-shoe pattern baldness that's all the rave these days. I figure my only options are short/clean-shaven or rock the Ben Franklin look. So, I mean, which would YOU go with?


It is what it is...
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–38
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If you are awesome, and you think that I am awesome, send me a message. Maybe we'll be awesome together!

Do you like body modification; do you have tattoos/piercings?
Are you GGG, pansexual, and/or polyamorous?
Do you love witty banter, and can you deliver it?
Are you a freak, a weirdo, an oddball, or an eccentric?
Do you consider yourself a creative person?
Are you attracted to humor, whimsy, and novelty value?

If you are any or all of the above, you should message me immediately.