Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Was your last boyfriend's idea of foreplay a six pack of beer and
thirty minutes of begging? Maybe it's time for a change. Apply
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character in some of his greatest adventures!
Now available for a limited time, the Igor comes equipped with many
spectacular features. This finest of Russian imports has lived in
four countries and traveled to many others. Having studied in five
universities in three countries, he graduated magna cum laude from
Washington University with simultaneous Bachelors and Masters
degrees in mathematics, four publications, nine academic
scholarships and all of the necessary awards and accolades. He is
self-employed, having started two successful small businesses. He
is emotionally stable (although he likes to speak of himself in the
third person) and knows how to cook (do you?), clean, and put down
the toilet seat. He exercises regularly and is in excellent shape,
having won the St. Louis Relay Marathon for three years in a row.
He is a good dancer, masseur, and kisser. The Igor has appeared on
local or national news numerous times for his achievements in four
The Igor also comes endowed with a vast database of personal tales
brimming with adventure, excitement, and musings on psychology,
philosophy, and the human condition. Be warned: Some are so
insightful that they may change your view of reality.
By the way, that other guy's profile you've been looking at, I saw
him on COPS last night. He fell out of his car with his pants down
and rolled into a ditch. What a putz...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work too much. Finding balance is often a struggle for me. I am
the proud owner of two businesses, both of which are intimately
related to my life goals:
My ultimate career goal is to develop fully automated
secondary-level math tutoring software that will (hopefully)
someday change the standard of math education in America. I've
already put a lot of effort into this project, but there is A LOT
left to be done.
If that doesn't work out, I can always go back to being an exotic
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I feel I've already answered this question adequately, but if you
would like to get the complete list and have prodigious amounts of
free time, just ask!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I know how to present myself well.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have a large library of personal development books (sometimes
known by haters as "self-help"). I believe that the only way to
achieve true greatness is through a lifetime of working on
I like adventure movies, but they usually disappoint me.
I like techno music. It's good to listen to when I run, it's good
to listen to when I party, and the lyrics don't make me question my
faith in humanity.
I like exotic food. Cooking it, eating it, and looking at it,
imagining how it would feel if I were eating it. Particular
affinity for spicy food. I also enjoy:
Runny, stinky cheeses
Caviar, and curry.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
wild, bizarre adventures
my cat, Yasha. Even though he is kinda stupid, sometimes annoying,
sometimes needy, sometimes mauls my nice victorian furniture, and
is currently licking my collar bone raw, he is still my little man.
I am a cat guy. I hear we are rare.
a companion for all of the above
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Evolutionary psychology. Have we been able to actually transcend
our primitive instincts, or are we just monkeys in suits (or taking
shirtless bathroom pics on our cell phones)? I think that we are a
hell of a lot closer to monkeys than most people realize.
On that topic, if you want to win major bonus points and likely
even score yourself a date with me, answer the following profound
psychological question correctly: Why do most women say that they
want a guy who can make them laugh?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been told that I have an unusual capacity to sexually
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are smart, adventurous, assertive, attractive, ambitious with
something to show for it, and not easily offended. Other than that,
I'll be forgiving of your past.
Ideally, what I am looking for is my definition of a mature
relationship. It is a partnership in the true sense of the word. It
is someone that I can have a loving (but not codependent),
understanding, and trusting relationship with. It is someone that I
can share my personal, career, and spiritual growth with in a way
that we help one another to become our best selves. It is also
someone that I am not afraid to share my weaknesses and
insecurities with and who isn't afraid to share with me. Lastly, it
is someone who I can come home to and who can come home to me after
a hard day of work and we can find comfort, rest, and happiness in
If you feel that you have a lot of the traits described above,
don't be shy, message me! I respect the rare woman who is proactive
enough to actually pursue what she wants, rather than just sitting
back, never risking rejection and hoping it comes to her.
Oh, and more than two cats will raise suspicion.
Who are you looking for?
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