How about a list of metaphors instead? I promise these are observations of myself taken objectively and not just a list of attributes I wish I had.
Body of a linebacker. I'm a big boy with a broad chest and strong arms, I lift with some regularity.
Heart of Otis Redding. I am a passionate man. If you don't know who Otis Redding is, picture John Mayer except black, ballsier and with a voice that slams through your rib cage and grips your spine, forcing you to move your body and feel your heart.
Mind of Charlie Day. I may sound intelligent writing like this, but I just picked up all this jargon while studying birdlaw. There's not really all that much going on up there. Doesn't stop me from believing I'm right all the time though, rest assured.
Soul of a weary traveller. Few things surprise me or stir me deeply anymore. Most of the things that occur in our lives are reminiscent of things that happened before in my summation, is like meh. That being said when that dude ate the other guy's face on bath salts I was like "Whoa." Then when the toxicology report came back clean I went full Keanu on the whole situation.

I'ma student at Wayne State majoring in Broadcast Journalism with a concentration on near-east studies. Trying to learn Arabic currently so if you have tips lay 'em on me. I have two part time jobs, one as a host of live trivia shows at a couple of bars in the 'burbs, the other as a retail clerk in a supplement store. So I'm basically what would happen if Dr. Oz and Alex Trebek banged out a love child and taught it to love all the people of the world. For fun I dig gatherings of friends, karaoke and internetz.

Speaking behind electronic amplification. Goddamn I love that stuff, it makes you so much funnier and more correct than you are in real life. Speaking in general is kinda my forte' actually, I'll talk your ass under the table, anytime, anyplace.

I'm singing part of a song you've never heard acapella, usually repeatedly.

Books: Lots. Brett Easton Ellis, Vonnegut, Huxley and John Updike are some of my favorite authors.
Movies: Lots and growing. Taking a production course right now so I am starting to include fine cinematography in my criteria for good movies. You name it though and I dig it. Mostly comedies, mostly with Bill Murray. The Signal was a great movie too. If you've seen that and liked it, message me just to discuss.
Shows: Ah TV isn't really my buddy. I like The Office, Always Sunny, Arrested Development and stuff that is no longer on the air. Too busy as an adult to care much for this medium of entertainment.
Music: Literally everything. I'm not even naming bands. Current favorite songs include Somone Saved My Life Tonight by Elton John and Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah.
Food: Ethnic, mediterranean mostly.

1. Ability. If I were somehow made unable to perform at my own level physically, mentally or otherwise that would be difficult for me. I want to be the best I can.
2. Friends. Folks just saying what's up or sharing a story. Worth a million.
3. Fuel. Food, drink, inspiration etc.
4. Reddit. It is like the perfect way for my particular brain to get information.
5. Music. There's a perfect song for every mood, every minute of life.
6. A big sense of self. I see bits of me in most things and I love when some concept that I hold dear and personal is expressed in the World. You're never alone while everything is alive and happening.

What's on my schedule and the people I know the best. Song lyrics. Ideas. I don't know, ask me in real time. I'll have something specific and interesting usually.

Out stomping, or playing trivia, or at a show. Sometimes I stay in with the internet all night. Sometimes I have people over to enjoy my awesome apartment and personable cat.

Sometimes...I don't make the best decisions. Don't tell anyone though, this is just between you and me.

Congrats! You made it this far. You deserve this. tl;dr: I'm a good guy, I won't cuss or hit ya. Nor will I put you in uncomfortable positions in front of your friends and family. Nor will I sleep with you you then forget you exist. Hell, I'll be your sexless friend! I don't give a shit! I will provide respectful interest and stimulating company provided you do the same. I will be honest about my intents and not do things that make you feel shitty about liking me if you will do the same. Life can be easy, message me if you believe that.