**My work will soon be relocating me to Tucson, Denver, or Las Vegas. Until then, I'm stranded out in Smalltownsville, Illinois. Population 7. Oh baby.**

Aha! I've got your attention, the OKC battle is now 22.4% over. Whoa whoa wait a second, don't click that back button already! You haven't even read about me yet. Oh.. you have to wash your hair.. Ok, well thanks a lot for stopping bbbbwaaaaaait a minute. I'm not falling for this. You just sit your tush in that seat and read on.

Hi, my name is Jason--

...Your exboyfriend's name is Jason? Oh jeez..

Hi, my name is Guadalupe Del Toro Diaz Rodriguez the Third. ...Good? Phew. It's nice to meet you!

Look, I'll get straight to the point here. This dating website stuff? Complete crap. Quick summary, most of the guys here only care about your profile pictures. If you're super sexy stuff, things like your intelligence, sense of humor, and stability MAY come into the equation.

I know, I know, douchebaggy jerks. You're getting 200 messages per day based on one Halloween picture of you in a bubblebee tutu.

Here's a test:
Step one, make a profile that has a pretty picture.
Step two, write the profile like a creepy mass-murdering stalker who's collecting man dingdongs for science.

Guess what? 200 messages per day. Isn't that horrible? A pretty face that will stab you in the face.. clear winner.

So, I know you're sick of this just as much as everyone else on this site. That's why I'm here to tell you about a limited time offer! For just the cost of gas, you can be among the first to hang out with one of the new and improved Jasons!

Err... Guadalupe Del Toro Diaz Rodriguez the Thirds!

All you have to do is read the rest of this profile, and click the button on the bottom of the page to order now! Although hurry, this offer is only good while supplies last!

Witty introduction, mission successful.
Profile, begin.

I'm one of those comedic creative types. For the last six years I worked as an improv comedian for a show in Las Vegas. If you're not familiar with what improv comedy is, we were essentially a team vs. team version of "Who's Line is it Anyway?" Now, I know the first question you're thinking is "Why the heck did you move to Freeport of all places?" (As this is what EVERYONE asks me when they find out where I came from.)

Well, about four months ago I had a passing in my family, and I ended up moving back to Illinois in order to be around them. Being in Nevada and doing my thing wasn't worth missing time with my grandparents. So, I hung up the reigns, packed my bags, and flew back here to enjoy the many... err.. few.. nice things that Freeport has to offer. I now do freelance web design and marketing for different companies back in Vegas, as well as a few here. Working online and only having family here doesn't allow me a lot of opportunities to get out and meet new people. Thus, this profile was born.

Outside of my experience with comedy, I also act, write, play guitar, and sing (in the car when no one is listening.) I'm not any good - but I like to pretend :). As for my personality, I generally wear a smile for most of the day, make jokes on a consistent basis, and I like to be good company for good people. I'm a hard working guy, and I always keep my engagements.

Making people laugh and coding/marketing websites. It's a nice mix.

Usually my laugh, smile, happy nature, or witty sense of humor.

Books - The Princess Bride, Queen of the Orcs, Sea of Time, 1984, the Night Angel trilogy, The Hunger Games, and a little Dresden Files. I tend to enjoy novels that are in a series. I hate reaching the end of a book and realizing that there's nothing left.

Movies - Anything with Daniel Day-Lewis or Ryan Reynolds in it. Day-Lewis because he's a profound actor. Reynolds because he's an all around bad ass. Outside of that, I like comedies and action movies most of all, with a romcom every so often to spice things up.

Shows - The IT Crowd, Happy Endings, Big Bang, HIMYM, Friends, Family Guy, Gilmore Girls, King of the Hill, King of Queens, Yes Dear, Dharma and Greg, Castle, Firefly, and.. pretty much any other comedy sitcom I can find.

Music - Post-rock, rock, alternative, a little pop here and there, some metal, non-pick-up truck country, house, and recently the infamous dubstep.

Food - Everything but olives. I'm pretty keen on exploring different foods, but olives almost always throw me for a loop. Also, Yama Sushi out in Vegas is by far the greatest thing to ever be put in front of me (other than you, but we'll figure that out later.)

..Aha, cheesy flirty joke.

My laptop and phone for work, my pile of coding books for references, my close group of lifelong friends, my family, and water (seriously, I drink like a fish.)

What's next? That's pretty much my morning question lately.

It really depends on my mood at the time. I used to work for the show every Friday, but since moving here, I mostly just relax at home. Sometimes I'll meet up with Freeport or Rockford friends. Although with the holidays, there's not much going on.

T'once upon a time I was a heavier man, like 260 lbs heavy. I've managed to slowly lose a lot of it through diet changes, but I still have a bit of a ways to go.

I'm also a moderator on OKCupid.. and you have no idea half the crap I see on here. Some people just have no tact and would hump a telephone pole if it had a face. Oh the splinters. Just.. wow..

It's.. any day of the week? I'm always down to meet new people, and certainly could use some new faces out this way.

As for what I'm looking for in another person?
Friendship above all else. I think everyone jumps into things too quickly and they let hormones blind them to the foundational elements of who we are as people. Or in fewer words, we's be friends first, den we sees where it all go'n. I'm not looking to get into anything super serious anytime soon, but I'd like to like you first before things progress. Outside of us getting along, I tend to be magnetized towards people who have a drive, are genuine, and have a sense of humor.