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26 San Francisco, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 1:03pm
Sapiosexual, Straight
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, C++
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name's Steve. I do physics and stuff. Plus I fucking love general relativity -No seriously, the curvature of space-time is the ever-loving shit. Machine learning is what I'm actually payed to do however.

I spent 5 weeks one summer studying in Troyes, which is an hour and a half southeast of Paris, and which I was told is pronounced exactly like "trois" except with more phlegm and agitation. The most important thing I learned from this experience is that "Je voudrais un croissant" is the most important phrase in the entire French language.

I love sharing things I'm passionate about and I'm passionate about a lot of things.

Intelligence is my biggest turn-on

I can't decide which is more nauseating: sensitive guitar guys, or the air-headed girls who actually like that crap. I bring that up because one of them is outside my window at this very moment. I'm blasting Rage Against the Machine in retaliation.

I have a dark sense of humor and a dirty mind. I am also socially awkward. It happens. I have been told that I'm vastly more caring / sincere / self-effacing than I usually come off on first impression. I think these things are often skewed by stupid defense mechanisms or something :P

I really like people who are smart, weird, eccentric, and excessively honest; it's a hell of a lot healthier and more interesting when people actually communicate legitimate feelings and shit to each other rather than play games. It is in fact OK to do that, even if it does make you feel awkward. Really, I promise I won't judge you. Well, unless you like twangy country songs about tractors; in which case you haven't really given me much choice, have you?

I'm pretty adventurous and love trying new things; be it climbing a mountain, or trying new foods from sushi, thai, nepalese, ethiopian, indian, chinese, or whatever else have you. However unlike many people in Boulder I do not think that every moment not spent outdoors is a waste of life.

Spicy is VERY good -I once had a dish in Beijing that made my lips go completely numb and I think that's awesome.

Microbreweries make me very happy. So does the fact that crazy independent developers are still making games for the NES and the Sega Genesis. I tend to get overly enthusiastic about nerdy things and if you do too then that's a good reason to message me. I'm pretty sure we'll get on great!

Congratulations on making it this far! Unfortunately I don't have a cookie, so instead you can have this topology joke
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
That I don't know. I just don't know. I really just don't know. I'm afraid I really just don't know. I'm afraid even I really just don't know. I have to tell you I'm afraid even I really just don't know. . .er, sorry:

At the moment I'm trying to get into homebrewing, contemplating whether or not I should learn how to knit so I can make that ridiculously long scarf that Tom Baker wears in Doctor Who, programming video games, plotting world domination, and looking for a kitty to help me with that very important task.

(+10^100 bonus points if you know where that quote is from)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Physics, going to microbreweries, building Rube-Goldberg machines, amassing a bad-ass video game collection, soldering the shit out of old electronics, attempting to snowboard, and making highly inappropriate jokes at every possible opportunity.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm really not sure on this one. Let me know :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Cat's Cradle, Brave New World, 1984, Harry Potter, Slaughterhouse Five, The Stranger, Lolita, Catch-22, Choke, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Watchmen, Batman: The Long Halloween, and JTHM

Up, Eternal Sunshine, The Graduate, A Clockwork Orange, Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Moonrise Kingdom, Pulp Fiction, Goodfellas, 8 1/2, Amelie, Shaun of the Dead, Young Frankenstein, Annie Hall, No Country for Old Men, Alien, Evil Dead 2, An American Werewolf in London, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Arrested Development, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Red Dwarf, Rick and Morty, Archer, Breaking Bad, Six Feet Under, The Muppet Show [Yes, the god damn Muppet Show], Invader Zim, Dexter [when it was still good], The IT Crowd, Spaced, Peep Show, Futurama, Darkplace, Blackadder, FLCL, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and The Whitest Kids You Know

The Beatles, Talking Heads, The Clash, TV on the Radio, David Bowie, Stevie Wonder, Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, The Pixies, Tom Waits, Nick Cave [who really is pretty damn creepy, but hey, he does make good music], Jimi Hendrix, Kate Bush, Brian Eno, Public Enemy, The Who, The Flaming Lips [who are quite incessantly awesome in concert], Iron and Wine, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and [Music Videos by] OK Go
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Video games
Really well made [Bourbon barrel-aged] Imperial Stouts [because they quite legitimately put me in a state of quivering orgasmic bliss]
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Hedgehogs. Black holes. Quark-gluon plasma. Sex. Europa. Kitties. Rock Climbing. Skydiving. I need to go to the penis festival in Japan. Seriously, they have one of those.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At a coffee shop or brewpub studying advanced mathematics. For fun. Yes, I actually do that.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You get three things:
I) Nipple piercings. I have them.
II) I think rope bondage is really cool.
III) I used to have three cats who I loved like children. Then a perfect storm of shit happened and amidst said shit my girlfriend at the time revealed herself to be the most disgusting person I have ever known. The cats were all in her name. And I will never get to see them again. I don't think anyone I know properly understands just how sad that makes me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Your brain is sexy. This is important.

You're respectful, don't play games, and are willing to give things a few tries instead of jumping to premature conclusions (Maybe it's just me but it seems like these things should be pretty bleeding fucking obvious to anyone who's actually looking for a serious relationship).

Any of the above sounds cool to you + you also have a dark sense of humor + a dirty mind + you want to know more about me.

You want to go to a midnight screening of Rocky Horror.

You want to try my triple chocolate stout bacon pancakes.

The opening sequence of Dexter makes you hungry.

You want to share an imperial coffee stout while discussing black holes.

You aren't offended easily.

You seriously aren't fucking offended easily.

Vi Hart's videos fill you with wonder and make you obscenely happy. *If you have not seen any of Vi Hart's videos go to youtube immediately and rectify this*

You may be saying to yourself, "this luscious sex-god is deeply profound in his capacity for awesomeness but does he like mathematicians?" I say to you; Is every simply connected, closed 3-manifold homeomorphic to the 3-sphere?

You like to spoonerize your alliterations

You're passionate about learning.

If you actually went to youtube to rectify the lack of Vi Hart videos in your life. Seriously, if you make me a hexaflexagon you will win my heart.

Also, if you want to cook things together and / or provide me with a kitty to complete my evil scientist look.

Ok, so do you think I should write a bit to filter out the remaining crazies and jerks I don't wan't to meet how 'bout? Yeah? Cool! I'll do that now:

For the love of Jesus H Christ on a stick, do NOT waste my time messaging me if you're going to be super-flaky. Seriously, it's tiresome to always be the one putting in all the effort and never getting any effort in return.

Don't be suicidal. It's poor form.

If you are a cheater, I do not respect you. Leave now.

Do you love to shout out to the world about how wonderful feminism is and why we all so desperately need it? Then do please be aware of the following: I passionately support the complete equality of all people, and I firmly believe that modern day feminism has, on the whole, done far more to promote sexism, female chauvinism, erosion of female agency, and intolerant double standards than it has done to promote true equality. All people regardless of gender can face damaging sexist attitudes and gender stereotypes, and pretending that issues only matter if you belong to the right group is complete and utter bullshit. So for fuck's sake please *consider* the possibility that some people prefer to reserve the word equality for that which addresses the needs of all people rather than buy into an obstinate unilateral political ideology. If that is somehow contemptible to you then perhaps you are neither a tolerant nor rational person.

Finally, if anything in this profile actually offended you; what the fuck? Don't be offended so easily. Life is too important to take seriously. So relax and stop getting worked up over stupid shit.

Anywho! Now that you've read this lovely profile have a nice day filled with sunshine, rainbows, and world domination!