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25 M Denver, CO

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:43pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, C++

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My self-summary
My name's Steve. I do physics and stuff. Plus I fucking love general relativity -No seriously, the curvature of space-time is the ever-loving shit.

I spent 5 weeks one summer studying in Troyes, which is an hour and a half southeast of Paris, and which I was told is pronounced exactly like "trois" except with more phlegm and agitation. The most important thing I learned from this experience is that "Je voudrais un croissant" is the most important phrase in the entire French language.

I love sharing that I'm passionate about and I'm passionate about a lot of things.

Intelligence is my biggest turn-on

I can't decide which is more nauseating: sensitive guitar guys, or the air-headed girls who actually like that crap. I bring that up because one of them is outside my window at this very moment. I'm blasting Rage Against the Machine in retaliation.

I have a dark sense of humor and a dirty mind. I am also socially awkward. It happens. I have been told that I'm vastly more caring / sincere / self-effacing than I usually come off on first impression. I think these things are often skewed by stupid defense mechanisms or something :P

I really like people who are smart, weird, eccentric, and excessively honest; it's a hell of a lot healthier and more interesting when people actually communicate legitimate feelings and shit to each other rather than play games. It is in fact OK to do that, even if it does make you feel awkward. Really, I promise I won't judge you. Well, unless you like twangy country songs about tractors; in which case you haven't really given me much choice, have you?

I'm pretty adventurous and love trying new things; be it climbing a mountain, or trying new foods from sushi, thai, nepalese, ethiopian, indian, chinese, or whatever else have you. However unlike many people in Boulder I do not think that every moment not spent outdoors is a waste of life.

Spicy is VERY good -I once had a dish in Beijing that made my lips go completely numb and I think that's awesome.

Microbreweries make me very happy. So does the fact that crazy independent developers are still making games for the NES and the Sega Genesis. I tend to get overly enthusiastic about nerdy things and if you do too then that's a good reason to message me. I'm pretty sure we'll get on great!

I will be leaving Colorado in a year. As such, I'm not looking for something too permanent, but I abhor one-night stands. I do not want to have sex with you if you don't at least know how to be a good friend too.

Congratulations on making it this far! Unfortunately I don't have a cookie, so instead you can have this topology joke
What I’m doing with my life
That I don't know. I just don't know. I really just don't know. I'm afraid I really just don't know. I'm afraid even I really just don't know. I have to tell you I'm afraid even I really just don't know. . .er, sorry:

At the moment I'm trying to get into homebrewing, learning how to knit so I can make that ridiculously long scarf that Tom Baker wears in Doctor Who, programming video games, plotting world domination, and looking for a kitty to help me with that very important task.

(+10^100 bonus points if you know where that quote is from)
I’m really good at
Physics, going to microbreweries, building Rube-Goldberg machines, amassing a bad-ass video game collection, soldering the shit out of old electronics, attempting to snowboard, and making highly inappropriate jokes at every possible opportunity.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm really not sure on this one. Let me know :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Cat's Cradle, Brave New World, 1984, Harry Potter, Slaughterhouse Five, The Stranger, Lolita, Catch-22, Choke, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Watchmen, Batman: The Long Halloween, and JTHM

Up, Eternal Sunshine, The Graduate, A Clockwork Orange, Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Moonrise Kingdom, Pulp Fiction, Goodfellas, 8 1/2, Amelie, Shaun of the Dead, Young Frankenstein, Annie Hall, No Country for Old Men, Alien, Evil Dead 2, An American Werewolf in London, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Arrested Development, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Red Dwarf, Archer, Breaking Bad, Six Feet Under, The [God Damn] Muppet Show, Invader Zim, Dexter [when it was still good], The IT Crowd, Spaced, Peep Show, Futurama, Darkplace, Blackadder, FLCL, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and The Whitest Kids You Know

The Beatles, Talking Heads, The Clash, TV on the Radio, David Bowie, Stevie Wonder, Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, The Pixies, Tom Waits, Nick Cave [who really is pretty damn creepy, but hey, he does make good music], Jimi Hendrix, Kate Bush, Brian Eno, Public Enemy, The Who, The Flaming Lips [who are quite incessantly awesome in concert], Iron and Wine, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and [Music Videos by] OK Go
The six things I could never do without
Video games
Really well made [Bourbon barrel-aged] Imperial Stouts [because they quite legitimately put me in a state of quivering orgasmic bliss]
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Hedgehogs. Black holes. Quark-gluon plasma. Sex. Europa. Kitties. Rock Climbing. Skydiving. I need to go to the penis festival in Japan. Seriously, they have one of those.
On a typical Friday night I am
At a coffee shop or brewpub studying advanced mathematics. For fun. Yes, I actually do that.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You get three things:
I) Nipple piercings. I have them.
II) I think rope bondage is really cool.
III) I used to have three cats who I loved like children. Then a perfect storm of shit happened and amidst said shit my girlfriend at the time revealed herself to be the most disgusting person I have ever known. All of the cats were all in her name. And I will never get to see them again. I don't think anyone I know properly understands just how sad that makes me.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Your brain is sexy. This is important.

You're respectful, don't play games, and are willing to give things a few tries instead of jumping to premature conclusions (Maybe it's just me but it seems like these things should be pretty bleeding fucking obvious to anyone who's actually looking for a serious relationship).

Any of the above sounds cool to you + you also have a dark sense of humor + a dirty mind + you want to know more about me.

You want to go to a midnight screening of Rocky Horror.

You want to try my triple chocolate stout bacon pancakes.

The opening sequence of Dexter makes you hungry.

You want to share an imperial coffee stout while discussing black holes.

You aren't offended easily.

You seriously aren't fucking offended easily.

Vi Hart's videos fill you with wonder and make you obscenely happy. *If you have not seen any of Vi Hart's videos go to youtube immediately and rectify this*

You may be saying to yourself, "this luscious sex-god is deeply profound in his capacity for awesomeness but does he like mathematicians?" I say to you; Is every simply connected, closed 3-manifold homeomorphic to the 3-sphere?

You like to spoonerize your alliterations

You're passionate about learning.

If you actually went to youtube to rectify the lack of Vi Hart videos in your life. Seriously, if you make me a hexaflexagon you will win my heart.

Also, if you want to cook things together and / or provide me with a kitty to complete my evil scientist look.

Ok, so do you think I should write a bit to filter out the remaining crazies and jerks I don't wan't to meet how 'bout? Yeah? Cool! I'll do that now:

For the love of Jesus H Christ on a stick, do NOT waste my time messaging me if you're going to be super-flaky: I expect you to put at least SOME semblance of effort into things if we meet up. If you want an awesome date, help MAKE it an awesome date :)

Don't be suicidal. It's poor form.

If you are a cheater, I do not respect you. Leave now.

Do you love to shout out to the world about how wonderful feminism is and why we all so desperately need it? Then do please be aware of the following: I PASSIONATELY support the complete equality of ALL people, and I firmly believe that modern day feminism has, *on the whole* (<-- the words in asterisks are important mind you, that's why they're in asterisks), done FAR more to promote sexism, female chauvinism, and intolerant double standards than it has done to promote true equality. Being a scientist I am by nature a very logical person and while I used to think "sure, feminism seems like a good thing", at this point I cannot ignore just how much evidence I've seen to the contrary. I like to keep an open mind and reserve judgement but I'm afraid I do also have a very low tolerance for bullshit. And I call bullshit.

*sarcasm voice* yup you're TOTALLY right that men can't be raped and aren't abused too and that sexism only goes one way and of course we all need to 'man up' and stop whining and admit our privilege because unfair treatment only matters if you belong to the right group; how ASTONISHINGLY progressive of you *end sarcasm voice*

So if you're the type of person whose profound capacity for reason and lofty moral standards decries me as a 'misogynist', 'creep', and 'rape-supporter' because I dare have an opposing opinion, then please; leave my profile, google the definition of 'intolerance", and proceed to work through a good textbook on mathematical proofs over the next few months or so. In the profoundly unlikely event that someone were to actually do this, the idea would be that you're supposed to come to an appreciation for how flawed your reasoning is by gaining a deeper understanding of what it means for something to be 'true' and that a 'proof' that makes a bunch of unproved assumptions or leads to contradictions is in fact, *not* a proof, contrary to popular belief. Oh, and contrapositives and shit like that.

Finally, if anything in this profile actually offended you; what the fuck? Don't be offended so easily. Life is too important to take seriously. So relax and stop getting worked up over stupid shit.

Anywho! Now that you've read this lovely profile have a nice day filled with sunshine, rainbows, and world domination!