I don't want to leave people without anything to read though, so I leave you with my "Polar Bear" blog.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So I was just in the elevator at a client’s office building... and they have one of those monitors that provides news blurbs, weather, factoids, etc. and I read this:
"Polar bear genitals shrinking due to pollution: Polar bears in east Greenland are among the most polluted animals in the Arctic. Scientists say industrial pollutants are to blame for reduced genital size in the animals." It had a link to this article as the source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14485634.
NOW... Since I need a mini-break from the fulfilling joy that my work provides me, I must share some of my initial thoughts about this: Who the F actually measured the polar bears' balls and stuff? More importantly, HOW? (Polar bears are known as being one of the most vicious creatures on earth... I have to think they don't take kindly to humans playing around with their testicles.) Even IF this is true (that polar bears' genitals have been shrinking), how can scientists attribute this to pollution? Ummm... how about this crazy, alternative theory: unlike their other bear brothers and sisters around the globe who's balls are just fine, thanks... polar bears live in the freakin' Arctic Circle! The coldest damn place on earth... and we all know how that affects the "boys". Perhaps it's just generations of freezing genitals, sprinkle a dash of Darwin... and voila!
How about this (and forgetting about how they actually did the test on the bears), I want to know (and maybe even meet) the guy who first was like, "hey Bill, do you see what I see? I'm pretty sure the polar bears genitals are shrinking generationally; let's test them. Who's in?" I mean, who LOOKS for that. Clearly, there's not much going on in east Greenland these days. i figured people who live up there have a lot of time on their hands... didn't realize they have polar bear balls on them too.
Here's a choice excerpt from the article: "The adult polar bear testicles the researchers examined were on average roughly three inches across and 1.8 ounces in weight, although they could dramatically enlarge during the height of sexual activity from January to July. Their bacula, or penis bones, were on average nearly seven inches long."
" roughly three inches across and 1.8 ounces in weight" -- sounds like the product description of the Motorola V3 RAZR to me.
"although they could dramatically enlarge during the height of sexual activity from January to July." This is by far the most pessimistic thing I read all day. IF polar bear balls are dramatically enlarged for 7 months of the year (January to July), then wouldn't it be more appropriate (and more optimistic) to use THAT size as the norm and say that their balls are dramatically smaller for 5 months a year when they're inactive? WTF? Poor bears! Not only are you date-raping them (i.e., shooting them with tranquilizer dart, rushing over to them, and playing with their balls while their knocked out), but now you're reporting about their ball size applying the smaller size as the norm even though they're the bigger size for 58% of the year. Insult to injury, my Eskimo friend.
Last comment from a final excerpt: "Scientists report this shrinkage could, in the worst case scenario, endanger polar bears there and elsewhere by spoiling their love lives ..." C'MON! I'm calling bullshit on that. You're telling me that polar bears are endangered because the males are getting gun-shy and have zero game with the female polar bears because they're afraid their balls are smaller than their dad's balls? Please stop the insanity.