Hello, females. I don't live in Essex anymore, I'm not Irish, and I am a girl. Only one of those things is actually correct, but if I like you enough, I can try to make the others come true. And your dreams.
This is a very long profile. You can totes save yourself a bunch of time reading it, with this handy checklist.
Do you think the following things are an acceptable substitute for having an actual personality?
- Telling me you 'do yoga'
- Showing me photographs of you in a foreign country
- Showing me photographs of you climbing up things
- Showing me photographs of you falling out of things
- Saying that you 'don't take yourself too seriously'
- A picture of you with a 'comedy' moustache
- A picture of you with an actual moustache
- Telling me you 'love music' - Who doesn't?
- Telling me you like 'nights out and staying in' - Who doesn't?
- Telling me you love 'having fun' - Who doesn't?
- Telling me you 'like your friends'. Who doesn't like their own friends, for God's sake?
Oh right, yeah.
Anyway, if you answered 'Yes!' to more than three of these, there is no need to proceed! Enjoy your delightful life; full as it will be, with amazing, epic adventures, and fulfilling, g-spot-pounding sex.
Btw, if you put 'Ask me!' as an answer to any of the sections in your profile, you are an idiot who doesn't understand the concept of okcupid. May your day be filled with one line messages and pictures of engorged penises. You only have yourself to blame.