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IronicImp

27 Brooklyn, NY Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Dec 19
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Asian
Height
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Blowin' that chronic, spittin' sardonic
In vintage lingerie, shit's haingin' in a gallery
And the street's the runway, but I never stumble
Ain't fuck with the sexists, bitchmade and the jealous

Ok, time-out. You probably shouldn't message me if any of the following statements are disturbing.

1) I am not a "nice" girl, nor do I aspire to be. Being a good person is much different and much more important to me.
2) I do not believe that all people were created equal. I believe in assortative mating. I also believe in deviations from it, but there has to be some compelling reason for two people to be together, not just hey, we're both hot, let's get together.
3) Do not message me to tell me that I'm pretty or that I'm a bitch. I already know and am comfortable with both of those traits. The next is more important. If you
a) can't find anything in my really, really long profile that resonates with you
b) didn't get to the end of my profile
c) Aren't a really attractive, ambitious dude who's not put off by blunts and bluntness

...then DO NOT MESSAGE ME. We both have better ways to use our time. Efficiency is a good thing. Promote it baby.
__________________________________________________
I am:

An abstract thinker
Asker of big picture questions deemed "intense"
Kind and loyal but not always sweet
Emphatic,
Fanatical about rap, basketball, beautiful things
small but sassy
honest to a fault & impossible to lie to
an indoor cat
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have no idea. But it's gonna be damn good.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
witty repartee
back massages
empathy
abstract meandering discussions
Collecting vintage clothes
Writing
Girlfriending
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I taught Yeezy. You're welcome Kim!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am tempted to just throw down the typical profile laundry list, but here are top picks instead:

Authors: Eugene O'Neill, Phillip Roth, Franzen, Edith Wharton, the Brontes, Nabokov, Saul Bellow, Tom Wolfe, Jhumpa Lahiri

Book that changed how I think about the world: Unbearable Lightness of Being, Roth's Zuckerman set, Long Day's Journey, Seize the Day, Norweigan Wood, Freedom, the Rabbit Run series, Hamlet, Fountainhead (be not alarmed, dear reader--this girl worships not at the false altar of objectivism), Consider the Lobster, Gatsby, Animorphs, and...The

Music: Mostly hip-hop (Currently a lot of A$AP, Azaelia, Jay, Pusha T, Rozay, , etc.), KENDRICK songs for skinny white boys (XX, Passion Pit, Vampire Weekend)...and C-pop (I never really got over 周華健 from my days as a 12 year old mathlete with lots of exaggerated feelings)

Shows/Movies: NBA TV, Breaking Bad, ARCHER!, The Wire, Arrested Development, House of Cards, Kardashians, Louis CK, Mad Men, Jon Stewart, Godfather, The Housewife, Memento, Mean Girls, Closer, Eat Drink Man Woman, Social Network (great script, right?)

Food: Please feed me. Anything will do. I know it doesn't look like it, but I eat constantly and will usually down by burger before you're even on bit 3. #metabolism

So this ended up being a laundry list after all. Fail! But at least it offers a wide possibility of openers, no?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) My friends--the people closest to me will always be my top priority no matter what
2) That dark, bone-sans-marrow-dry kind of droll humor
3) Creative fulfillment
4) Ironic detachment
5) Grantland and rap genius
6) Nice clothes
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to live a meaningful, beautiful, elite, socially responsible life with love and enjoy it, goddamit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
either tottering around awkwardly in some awful club/trying to be a normal 25-year-old girl...or rolling an obscenely obese j and watching a movie with you. Mmmhmm...

Needless to say, I prefer the latter. I guess that makes me a well-socialized introvert but a bad bschool student.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't believe in settling. Being alone is pretty cool, I'm pretty busy, and I am happier keepin' it real on my own--it's better than an average relationship.

I have. however, been the happiest when I've discovered someone awesome to kick it with (with whom to kick it?)--so what I'm looking for is an AMAZING relationship, the kind that broadens and deepens your human experience and changes your worldview forever.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are introspective and abstract-thinking
You love going on intellectual adventures (and real ones too).
You are confident and consistent in your worldview, and are deeply empathetic, funny as fuck, ambitious, creative, and a baller in the bedroom.

ONLY THE FOLLOWING WILL BE READ

Followed 1) Instructions at top
Meets 2) The basics (I'm Harvard/Stanford, so don't dislike that
Also be 3) hot, smart, funny, 4) looking for the last girl you'll ever want