Most important thing: I hate phony people (in b4 Holden Caulfield). I'd rather hang out with a genuine asshole than a fake friendster. Believe me, there are few things about you that, if genuine, will write you off for me.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand I'm back in Rochester again, fresh from NYC. Anybody who has lived in NYC or any other large city and then moved to Rochester knows about how cool this is. Whoo!

Seriously, though, I'm awesome and womenfolk usually find me quite charming.

Learnin.

Instituting social revolution.

Probably lots of wandering around.

Driving, whistling, being funny, tying cherry stems in my mouth, Minesweeper (I know what you're thinking: "ZOMG Minesweeper I bet his cock is huge!"), physics, kissing (hey, I'm half Italian), cuddling (I put out a lot of heat, so I'm especially appreciated in Rochester), old video games (SNES, N64), amusing cats, dogs, and babies (seriously, I can't tell you how often I hear "Oh my gosh, [insert cat name] hates everybody! why is he/she sitting your head and purring?), finding humor in everything (they say that that makes me an existentialist).

Long hair, blue eyes, shy, funny.

Look, this is not an anthology of all the books that I've read. If you want to discuss other books, it's quite possible that I've read them and can offer well-formed thoughts in their regard.

Catch-22, anything by Kilgore Trout, The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Dune, Kafka and Dostoevsky are both a laugh-riot read, Fight Club, Le Petit Prince, E.A.Poe, Kerouac, A Clockwork Orange, The Master and Margarita, http://worldinferno.com/history.php, Calvin and Hobbes, The Prophet, assorted philosophy

SLC Punk, Blues Brothers, What Makes Franz So Neato?, Strange Brew, Cool Hand Luke, Snatch, Princess Bride, Léon (The Professional), Allegro non Troppo, Casablanca, The Warriors, Stalag 17, Spirited Away, Brick, most Johnny Depp flicks

TV: Pretty much only things that aren't on anymore, but if you have DVDs of any of these, then we're friends--like, right now. Cowboy Bebop, Arrested Development, Cartoon Planet, Futurama, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Earthworm Jim, Boondocks, MacGyver, Jeopardy!, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Animaniacs,The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Mystery Science Theater 3000.

I've replaced TV with webcomics, so here's those: Something Positive, Questionable Content, Dr McNinja, XKCD, Cyanide and Happiness, Perry Bible Fellowship, Least I Could Do.

Standup comics: Jim Gaffigan, Dave Chappelle, Louis CK, Mike Birbiglia, Eddie Izzard, Richard Pryor, Mitch Hedburg, me, others

They Might Be Giants, The World/Inferno Friendship Society, Gogol Bordello, Streetlight Manifesto, Moxy Früvous, Eve6, Vandals, Mr. T Experience, Cake, Common Rider, Weezer (Blue~Green), mc chris, Biting Midge, Operation Ivy, MU330, 311, Daft Punk, Johnny Cash, Sublime, Kevin Jones and the Other Tones, Beatles, Thursday, Rancid, Hot Hot Heat, Tom Lehrer, Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution, Authority Zero, Unnamed Parrot and the Pluperfects
Punk, Ska, Old Country, Nature, People, If it sounds good or inspires me, I love it

Ice cream sandwiches, frozen grapes, pulled pork, PBJ, pasta pasta pasta, good stir fry, oranges. I was eating three oranges a day for a few weeks in a row. I can peel an orange like a mofo, just ask Erin.

These are all actually pretty important things to me, so if you share a deep appreciation of these *and* have similar taste, then we have a very solid starting point.

Hijack, this thread is now about comments left by other users (since apparently that feature disappeared since my first account). Feel free to Wiki one in.

noescapingred says: "Joe is awesome, and I wish he lived in Brooklyn cuz he acts like he was born here. Hot girls should go out with him and touch his parts.. Joe has nice hair. I wanted to pet it..but I was afraid if I did I'd spend hours petting it.. and get lost in his brown locks of Joe hair. We ate pie and it was good. He's cute like for real. The End"

fireminion7 says: "This boy is awesome and will literally rock your socks. Awesomeness happens around him kinda all the time. Probably one of the best people to have as a friend, he'll purr like a walrus if you give him head scritches ^_~"

Editors

• fireminion7
• noescapingred

The inevitable zombie apocalypse

What I'd do if that guy tried to fight me

How to start conversations

Why I can't seem to drink or do drugs (strange, considering how many of my heroes have been alcoholics if not outright drug-addicts), though I feel like I'm getting closer to starting

Females

Was that Corey Feldman in the dream last night?

How to best start the revolution

Most of my daydreams involve me getting injured

There is no typical.

I'm choking on the things that I wish I could say when I see pretty girls.

Girls in PJs fill me with cuddle-lust.

Oh and I decided that embarrassment and awkward were just made up feelings that weren't worth my time, so if you want to know something, literally anything, just ask. Unless I have a remarkably good reason not to, I'll tell.

~You want me to actually view your profile. I only sign on here when I'm written to, so if you just stalk (oh I'm sorry, apparently that was bothering people so the site changed it to "visit") me and await my input based on that, you'll likely be waiting for a while.

~You can teach/help me make a kilt. Specifically, a Utilikilt.

~You actually want to hang out. Talk is nice, but I've got more than enough of it and not nearly enough people to hang out with. Let's walk around, watch a movie, get some dinner or cook some (I want to learn to cook more things), sit and watch people, or go find something amazing in this bizarre little city.

~You wanna trim my hair. Just a bit!

And look; when I say that I want friends, I don't just mean that I want friends who will eventually become friends with benefits. If you don't want to be more than friends, I'm fine with being friends. I do possess the ability to have different levels of friendship with different people, though.

~tldr; I rarely reject people so I will take your lack of a letter as a rejection of me. How can you be so cold?