Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Could be I'm happiest in natural places, but I love the nature of
cities too. Grew up in Oak-Berk; one day I walked to a piano lesson
near Cal through tear gas and rioting. My big brother was the
activist back then; me, the observer.
Amorous but also independent. Don't like to pigeonhole or be
pigeonholed; prefer to cultivate beginner's mind (another happy
Analytical but suggestible; playful, ethical, nerdy, patient. Love
beauty but value it most in the heart and soul. A bit cagey, but
also gullible--go figure, I'm left-handed. I go with my gut more
than my head, even though the latter never seems to take a
I'm in an "open relationship" (my wife of 33 years). We parted ways
sexually 25 years ago, when I came out. I have no special wish to
bring a guy into the sphere of that relationship in a social way,
although it has happened when there's interest all around. My
biggest wish (and why I'm here on OKCupid) is to have a good,
independent connection with a swell guy or guys, whether that's
friendship or with the so-called benefits.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to do less, and learn again to be. I think I appreciate life
more this way, and see things better--and show up better for
Worked for an age at an SF publisher, came out in my thirties,
raised my daughter, co-reinvented my marriage, loved and lusted
some fine men, continue to make music (bass and piano) and hike the
Now working as a freelance editor of book manuscripts. Have taught
English to non-native speakers and coached 8th-graders in
Love to read, think, and shoot the shit about books, events, music,
movies, times & places, you name it. I'm not intellectual, just
curious. I love to find the connections between things.
I get a lot of physical exercise, but being outside is all I really
need--it exercises the body and the soul.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm a pretty good teacher. I think I appreciate the deep qualities
of people and things. I love music and words and language, and have
always worked and played with these. I try to listen deeply to
people; this is work in progress.
I'm good at owning my own stuff, unpacking my own baggage---and
admitting when I don't do that.
This all sounds sort of lofty when put into words. One of my fears
is self-delusion (the hall of mirrors); another is taking myself
too seriously. So I'm grateful to be a born goofball too. Can we
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably that I'm friendly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Broad interests: if something is strong, original, brave,
beautiful, incisive, inspiring, witty, etc., then I'm on board. If
it's nihilistic or gratuitously violent or cruel, count me out,
I like to be challenged and to have my assumptions up-ended. (Hmm,
Freud might be right.) I also love to laugh and lose it, and I need
more of that, dammit!
Food: Just bring it on. A modest meal in the wilds of the mountains
tastes better than a night at Chez Panisse. Sort of.
Let's expand each other's viewsheds. It's half the fun of having a
good friend. It's a big reason I'm here on this site.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Not in any order: being outdoors--under the deep blue sky; warm
connections with friends; kindness (in a word); conversation (good,
real, inane); touch; and what's just beyond reach.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Balancing stuff: I think a lot about the people in my life. And
about continually coming awake. And not losing the humor along the
way. And I think about this damn compressed nerve in my arm way too
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I like to play with what's served up in the moment, and to create
or co-create from there; and to be okay with just chilling. The
magic is in the pauses, the spaces.
Anyway, it's the company you keep that matters. And that can also
mean sweet solitude.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...well, if you're interested enough to introduce yourself.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.