Attempting to seem socially acceptable no longer a chore, I dashed any hopes of appealing to the alternative community when I took scissors to scalp. Sigh a sigh.

Hey, I'm Tyson, a remedial massage therapist, nutritionist-in-training and currently studying to be an osteopath.

In essence, my entire life revolves around fixing people. =)

I make terrible first impressions, but awesome Charmagne sauce.

I really like to pretend I don't know what the hit die of a colossal aberration is, but the Abyssal Beholders are massing. Eck.

I'm generally bewildered by life. Sure, every now and then we kick the crap out of each other, but there's love.

I'm a huge closet-geek, but hey, I at least look socially acceptable, so nobody will ever know.

The combined scent of Bvlgari, ylang-ylang and strawberries makes me hum.

I tend to come off as arrogant because I don't speak Common, so if the jargon isn't working for you, I do provide express amounts of "boganlit" if asked.

I prefer brandy over blondes, and to bandy over bridges.

I'm not sure what I'm jonesing on, anymore. I guess I'd just like to meet a lovely lass with some (un)common interests.
Banality kills, children.

If you find that to your liking, feel free to contact me; Christ knows I need the stimulation.

=D

As I've said, I'm studying to be an osteopath. I like bones. A lot. You have no idea how much I like bones. Please don't ever ask me about how much I like bones. It's scary and weird.

Anyways, to pay my way through that Bee Ess, I work as a Remedial Massage Therapist - Touching, oiling and stretching yesterday's trainwreck and today's gristled meat. I like it. Lots. =)

On the side, I'm taking a bridging course in nutrition, since I'd like to get my career portfolio as diverse in the health industry as possible.

What can I say? I'm obviously a either a Saint or incredibly moneyhungry. You decide.

Writing pseudo-intellectual scripture about social machinations.

I'm alright in bed, but I'm better with the pen.

Rolling natural twenties, even if my stat pool obviously used Charisma as a dump.

Providing senseless conversation about obscure hypothetical and often silly scenerios.
Say... If you woke up one day inside an Israeli villa with a throbbing head and no memory; only to hear the angry foreign yelling of someone trying to pound down the door, which Seinfeld character would you want there and why?

I spend half of the time looking like a "Hipster Mortician". Make your own conclusions from that, because I still have no idea what the Hell it means. =P

Though when in conversation, it's always the fact that I have a slight lilt in my accent due to living with my un-assimilating Norsk parents for the first seventeen years of my life.

Books:
Breakfast of Champions - Kurt Vonnegut.
Kneller's Happy Campers - Etgar Keret.
The Wheel of Time (etc) - Robert Jordan.
The Belgariad/Mallorean - David Eddings.
Anything by brother Freud.

Movies:
Wristcutters. - Arthouse flick, black comedy, see it.
A Clockwork Orange.
Evil Dead.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
...Yeah, I like my cult movies.

Music:
Bright Eyes.
Against Me!
Alkaline Trio.
The Matches.
Nine Inch Nails.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
Type O Negative.
Zeromancer.
Pendulum.
Devildriver.
Coal Chamber.
In Flames.
The Red Paintings.
3OH!3.
Megadeth.
CKY.
...There is actually far, far more. But hey, it always comes up in conversation anyway.

Food:
Meat.
I'm not a fan of anything dairy, but Christ, I do like meat, and chilli, and... Well, yeah, them.

My hands.

A lighter. Despite the fact I don't smoke often, I really, really like looking at a flame. Odd quirk.

An MP3 player for the purpose of drowning out the piercing voices of the vapid pre-teen slag on the back of the bus. Dude, seriously, I'm reading MX, I don't need to know about how Harry fucked Julie at the Soft-Bop Superdance. Go away.

My inability to conjugate grammatically correct sentences.

Brisbane MX Newspapers. They actually make commuting enjoyable.

Stupidly large amounts of hand and wrist jewlery.

As prior mentioned, silly and rather pointless situations.

What I'm going to read next... At the moment, I'm on a huge "Thus Spake Zarathustra" kick. So... Wonder what's next.

I like to think about archetypal philosophy and patchworking it. Say, the "weaving" aspect to experiential leaning being a primary driver towards gaining any form of alacrity in open-mindedness and third-tier thought. Kind of all about bringing your personality to the up and up, dig?

Sitting alone, rocking back and forth while sobbing into my stein of brandy.

Heh, I'm actually probably somewhere in the Valley with a few mates, a wad of cash and some big dreams.

I'd rather be curled up with a nice broad watching shitty B-grade horror movies; but that's probably why I'm here.

Fancy that.

I actually tried.

If you have a brain in your head, optimally.

Oh, and if you can hold your own in a conversation; none of this:

"Hey"
"Hey"
"What's up?"
"Nothing, you?"
"Same."

---End conversation---

I swear to Christ, if I get any more people like that, I'll start cutting throats.

Erm, in the nicest way possible.