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"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." -J.R.R. Tolkien

"I am not difficult. I am definite." -Hedy Lamarr

"[I want] to be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but the simple truth of that recognition. This has been the elemental drive of my existence, and it must be achieved, if I am to live or die with dignity." -Bicentennial Man

"Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom." -Soren Kierkegaard

"Yeah. He's a good man. Ooh, he's got a gift. Comes from heaven above, I swear. But he's still just a man." -The Horse Whisperer

“A good man draws a circle around himself and cares for those within – his woman, his children. Other men draw a larger circle and bring within their brothers and sisters. But some men have a great destiny. They must draw around themselves a circle that includes many, many more." -10000 BC

"We must speak with all the humility that is appropriate to our limited vision, but we must speak." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

"You've gotta' dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And speak from the heart to be heard." -William W. Purkey

"You'd rather imagine that you can escape instead of actually try 'cause if you fail, then you've got nothing. So you'll give up the chance of something real so that you can hold on to hope. The thing is, hope is for sissies." -House, MD

"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." -Fred Rogers

"People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls" -Jung.

Come away, O human child!
to the waters and the wild
with a faery, hand in hand,
for the world's more full of weeping
than you can understand... -W. B. Yeats

I am a wizard whose light can be painful to those not acclimated to the brighter truths. I am allergic to illusions, lies, evasions, rationalizations, and others of the various species of demons.

I am different from most men. When I'm with someone physically, I feel connected, and I can sense when they're not. This seems to be a rare trait even among women, and more so among men.

Unfortunately, in my experience, though women may generally be more empathic than men themselves, they are just as awkward in dealing with that kind of emotional availability in others.

...

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html <-- I am one of these, but with strong development of the F factor as well.

Also: http://michelsmedia.deviantart.com/ www.myspace.com/julianthepoet

Some of my closest friends are Bohemianiso and Nykyos. Bohemianiso is a free-thinking vegan hippie progressive and Nykyos is a free-thinking government-designing political philosopher with totalitarian leanings. They're very different kinds of people, but the key fact is that they're both free-thinking and loyal friends.

Another group of my friends includes xenogears2 and Zachmarius. They're my local tribe of men, and we engage in such age-old rituals as playing Rock Band 2 and stalking, trapping, and shooting the breeze. They're good guys. If you prefer skinny and tall or slight and fit (rather than a massive bear like me), then check out xenogears2 or Zachmarius, respectively. Lupis86 is another member of our little community of nerds, who we finally got to join OKC! He is my main sparring partner with my variation of the Fiore dei Liberi martial art, and is quite handy with a sword.

While I'm on the subject, IsisMeow and ZoinkZelda are two friends and generally awesome ladies who I met on this site, and have since built an enduring family of friends with (long live Peregrination!!!) They must be like the coolest household in Eugene!

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Picture a big brown bear in the woods. Many of the nearby animals are a little bit (or a lot) afraid of the bear, who not only towers over them (after all, the buffalo and the moose also tower, and they are not very frightening), but who is also a very private and mysterious creature, who lives his life a bit set apart from the other creatures, and whose eyes are deep pools of unknown thought. No wonder most of the forest creatures keep their distance.

But little Wolfpup, against all the cautioning of his friends and family, goes and visits Bear every day, and he tells a story that no one quite believes.

The big brown bear, Wolfpup says, has big wire spectacles that he keeps in a box by his bed, and when Wolfpup comes over, Bear takes out the spectacles and shuffles over to his secret library, where he chooses a book from the hundreds that line the shelves. If it’s a nice day, Bear takes Wolfpup outside to the stream that is right by his cottage, and they sit in the moss and ferns by the water. If it’s too cold or wet for that, then Bear makes a fire in the fireplace, and Wolfpup curls up next to Bear and listens while his unlikely friend tells him long stories of knights and dragons and spaceships and heroes and beautiful she-wolves and bear-maidens. Sometimes, they go swimming, and Bear is teaching Wolfpup how to catch the great wild salmon that sometimes live in the stream. Bear has shown Wolfpup a great number of new foods, for he takes almost as much pleasure in cooking delicious things as he does in eating them, and if there’s one thing Wolfpup has learned about Bear, it’s that Bear likes to share the things he loves.

“So are you telling us Bear isn’t scary?” the other animals incredulously ask Wolfpup.

“Oh, no, Bear is very scary!” Wolfpup answers them. “If he was angry, he could tear this forest apart! And sometimes I do not understand why he does the things he does. He is a strange and frightening creature.”

“Then why do you visit him?” They all ask.

“Because I love him. He is soft and kind to me, and he tells me the best stories. I learn many things from Bear, and I know that if anyone threatened a hair on my hear, he would tear this forest apart to protect me. I do not understand him, but I trust him more than I trust any creature in the world.”

“You are strange,” they inform him. But Wolfpup only smiles his sharp toothy smile, because Bear told him they would say that. Bear always seems to know, but Wolfpup never understands how. That is one of Bear’s secrets.

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I am someone who is self-assured and a bit intimidating to most people, but who is extremely loving to the people I let in. I'm almost always outside of the group, though increasingly I seem to occupy the position of "outside expert", alienated but highly respected. I'm a juxtaposition of a mighty rational mind and a sensitive empathic soul, which creates a lot of interesting results. The faint of heart should beware, and not come too close. The courageous and wise should come right in and have a cup of tea.

WARNING: If you need me to rescue you, please look elsewhere. My career involves in-depth work with mental illness, and as a result, I surround my personal self with a community of very, very stable and healthy individuals. It doesn’t matter how sexy, charming, smart, or good-souled you are: if you don’t yet know who you are, and your childhood traumas are still open, bleeding wounds or are festering in the closet, Don’t Come to Me. Instead, feel free to look me up in the phonebook when I open a private practice.

Also, if you will dismiss me because of my age, then buzz off. If you really want to dismiss my ideas, then at least bother yourself to use logic to do so. "You're just young, that's why you think that way," doesn't count as logic. My body may be young, but if you can't see past that then please don't bother me.

I'm training to join the PsyCorps. No, really, I'm puttering around Eugene, OR, working with preeminent scholars to research experimental therapeutic interventions and standardize/manualize a fascinating subdiscipline called Narrative Psychology. Someday I'm going to be a little bit famous like George Lakoff.

Apparently I'm also teaching middle-schoolers improv and storytelling this year, which is a really fun part of my journey towards integrated creative therapy.

Martial arts also play a major role in my life. As in other areas, I love synthesis, so I'm working my way through all the martial arts that interest me and integrating them in my mental framework. So far, I've begun to master taekwondo, aikido, classic fencing, Fiore dei Liberi Italian swordplay, and jiu jitsu.

I have several prominent flaws, but being untalented is not one of them. My friends have long since stopped being surprised by the things I happen to know how to do.

Cooking, listening to my soul, respecting others the way they are, writing eloquently, speaking rationally, dialectics and discourse, making music, singing, poetry, spoken word, speeches, self-analysis and self-work, treating children like Little People and earning their respect as a result, photography, photo editing, video editing, special effects, tabletop game design, directing artists, inspiring artists who are looking for vision, organizing the dreams of others, teaching those who want to learn, absorbing information and mastering things I'm interested in rapidly and well, rejecting illegitimate authority, loving others, standing up for the underdog, tongue twisters, saying sorry when I believe I'm in the wrong, compromising when I believe it's right but never compromising my soul, self-control, acting, strategy, deep analysis, anything that involves mastering complex systems, finding deep spiritual meaning in everything.

I'm trained in medieval swordplay, 14th-century Italian style. I'm not talking about those wimpy little pokeysticks, either. Though I have taken a few lessons in that, too.

I'm a big guy with long sandy-blond hair and terribly crooked glasses (this particular frame got bent when my Aikido instructor threw me and pinned my head into the mats, hard... the last got bent in an unfortunate zip-lining accident in China... but my glasses are always crooked).

That I'm always smiling and laughing, except when I'm crying, pondering, fighting, or emoting in some other way.

(As a result, I'm already developing crows feet at my eyes and all kinds of smile lines and worry lines on my face. I don't mind; I consider them the hard-earned scars of lessons learned and wisdom gained.)

Yeah... most folks seem to make this their longest section... I actually don't really care if we have the same taste in all of these insignificant things, and I would hope that you don't really care either. So instead, a poem:

If I was a book, I would be open. My cover would be a bit dusty, but also interesting and, for heavy readers, attractive. My prose would be passionate, articulate, and straightforward, but with a subtle poetry underneath. I would be a thick book, probably over 800 pages, and my plot content would meander from chapter to chapter. My theme, however, would be consistent, and would deal with the pain of being a healer in a very sick world. My characters would all be concerned with self-discovery and the life-long quest to understand how they fit with the world. I'd have a slow beginning, but a very powerful conclusion, that left few loose ends. My best readers would be those who could see past my weak points, and understand the beauty and the great strength that lay within my papery folds.

My Dreams are the most important thing in my life right now. The Dreaming is my core spirituality.

Freedom; whenever I am forced to try to live under obligations and expectations that I did not choose, I can feel my soul shrivel and I start to rage.

Companionship; for the world is often cold and dark, and how could I weather that alone without freezing into bitterness myself?

Creation; for we are the universe becoming aware of itself.

Respect; because we all make our own choices, and there are many monsters in the world, and respect for each other's boundaries is one of the best shields that protects us from them.

Comfort; for I am a big furry creature of sunlight and baklava, soft beds and storytimes.

If you really want to know, start a conversation with me and ask for my thoughts on any subject in the world. I'll probably have a strong, original, and relatively intricate viewpoint that I'm perfectly ready to share, because I've probably thought about it before and if I haven't, I've probably thought about something similar. This is because my brain practically never turns off.

And if you ask me about something that I haven't thought much about before, I'll probably be twice as excited. I'll get really impressed and like you a lot if you say original/creative things that help me develop new/old ideas. On the other hand, if you are talking at me because you have something to prove and/or you're intimidated by people who don't color inside the lines and who know what they think, then you'd probably be better off avoiding me.

I can usually be found crafting one of my hundred or so ongoing projects in any one of dozens of media.

Or on a date.

Or tabletop gaming.

I'm going to use this section to try to warn away the unsuitable.

I believe that most of what we view as 'negative emotions' or 'dirty habits' are not actually bad things, as long as they're expressed respectfully. I'm a big fan of using fantasy and play to explore the darker corners of my spirit and the spirit of humanity, and I very clearly differentiate those fantasies from reality. As a result, I can be very scary to those who are a less wordly or "pure". However, I'm not dark, in general. I'm complicated.

I'm either very good in bed or a total disaster, depending on whether I feel free to express myself and in charge of my sexuality, whether I'm really into my partner (body, mind, and soul), and whether my partner is emotionally wide open to me. If these conditions are not met, then my libido and especially my interest in pleasing my partner goes on strike. So if you're one of those ladies who believes that because you're a woman, you have the right to demand sex and if your demand isn't met, then something is wrong, then buzz off and go exercise your "femininity" with more servile men.

If I'm given consistency and decency in friendship/love, then I'm pretty secure and independent. But I'm not invulnerable to emotions like jealousy and possessiveness.

Most of y'all are wearing constant masks, because you believe that's the best way to survive, or because that's the habit that you've long since stopped questioning. Most of you make tacit agreements with each other to not disturb each others' masks, so that yours will not be disturbed in turn.

I'm not wearing a mask. Well, sometimes I put masks on, but a lot of the time, I'm not. I know you probably don't believe me, but for those of you who do, know that I would just love to meet any of you rare creatures who truly aren't constantly masking, either. If I frighten you, then that's probably not you. If it is you, then I can give you complete emotional availability, at least as a friend.

If it is not you, then please, go in peace. I realize this hugely limits my selection pool, but trust me, you don't want none of this disruption up in your illusions, and I can't be emotionally available to a masked person anyway.

Being around me tends to be a full-course meal. Most people don't like constantly growing, and as a result, I'm a pretty acquired taste.

Also, I can't/don't eat wheat or other substances containing gluten. Sad day.

You're really not wearing a mask, and you're comfortable in your skin.

You are joyous because you're alive! And maximizing your systemic creativity.

You're not a flake or passive aggressive. You do what you say and say what you do.

You've been accused of "living in another world", and you agreed, but it's okay because you like your world better.

Even though you know you're something extraordinary, you know that those you bring into your life are also entirely extraordinary, and therefore you treat them with all of your respect. You know what that word means.

You take life seriously and laugh at it

I’m keeping my eye out for someone with whom there is real long-term potential, whom I can respect to the end of the world. I’ve sown my proverbial wild oats and ridden my proverbial Pegasus, and now I really just want someone with whom I can find that exquisite mix of soft comfort, hot passion, and delicious dreams. I don’t care whether you’re a shy mouse or the loud-mouthed life of the party, as long as you have a thriving inner world and voice. I don’t care whether sexual references embarrass you or you’re a Rocky Horror Picture Show cast member, as long as you understand what commitment is and value honor above convenience. I don’t care if you grew up in a safe, good family or if you were abused as a child, as long as you are a responsible healer of your own heart who always holds your head up and never stops doing your best. I don’t care if you’re eighteen or if you’re thirty, because I have seen and dated women of a very wide age-range and I know that a wide-awake person learns as much in a year as a slumbering soul learns in ten. In my heart, it is better to be sincere than to be successful, better to dream than to protect yourself, and better to grow wise than to grow bitter. I’m seeking a wise woman with whom to spend my days. A truth-seeker. A witch or sorceress. If you don't know what that means after reading this profile, then you and I should probably stick to 'just friends'.

Ciao!