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Hi there. Back from judging me by my pictures? My name's Jesse and I'm bad at making up usernames.

Here's where I would take the route of explaining how silly I think the whole self-summary thing is. In fact, that's what was here before I realized that half the people on this website had the same idea. So, why don't we pretend that you just read some delightfully :rolleyes: diatribe about how I'm oh so too cool for school and move on.

C'mon, you know you want to read more. I mean, I would, and I'm me!

I'm a senior at the Rhode Island School of Design. Don't worry, I don't shop at "Salvie's," drink PBR, or flail my limbs to Lightning Bolt. I'm a film major. We're the ones ranting about how YouTubers are doing it wrong when we're not gargling John Cassavetes' balls. (Or calling him a hack.)

I'm currently working on my senior thesis film, which will hopefully premier in May. It's called "Jack Feeds Elysa" and has to do with a fetish called feederism. Jack gets off on feeding his immobile and morbidly obese girlfriend, Elysa, and she gets off on being a pampered, sedentary love object. It's a sick little story I writing and directing myself. Production starts in January.

Making fun of things. Pure, unapologetic derision. Everything in life is fair game. There's nothing worth being 100%, deadly serious about. I recognize that not everything is a joke either, but I think life's only worth living if you keep getting your ha-ha's in.

Also the whole writer/director/all-around-superstar thing, I guess....

I have a pretty big head. It's not like Poe big, but it attracts comments. Sometimes they are whispered, but I hear them anyway, because I have a pretty big head.

Also, I have a big, fancy Mr. Moviephone voice.

- Transgressional authors (Palahniuk, Ballard), 80's Zeitgeist authors (Ellis, MacInerney), graphic novels (The Sandman and Batman), the odd non-fiction interest, and lately I've been into Oscar Wilde

- My favorite movie is, has always been, and likely will always be GoodFellas. Besides Scorsese, I also like The Coen Brothers, Kubrick, Gilliam, Nolan, and Anderson (Wes not P.T., though he's good too). I like a few recent Asian films; they're pretty edgy. I am waaay into the French New Wave. Other films in my top ten include Fight Club, Trainspotting, The Rules of Attraction, and Blade Runner.

- I have a big place in my heart for classical music (Strauss is my fave), but mostly I listen to rock. The contemporary stuff I like is usually what one might call "alternative" or even "indie," but that's more of an accident than anything because I don't follow the music scene that much. Examples include Cold War Kids, Ted Leo, Franz Ferdinand, Chronic Future, Mindless Self Indulgence, and The Strokes. I'm also in love with 90's Britpop like Pulp and Suede, and certain 80's stuff. Also, Bowie and The Beatles. Oh, I always forget that I like hip-hop too, but the good stuff, if there is such a thing.

- I'm a foodie. I've always been thankful that I have no allergies or dietary prohibitions (religious or otherwise) preventing me from omnomnom-ing anything I want. That said, I try hard to avoid crap. I'll go well out of my way for a good piece of pizza. I'd rather starve than live on ramen. I'm teaching myself to cook and I'm not bad at it either.

- I'm gonna go ahead and add video games here. I own a Wii, but I'm growing to be jealous of my friends with "real" consoles. I like Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but you won't catch me doing short-hop drills and memorizing frame-by-frame animations. I'm the guy spamming Falcon Punch and saying it right along with him. My favorite game of all time is Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater and yes I cried at the end.

A ridiculous, skylarking dream.

A space to call my own.

Good friends for good chilling.

The occasional adventure.

Lulz.

High fructose corn syrup.

Positive applications for misanthropy.

How to seek out happiness, and not just the things that I think will bring me happiness.

That inside-out face people make when they are both laughing and hating themselves for laughing.

Gonna start my own porno website for Latina chicks with dicks. And call it Hot Shemalés.

Apathy. You know, it's not really a bad thing. It's by no means a virtue, but you could lead a fine, pointless, innocuous life if you wanted. Needs and desires and ambitions are the source of all of life's sorrows - and joys, yes, if you care about that kind of thing.

Sometimes I think I should lift more weights, but when I do I always think I could be doing something more productive like reading books. Although when I read books, I often think that I could be having sex. And invariably, when I have sex I always think I should have lifted more weights.

How to make that sentence perfect.

When I was younger, I used to think that obese people could swim around inside themselves. Then I wondered if a handicapped person would feel like they were floating if you propped them up on their dead legs. Now I wonder if there's a Hell. I really hope there isn't...

Saying how this past week was awful awful awful turd-maxi and I deserve a break.

On a typical Sunday night I am:

Chastising myself for not doing any work during the weekend and figuring out how I'm going to squeeze it all into the goddamn week.

Every so often, a white hair grows in my left eyebrow and I have to pluck it out with tweezers. Your guess is as good as mine.

you wish to challenge me to a heart-racing battle of souls exploded on the shores of the entropic sea of eternity.... or if you think I am kawaii ^_^

Real talk: Go ahead and fire away. I'll sort it out myself, thank you.