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39 F Toronto, Ontario, CA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 3, 2013
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Dislikes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay)

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My self-summary
MAY 2O UPDATE: Whew, lots of awesome folks around here! My dance card seems to have filled up for the moment, and until I see how things turn out with those folks, I'm not looking for anyone new so probably won't be replying to new inquiries.

In brief? Um...cheerfully intense, queer (bi), unabashedly geeky, ridiculously open-minded, curious by nature, and fascinated by EVERYTHING in the world. (The down side of a million general interests is that I'm not really an expert in anything.) Friends, family and community are incredibly important to me. I laugh hard, love intensely, and wear my heart on my sleeve.

IMPORTANT NOTE: as a way to distinguish between "people who have randomly decided to say hi" and "people who have bothered to read about me and what I'm actually looking for, and still think they're a match", I've embedded a couple of Code Words (TM) specifically in the "message me if" section. Including the code words in a message to me - i.e. indicating that you've actually read everything and think you are a match for what I'm actually looking for - vastly increases my interest in you, and likelihood of a reply.

Rather than boring you with me talking about myself, I bring you a (hopefully) insightful and amusing commentary on yours truly as written by a dear, dear friend who was also my roommate for several years in university. She has done an outstanding job with no other instruction than the fact that "RUN! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!" was already taken. :D Yes, it's all true. Except for the bit about the surgery and gills. Obviously. *shifty eyes* Here's a selection of what she wrote:

"[JHM] had virtually no scarring from the surgery.

"But she still misses her gills.

"[JHM] survived university by showering her various culinarily gifted roomies with outrageous compliments and offers of marriage. This is how she ate for four years. Her incredible powers of survival sensed that the most efficient way for her to eat was through flattery, and this became her mission through her entire undergraduate career.

"[JHM] likes to fold small things into smaller things that are pretty neat. She likes to cram (in an orderly, catalogued kind of way) as much into her a) home b) mind c) life as she can get away with and then some. To visit [JHM] is to spend hours just looking at all... the... cool... little... things... Same thing goes for her brain. And, natch, her life.

"[JHM] will ditch her work and travel fourteen hours to be at your mom's funeral. Then she will have a lively discussion about dildos with your uncle at the wake.

"[JHM] likes travel, chocolate, paper, cats, treehouses, wood, leather, books, garlic, cheese, writing, reading, sci fi, the web, TV, growing things, sleep and warmth.

"[JHM] is the only person to whom I have given a voodoo doll of myself.

"'Nuff said."
What I’m doing with my life
Last summer I quit my job to fulfill my dream of travelling around the world, and this May I returned from six months of backpacking around Asia and Africa. At the moment I'm taking some time to figure out what I want to do moving forward before leaping back into the world of employment.

While travelling I rediscovered a sexual interest in men, much to the amusement of my two girlfriends back in Toronto. With their blessing I'm looking to explore this long-dormant curiosity.
I’m really good at
...uh...can I get back to you? There are some things, I guess, but in good Canadian form I'm blanking on them. Communicating is a real strength. Oh, and massage. I get that a lot. Randomly, I'm also kickass at origami (the Japanese art of paperfolding). Go figure.
The first things people usually notice about me
Hm. You know, I'm not sure. My impish grin? Glasses? I should really take an informal poll and find out...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: honestly I read far fewer books than I did when young. I still read a lot but it tends to be surfing on the web rather than novels. These days when reading I tend towards non-fiction, but my favourite books of all time would be the Dune series by Frank Herbert and the Lord of the Rings by Tolkien.

Movies & shows: skew strongly towards sci-fi and fantasy. All-time favs would be the Star Wars trilogy (the originals, thank you!) and anything by Jim Henson (Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal), and I've adorered Doctor Who since I was a kid (Tom Baker and Peter Davison, anyone?). Other favourite television shows include Babylon 5, Farscape, Supernatural, the BBC Sherlock, and The Wire.

Music: my tastes are pretty varied, but the main genres I keep finding myself coming back to are (1) pop-y, dancy-y "hit list" stuff (don't judge me; it's GREAT distraction while doing housework) (2) electronica and (3) "world-beat" fusion of eastern and western styles. I am always happy to be introduced to new music and genres!

The six things I could never do without
- good friends
- family, biological and chosen
...actually, with those two I can handle pretty much anything else. But if I have to pick a few other things I really, really care about:
- good food (mmm, good foooooood)
- good conversations
- travel
- laughter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
the rather amazing nature of our world. And these days, what I'm going to do with the rest of my life!
On a typical Friday night I am
having earnest conversations (or watching TV) with friends, or puttering happily away at home. Unless there's something neat going on out on the town!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
depends on who I'm admitting it to. :) I'm a little cagey about posting private things on a vastly open forum, but with people I come to trust I'm an open book.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 28–50
  • Near me
  • For short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
HAHA, this is long, sorry. But I don't want to waste your or my time. So with no further ado, you should message me if you're:
- an available guy between 30ish to 60ish (sorry ladies; I love you but that dance card is pretty full at the moment),
- interested in casual sex or short-term dating with sex (seeing as this is why I'm here and all),
- honest,
- friendly,
- have a good sense of humour,
- articulate (in terms of communicating preferences in and out of bed and in holding general conversations),
- emotionally mature (no drama if we don't click, please: it happens),
- open-minded in life and in bed (I don't require similar views on things, but a willingness to at least try to see the other side of something is a must),
- okay with the fact I have two girlfriends I adore - though there will NOT be any group sex with them, and asking will get you roundly ignored
- a stickler for safe sex (condoms/dams are a must for me with any casual sex - yes, even for oral sex!, moving beyond them only if/when we establish a mutually agreeable limited circle of partners with recent clear STD tests. I realize this may be a sticking point for some people, so to make sure you've (a) read this and (b) are actually okay with it, I encourage you to include the phrase "safe sex okay" in any message to me.)
- really nearby (I don't drive and have little time or patience for commuting, so am looking for someone either in downtown Toronto or within easy TTC access)

And please, for the love of all that's good: I don't care about your spelling or grammar but please use full words and sentences when communicating with me. Ppl txtng lk this will be ignored.

Finally, a few other potential compatibility notes I've stumbled across that don't readily slot anywhere else:

I worry lightly that the fact that I'm looking explicitly for casual sex will lead to an expectation/belief that I'm a crazy hot sex animal, and I'd rather clarify now than in the bedroom that I'm really not! I'd say I have a pretty average libido, and my lack of experience with guys means I'll probably be a touch nervous with a side of clumsiness. Hopefully you'll find that endearing and sexy, rather than a total turn-off! But I can also promise enthusiasm, curiosity, and I respond well to encouragement and feedback.

While I certainly have a kinky side (I'm a switch who tends more strongly to topping, if you must know), it's not something I'm really looking to explore further with someone new at this time. Which is to say if D/s, roleplaying or intense play is a must for you from the get-go, we're probably not a good match.

As I'm strategically between employment trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, budgeting is key - so dates much beyond the financial level of "coffee", "shawarma" or "walking somewhere interesting" are out of my league at the moment.

The fact that I'm slim may lead folks to believe I'm super-fit or really active or something. Sorry, but I really am more a food-lovin' couch potato than a fitness buff; I have genes to thank for my body shape, not hard work. (Having said that, I do really love a good walk/hike, and adore climbing though I do it far too rarely.)

If you've read this far, thanks for taking the time! If you still think we'd be a good match, I encourage you to throw the word/phrase "understood" somewhere in your message - along with the other one above - so I know you've gone to the trouble of reading this far and do still think we'd work. (You don't need to be fancy, just stick it at the end if you want.) I'll take your message much more seriously if you do.