Hello, my names Joshua. & welcome to my cheesy profile or short novel that should be titled "50 Shades of Fucked Up". First of all I'd like to start out by saying, "I'm not here trying to get laid". To tell ya the truth I'd have better luck going to a WalMart or a street corner for that. I'd like to think I'm here to meet a powerful woman, not some mousy little girl stuck in a fantasy world. & besides that I'm not the type of guy that wants to be a bother to anybody in the first place. I'm not going to disrespect you or send you pics of my junk. Nor will I bother you for pics of yourself. & I'm not going to troll you or talk smack if you don't respond either. Although I'm seeking someone that can be engaging, devoted & dedicated if there is any such thing. I'd love to be shown something different & healthy. Secondly if you don't have a sense of humor, are easily offended, have sexual hangups, immature, a religious fanatic, or the sensitive type. Then you may wish to run the other way. Because trust me you'll think I'm a monster in the long run, ha ha. Because you may feel I'm too inappropriate, fowl mouthed, or perverse for your taste. I the type that may challenge you. Or take you out of your comfort zone in order to find out what you're made of. Perhaps by putting a little bit of a light smack on your ass while grabbing it as I pull you close toward me. As a showing of affection of curse. I'm a passionate & sensual person, I love to touch & feel my lover & partner. Let's just say I enjoy being a private perv for the one I'm with. But I'd have to like you a lot for something like that in the first place. So if you're as hard core & perverted as I am then right on & rock on. So long as it's all in good fun & nobody gets hurt, right? Two can start off with the worst foot knowing every step after that is forward.
Honestly, let's just say I've been fucked over enough by some of the worlds biggest assholes. Yep that's right, some women can be assholes like most men can be bitches, ha ha. So I'm in no rush for getting screwed over again. In fact I find myself quite entertained, amused & somewhat fascinated in reading all your profiles. Besides that right now I'm happy just looking for friends to start out anyways, It's a solid basis thing. Or perhaps a partner in crime would be nice, where trust is key. I've always found a fonder connection with women in general anyways. But to find my soul mate would be a dream come true. Oh well, maybe but only in a dream. I'd like to surround myself with positive realistic people. & to be honest I may not be relationship material anyways. Due to the train wreaks & disasters I've already gone through with many others in the past. But who hasn't? Like many of you I've been rejected, lied to, deceived, jacked, cheated on, ratted out, pissed on & dissed on. So I may be damaged goods. Or perhaps the love for me was never that strong to begin with. Such a Greek tragedy, where has my youth gone? Ha ha.
O.K. then, the first two paragraphs didn't scare you off eh? Well I guess you must have some sort of gumption. Well then here's some more of my personal aspirations. Needless to say I think it would be nice to build a life & home with somebody in the long run. So reciprocation & consideration while giving 110% on both sides is the key. & so is meeting or exceeding what we bring to the table we sit at like devotion, dedication, & sacrifice. I don't mean monetarily either. I got mine & don't need yours. But I realize we won't excel as partner's if we don't do the principle thing for each other from the beginning. I try to be somewhat of a realist. & I'm not looking for nor do I wish for the pretense of perfection. I don't expect anything from anybody that I wouldn't first expect from myself. & I'm into the time I invest with somebody. I don't want it wasted on dumb drama or unhealthy, emotionally sapping situations. I've also never really been into looks as well. I look for personality more than anything, like charisma. Although attractions always a plus. I love the down to earth types. Or perhaps the plain Jane girl next door. I don't think I'm very materialistic. & I don't get too much into the high maintenance thing. Although I do like to get my lady's nails done for her once in a while, because I live vicariously through the happiness of the people I love.
I'm also kinda looking to love somebody through their imperfections or flaws. So long as it don't make me feel too indifferent, out of place, or disrupts my balance of harmony too much. Because I feel we don't grow as people any other way sometimes. Plus I kinda believe opposites attract. I also believe we've all made our mistakes & perhaps we all may have a few regrets throughout our pasts. I'm the type that believes that redemption is one of the finer things in life. I'm the type that prefers to confront & take care of issues rather than run away from them. I'm kinda challenging like that. I don't believe in deceiving or hiding things from my partner. & nothing gets resolved running away from issues. I'd love to find a powerful woman that can give it to me straight. Or isn't afraid to put me straight if I'm slippin. I'm humble enough to know I can admit when I'm wrong. & I'd like a lady that can be the dominant strong woman in charge of shit sometimes. So confidence is a plus. I'm the guy that can work through the tough times, if you can as well. Because I don't get mixed up in fantasy, I understand life's not perfect all the time & shit happens. But I also know it goes the other way as well. Like good memories & fun times.
I'd like to think I'm a mystery. So if I told ya everything I'd be in a disposition of giving you nothing new to learn about me. Hmmm, or would I? Well let's just say I can be dark, not that I prefer to be. But at the same time I like to balance things out by doing a good deed or committing a kind act at least once a day. I'm street smart & I'm also confident, affectionate, sensual, generous & realistic. I don't like to be advantageous or selfish. & I allow the free will of others to take its course, even when I know better that the situations against me. I feel things happen for a reason & we all have our own course to travel. Like a bunch of puzzle pieces with their part in making a complete picture. I prefer to never to be forceful. As I like to treat other people the way I'd like to be treated.
My father was a Dutch, Scott & my mother was an Irish, Swede. They divorced when I was twelve. So I was a latch key kid. I did my own laundry & cooking while my mother worked full time & went to school. My family past is rather treacherous. I'm originally from Salt Lake City, Utah. I've always been more of a Buddhist in beliefs while being brought up with Astrology by my mother who raised me. My Father had me baptized as a Mormon & made me go to church when I was a child. But I never adhered to that religion. Only to joke about it. In fact here's a good one for ya. "How do ya keep a Mormon from drinkin all your beer when ya take em fishin? Take two Mormons", ha ha ha. Ok, bad joke but you can't say I didn't try to make ya laugh. I believe having a sense of humor in comedy can cure all perils.
I've lived on the Southern Oregon Coast since 2007. It's a beautiful place with a couple beaches. But it's rural & it can be kinda lonely out here on the misty beaches. I've never been married nor do I have any children. By choice of course. I guess I'd never found the right one yet. I have strawberry blonde hair with dread locks. I have a few tattoos. I dress nice & I like to smell nice as well. & I drive a pearl white Cadillac. & I absolutely love to snowboard, it's my solace. I'm honest to a fault. I don't mind admitting when I'm wrong, because my mother raised me to accept responsibility for my actions. I prefer to be polite & I do have manners believe it or not. I believe in chivalry & don't mind opening the door for my lady, nor do I mind holding the door open for strangers. I've studied martial arts most my life. & I've competed in full contact martial arts tournaments in the past. Ya, I've won a couple trophies for it. But I've learned more getting my ass kicked by some of the worlds toughest black belts. There's nothing quite like the feeling of stepping into the ring against somebody that's trained to rip your head off, ha ha. Lets just say I've been through a lot & have also seen my fare share of dark times throughout my time here. & I've also learned through it all the hard way. I'm thankful for it because I believe it's built me to be the man I am today.
Well lets see what else? I'm tall, so if you're tall great. Although I must admit I've always had a freakish attraction to shorties because they can be fun too. & I have a large tattoo piece I'd just recently had finished of an oriental dragon incorporated into my scars I'd received after being hit by a drunken driver. So if you have tatt's, I love ya already. I think Tattoo's are sexy & a turn on. I can also appreciate curves on a woman as well. I also think a pale skin complexion & freckles are sexy as well. I like personality traits such as regard & consideration of their partners feelings. & I also believe devotion, dedication, & sensuality are also nice as well. I like to keep it somewhat classy with a little freak bend to my kink. Because you never know whats around the next corner in life. Nor what you might learn about yourself the next day.
I'm very philosophical & grounded spiritually. I love history & I'd like to think I'm also fairly intuitive & intelligent. I can also tend be theatrical & sarcastic as hell. I'd like to think I can be somewhat funny. I've always tended to be an outlaw, or the lone lion with his own pride, rather than wanting to be a part of group in society. I'm more home & family oriented type.
I tend to be a somewhat reserved type of guy, more of an observer. & rarely make the first move until I'm comfortable with someone or the situation. Although I've always been flattered when a woman is dominant & has the guts to make the first move on me. I find it very admirable in these times of fem power & equal lib. & besides that I tend to have no desires unless I'm desired by someone more. I also have an open mind, & I try to be very understanding. I try not to judge. Nor am I homophobic or racist. Because I believe gays have more balls than most the dude's I've known. & I also believe black skin is just as beautiful as pale white skin, I love them both. So if you're judgmental we may not get along very well. I also try to be selfless as well. Because I was raised to be crew minded & I believe that being there for the team is more important to me than being a selfish individual. So if you're a selfish individual we may not get along too well either. I believe in putting you ahead of me. So if you could have the same regard & consideration in return then maybe something with strength can be built between us. & perhaps something strong for our future as well.
I must also say I don't prefer associating with bad drunks, junkies or meth addicts. If that's your thing that's cool I'm not one to judge. It's just simply not my thing. That shit's effected my relationships more than anything else in my life. & I've been cheated on by most I've been with. I've also been deceived by those I've loved. So I don't lie, cheat, or steal. & to be honest I once cheated on someone I loved dearly & lied to her about it. I didn't appreciate myself for it. So therefore I try & work to never do it again.
Although if you choose to treat me like a fool or disrespect me you'll be the fool in the end, you can trust that. Because I know my value. & I'm not a pushover, I can be a dick within means when provoked. But trust me I don't prefer to be that way. Violence is not healthy for anyone or a relationship. My mother also raised me to never hit the ladies. I never have & I never will. Nor do I throw, punch, or break shit when I get angry. But I also have more respect for myself than that to be treated like crap or deceived by someone else. I'll just disconnect after I no longer have a reason to care. & they'll be gone eventually after their game is up. So I'd like to avoid the whole liability preemptively if ya know what I'm saying. I'm like a small flame in the palm of your hand. Either it will warm your heart or burn everything down around you emotionally. Yes I'm that good, not to be cocky or anything. So depending on what type of person you are, is going to be what type of person you get out of me. So please understand I can be somewhat complex, tactful, & analytic of certain situations. & its usually because I'm a good judge of them. There is a method behind the madness, ha ha.
Although, I wouldn't mind finding my queen. Or a good woman I can jam some percussion's with. Perhaps we could create some other type of music together. I would love to live in harmony with another. & I also choose to smoke herb medicinally. So if you smoke herb as well great. I'd rather choose the herb over becoming addicted to pain pills for my condition. Ya see I've had lower spine infusion surgery done on me in the past. Then five months after that I was struck into by a drunken teenage driver that ran a stop sign, as I was a passenger in a friends car. I know, what luck eh? The Docs were amazed I made it through after having the right side of my body busted up & dying on em a couple times. Perhaps tenacity's also one of the strongest ability's my soul possesses. I've had to relearn how to do everything over again. From how to spell & write again, to using my right arm to eat, tie my shoe or button up my shirt. I also couldn't get out of bed for about six months without assistance. The situation helped me realize that sometimes in life we need others who love & care for us. I also went a couple years with my front teeth broken out from the airbag. By choice of course, as my lesson in humility. It's interesting how people treat & look at you when your in a disposition. It's been quite a study in sociology. I've since then had my teeth crowned & they look great now. & Humility is what I gained from such an ordeal.
But amazingly enough I've recovered well & still preform my Martial Arts Kata routines & meditation. It's been what's kept me strong physically & mentally. & I feel very fortunate to be here. I love every breath I take, even when some of the days may not be so good. It's a blessing & simple miracle that any of us are here to experience life with one another within this short amount of time we're allowed. Life is what happens when your making plans for other things. So beyond all that I'm just an average guy seeking the same stimulation's in life we all are. Such as love, harmony & happiness. I think it would be nice to share that with somebody.