Life and the lessons I have learned through love, disappointment, death, happiness, sadness and the occasional trip overseas have given me some added perspective on life and its meaning (Hint: it doesn't always add up to 42)
Here are some of my take-aways
• Kissing rocks. (Not actually kissing physical rocks, as in stones & pebbles) People don't kiss enough. It is a sensual, personal, profound sharing. There are so many positives to kissing that I can't imagine why it is not more highly rated on the scale of whatever. From the nervous first kiss, to the giggling kiss, to the passionate kiss and everything in between - it is a wonderful feeling to kiss your partner. It's the perfect gateway drug to sex :)
• Sharing is important. It is hard going through life alone. To be able to find a partner to share yourself with, and to be there for your partner when they need you is a super comforting thing. It really makes life and all its plethora of unexpected curves much more satisfying or bearable, depending on the situation.
• Self centered people are soul drainers. Let's face it, everyone is supposed to be a little bit self centered, in that you need to take care of yourself. But there are also a large contingent of people who seem to feel entitled to receive without giving back. In a relationship scenario, this is a nightmare, and something I have fallen for in the past, without ever realizing what was happening. I'd like to hope that life has taught me how to avoid that type of person, but still be open to giving in a meaningful way.
• Risk. There is a certain inherent risk by opening up to another person. By allowing yourself to become emotionally attached. Risk of rejection, over-attachment, failure, you name — it there is always a downside. The trick is to do a cost/benefit analysis which sounds oh-so-romantic, yes?
• Love doesn't always last ... at least not for both parties. That was at times devastating but not incapacitating. It taught me to be self-reliant and to be a better communicator. I try not to take anything for granted, as you tend to get back what you put in. Having been on both sides of this equation, I like to think I have a better grasp of it now.
• People die. This one sucks and there is no getting around it. But we are all heading towards the same ultimate outcome - though there are several sometimes conflicting ideas as to what the destination might be. This has taught me to make time for those I love and to always try to be positive, because you never know when the last time you are going to see someone is.
• Sex should be fun. Take time to keep sex interesting and meaningful. It is the physical act of expressing your love for your partner. But it is also a time of continual exploration. It is good to keep exploring each other and finding new ways to turn your partner on.
Here is a nutshell summary of what I offer and in turn what I am looking for.
Holding Hands. I really like holding hands while walking with my partner. It may seem a bit juvenile, but there is nothing like feeling your partners pulse walking hand in hand, looking at things and wondering what they are. It's also a positive symbolic reinforcement of the partnership.
Comfort. (to be able to talk, or not talk all day) To be able to be yourself and allow your partner to be themselves. I can't over-stress this. Silly, nerdy, serious, playful depending on the situation or the mood.
Spontaneity. The ability to decide at the last minute to go on a trip to the coast, or take a neighborhood walk. To keep up the excitement of our romantic lives by special gestures, small or large - from flowers to the occasional kidnapping.
Friendship. Kind of hard to over-stress this one. A life partnership needs to have a solid foundation of friendship built on all of the basic tenets of respect, loyalty, admiration and love.
A Long-Term Plan. I don't want to do this more than one more time. I'm looking for someone to grow old and wrinkly with. To sit on a porch with in 30 years and complain about whippersnappers ruining the neighborhood with their loud music. (Or more likely, joining in as you are only as old as you feel).
Travel. I really like to travel. It is fun to see new places and experience different perspectives. I have traveled a bit in Asia, from China to Philippines and lived in Taipei for a year. One of my goals is to visit Europe, South America and Australia and see the sights, make new friends and be a global citizen.
Creativity. I am a creative person, and I like to be inspired by my partner. In turn I like to inspire my partner to do and see and be whatever their heart desires. It is fun to grow together.
Fun. A good sense of humor, the ability to poke fun at oneself as well as have fun with others, from family members to friends is key. I try not to take myself too terribly seriously.
Honestly. Trust is key to a lasting relationship. I try to be an open book, and appreciate candor. We all try our best and sometimes we make mistakes, but to be open and fair is important to a lasting partnership.
Distance. I am not concerned with distance. For the right person, I can make anything work. I work remotely and run my own business, so I can pretty much be wherever my heart takes me. Have computer, will travel.