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JPaulG

32 M Berkeley, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:18pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), French (Okay), Portuguese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
All profiles are narcissistic and self-serving. Most of the important stuff in profiles is found on the "Explain my Answers" part of the match questions, where people attempt to inject nuance to the often inane match questions.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Health care consulting.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Sensing emotions. Empathy.

My world is language -- spoken language, translation, programming languages, teaching, you name it. Most of what is good in my life comes from language.

Words, morphemes, and phrases, to me are like little functional parts that combine into machines for our thoughts.

(But then again, I believe that one of the great constants of human nature is that when people ascribe characteristics to themselves, they almost always actually display the exact opposite of those characteristics. People that claim to be nice are assholes. People that claim to be classy are usually trashy. People that claim to be smart are usually pretty dim, etc. So what the fuck would I know?)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"I can pull on a sparkly gown and go to the steakhouse or I can strap us both to a boxcar and ride the rails.

I work hard, I PLAY HARDER. I'll rest when I'm dead and I'm NEVER GONNA DIE.

Got your passport? Let's go parasailglidebiking.

I can wear the same outfit for five days or I can crouch, naked, in the shower, and get real small.

I sleep hard. I DREAM HARDER. I'm on a rollercoaster with my dogs and Beyonce. I will get up WHEN IT'S TIME.

Got your library card? Let's go pay off some of my fines, because I don't borrow books. I lease. I like there to be a public record of my stealing something."

--Maria Bamford (She is one of my favorite comedians. I have a picture of me with her but I look like shite in it so I took it down)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
"I can pull on a sparkly gown and go to the steakhouse or I can strap us both to a boxcar and ride the rails.

I work hard, I PLAY HARDER. I'll rest when I'm dead and I'm NEVER GONNA DIE.

Got your passport? Let's go parasailglidebiking.

I can wear the same outfit for five days or I can crouch, naked, in the shower, and get real small.

I sleep hard. I DREAM HARDER. I'm on a rollercoaster with my dogs and Beyonce. I will get up WHEN IT'S TIME.

Got your library card? Let's go pay off some of my fines, because I don't borrow books; I lease. I like there to be a public record of my stealing something."

--Maria Bamford on internet dating profiles. (She is one of my favorite comedians. I have a picture of me with her but I look like shite in it so I took it down)

I burn through food like a blast furnace, so I prefer heavy, filling foods: Italian, Mexican, Indian. I love cooking.

I do have a soft spot for country music and have converted quite a few people to this poignant and ridiculous genre. I swoon for strong female vocalists -- Dar Willians, Bjork, Reba McEntire, Loretta Lynn, Sara Bareilles, Rihanna, Suzanne Vega, Dolly Parton, etc...

Why not talk about the rest of this stuff in person or something? I actually think the huge lists of interests and compatibility questions are kind of silly. What happened to mystery?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Some stuff that's important to me:

Good family relationships.
Domestic life (cooking, maintaining a nice space, healthy routine)
A fully stocked kitchen. Cooking is artwork you can eat.
Dancing, music.

I really enjoy dancing. Salsa, swing, others.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have been in love. Nothing else really compares. When you're both happy and excited just to fall asleep in each other's arms. To wake up with someone you care about. To cook meals together. Life is just so much better when it's shared with someone you love, and I won't give up until I have found that love that is worth hanging on to.

I don't really trust people who lack basic life skills.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to run a half-marathon (or fuck it, a full one) as a team.

I'm looking for someone clever, witty, and adventurous. These are seriously important qualities. You should be able to keep up, literally and figuratively.

You are kind, emotionally aware, and actually interested in a relationship rather than flitting around the internet dating forever. You are capable of giving and receiving love.

Please don't message me if -- you are rude to service employees, fundamentally unhappy with your life, get wasted like every day, look down on others that are different from you, or are otherwise a jerk in some major way. But good luck with that!