I've been called a nice guy and worse. I wear purple Calvin Klein underwear in homage to Back to the Future (not really). Fan of dive bars and non-sequiturs, and slightly more sincere than this profile will let on.

Making millions as a hedge fund manager while simultaneously saving orphaned puppies and training for my next iron man triatholon. (This is a joke. Sorry if you got really excited because you thought you found yourself a sugar daddy.)

Playing six degrees of separation (refer to my typical Friday night).

My shaggy, hockey player hair. Update - recently got it cut so it's not so shaggy and hockey player-like. See profile pic for reference.

I hate favorites, but I'll do my best.

Books - The Magus, Animal Farm, The Great Gatsby, Outliers

Most movies with Al Pacino. Some others that come to mind - In Bruges, Love Actually, Jaws

Shows - Mad Men, Louie, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Breaking Bad, The Office (British)

Nearly all kinds of music.

And now for a test to see if you're actually reading my profile. Who was the 16th President of the United States? Put the answer in your message to me and you'll get points for reading my profile and for having basic knowledge of US history (or, for at least having the ability to use Google).

Food - pretty much anything that I know I shouldn't be eating.

1. People making asses of themselves on the internet. It's the only thing that keeps me going at my job.

2. Hot showers. I could stand in there for hours.

3. Sunny days

4. Invigorating conversation

5. Days in which I have time to lay in bed and veg long after I've woken.

6. Got an iphone for Christmas and it has creeped itself into the can't live without list. I mean obviously I could. I did for 36 years and 7 months, but I don't want to.

Random things like thinking how awesome it would be to be one of the two New Yorkers with Jerry Orbach's eyes. I think they've taken those ads down now so you likely have no clue what I'm talking about. But I still wonder who has his eyes.

And right now I'm wondering what would happen if I expanded my profile to 1,000 words to make my profile 100% complete like OKCupid suggests. Would confetti fall from my ceiling and OKCupid clowns show up to my door singing the Your Profile is 100% Complete song?

On a recent Friday night (actually it was a Wednesday, but I'm saying it was a Friday so I can cram this story into this question) I found myself playing 6 degrees of Zach Galifianakis with a buddy. We started with Galifianakis to Harrison Ford (hint: we used Frank Oz as Yoda as one of the connections). Then we decided to give ourselves a handicap by adding the requisite that we use The Big Lebowski as a connection to get from Galifianakis to Ford. It drove us nuts all night (Well actually it only drove me nuts. My buddy could give a shit). It wasn't until later in the night, after my buddy went home, that I started talking with another friend who gave me the missing link. Galifianakis was in Up in the Air. It's probably pretty sad that coming up with the answer made me more satisfied than much of the sex I've had in my life. If you want the full answer and can't come up with it message me. And if you message me with the answer I might get a hard on. Anyway, that's the kind of wackiness I get into on a Wednesday, er uh... Friday night.

The song You are My Sunshine makes me cry.

You're interesting for some reason other than just your looks. You recognize that I used you're and your correctly in that sentence but you're not all that impressed by it. You think it's actually a positive that I was rejected by E-harmony. Oh and you're actually interested in meeting someone in person. You can tell very little about what kind of connection you might have with someone through internet communication.