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34 Salem, MA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 12:18pm
6' 1" (1.85m)
Body Type
Might want kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

I don’t really live with my mom, that would be absurd i'm 33. However if you’ve continued reading chances are you’re not a shallow person (or maybe you just want to see what kind of train wreck follows an opening statement like that). Just trying to weed some people out ya know.

Recently a woman told me I was charming and simply irresistible (then she started singing that Robert Palmer song). Sounds great right? Problem is she was shitfaced and no younger than 70 and she tried to take me home with her. To top it off it all took place in front of my family, now they won’t stop giving me a hard time about the Sabre Tooth Tiger who tried to steal my innocence. Moral of the story is old ladies love me, things like this happen all the time. So now that you’ve heard a condensed version of my elder love experience, a little about me…..Too hot to handle too cold to hold…well that should about do it
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I sell insurance to make a living, and I work part time with children on the autism spectrum to make me feel like I’m doing something worthwhile for the world. When I’m not at work I’m trying to make the most of my free time by doin thangs...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Charming old ladies obviously, making breakfast, making inappropriate and poorly timed jokes, recognizing and appreciating the good things in life, not letting life’s insignificant details and problems get to me, crossword puzzles, annoying my sisters (this never gets old), taking naps, and a whole ton of other awesome stuff that I can’t think of right now
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This question is stupid because I don't know how to answer it
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Based on the profiles I’ve read on this site, apparently I’m the only person in the state of Massachusetts who watches TV. I never realized television was so unhip until just now. So to all of you no TV owning cool people on your high horse, here is a list of kick ass shows that would be really hard to watch from a horse with no TV…Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, Mad Men, Deadwood, Eastbound and Down, Archer, South Park, Always Sunny, Lost (except for the end, which made me feel like I wasted an incredible amount of time on my couch), and my personal favorite The Wire.

When I read I typically lean towards nonfiction (I like my books to teach me something), historical fiction, and the occasional mystery. I recently just finished The Given Day by Dennis Lehane and started in on Dispatches by Michael Herr.

My ITunes is full of a rather eclectic mix of different artists and genres. I’d name some but I only like making lists of TV shows. Seriously though I think I have pretty good taste in music, and I’m always looking for people who can turn me on to something new. Disclaimer** It doesn’t matter what kind of music you’re into, that’s not part of my criteria for judging potential dates (although I may tease you a little if you listen to total garbage). But know this; I will never be persuaded to go to a country music concert of any kind.

Movies are cool too.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I’ll go ahead and assume that family, friends, food, water, etc. are just a given and I’ll start from there
- IPod
- Peanut Butter
- Naps
- Adventures
- Lots of pillows on my bed
- Beer, Bourbon, and Irish Whiskey (swear to god I’m not a complete lush)
- Super Beef sauce cheese pickles (for all you North Shore folks)

So what if that’s seven, Burger Queen don’t care!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
$240 worth of pudding, how someone was able to convince the world that tofu is good, how some people can be so stupid, if i were president, when will then be now, loved ones here and gone...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinkin Manischewitz goin out to terrorize goyim....Get it? Anyone? No? Nevermind...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but it seems to me that when the giant that holds up the earth dies, we are screeewwwed.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I find that the best relationships/friendships tend to be with people who you can be openly weird with. Who wants to get weird?