Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
please note: I'm a convicted felon... served 3 years of a 5-year
sentence, currently on parole... #TimeOffForGoodBehavior
3 kids from 2 women... #BabyMommaDrama
unemployed and freeloading wherever I can...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I sleep till noon, watch judge judy while eating a bowl of cereal
-- half fruity pebbles, half frosted cheerios -- then it's video
games on the 80" tv until mom is done making dinner. after eating,
I watch jeopardy because I like to get a little culture... then
it's back to the xbox, maybe some late night HBO -- so mad they
killed King Joffrey on GoT... Sleep and repeat.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
finding Waldo, procrastinating, and calculating 18% tip on dinner
bills but only leaving 5%
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books are for losers
Movies: Anything with lots of explosions and special effects
Music: top-40, R&B
Food: microwaveable pizza bagels
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. my welfare check
2. the $200 Jordans I bought with my welfare check
3. Johnnie Walker -- green or blue label only
4. Skinny ties -- I like to dress up for Judge Judy
5. pantene pro v -- for hair so healthy, it shines
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how awful the culture of dating has become:
And the 22-year-old woman who I conducted an interview/physical
exam on in June. She displayed neurological symptoms consistent
with a brain tumor, but the CT machine was broken so we couldn't
confirm. Twice she asked me if she'll be home by the weekend
because she wanted to watch her 5-year-old son graduate from
kindergarten... Avoiding the question felt deceitful.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a collection of Disney flicks on my laptop....
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
1. You're hot
2. You were a backup dancer in the Anaconda music video
3. You're looking for a hookup
4. You realize that 90% of this profile is sarcasm/parody/not true
or an obvious exaggeration
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.