Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 Hollywood, FL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–29
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 3:52pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Dropped out of space camp
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
please note: I'm a convicted felon... served 3 years of a 5-year sentence, currently on parole... #TimeOffForGoodBehavior

3 kids from 2 women... #BabyMommaDrama

unemployed and freeloading wherever I can... #NoMoneyNoProblems

What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I sleep till noon, watch judge judy while eating a bowl of cereal -- half fruity pebbles, half frosted cheerios -- then it's video games on the 80" tv until mom is done making dinner. after eating, I watch jeopardy because I like to get a little culture... then it's back to the xbox, maybe some late night HBO -- so mad they killed King Joffrey on GoT... Sleep and repeat.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
finding Waldo, procrastinating, and calculating 18% tip on dinner bills but only leaving 5%
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My gorgeous hair
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books are for losers

Movies: Anything with lots of explosions and special effects

Music: top-40, R&B

Food: microwaveable pizza bagels
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. my welfare check
2. the $200 Jordans I bought with my welfare check
3. Johnnie Walker -- green or blue label only
4. Skinny ties -- I like to dress up for Judge Judy
5. pantene pro v -- for hair so healthy, it shines
6. OkCupid
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how awful the culture of dating has become:

And the 22-year-old woman who I conducted an interview/physical exam on in June. She displayed neurological symptoms consistent with a brain tumor, but the CT machine was broken so we couldn't confirm. Twice she asked me if she'll be home by the weekend because she wanted to watch her 5-year-old son graduate from kindergarten... Avoiding the question felt deceitful.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Winning at life
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a collection of Disney flicks on my laptop....
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
1. You're hot

2. You were a backup dancer in the Anaconda music video

3. You're looking for a hookup

4. You realize that 90% of this profile is sarcasm/parody/not true or an obvious exaggeration