"A chocolate truffle should be firm, yet yielding...like a man."

To summarize my self: I am friendly, kind and funny, helpful and smart, and like a boyscout I am always prepared (seriously, my purse is full of the useful paraphenalia of life). I am extremely opinionated but not judgmental. I'm actually rather quiet but I laugh loudly, and I'm a better writer than I am a talker.

People who have known me have described me as a "font of information" (whether they like it or not). A friend once said he used to think I was the most well-adjusted person he knew until he figured out that I just have poor reflexes (it's true - I don't always react immediately to things and my doctor once hit my knee with that mallet-thingy and my leg jumped not at all and she pronounced me dead).

A pal of mine joked that I don't "process well in real time", which is true too - I always think of the clever thing to say 12 hours after the fact, with the exception of the above comment about chocolate truffles; that actually came out my mouth quite spontaneously while criticizing too-soft Lindt truffles, much to my surprise and the delight of the man I said it to.

I try to find the fun and humour in the everyday ("what Bellini taught us that day by being crushed by a large rock was to find beauty in the banal, for it is everywhere"), and am generally very playful and silly ("if you don't pay attention to every little detail, you miss most of the jokes").

I can't do math in my head, but I pay my bills on time. I live alone with a big, plush, 13-year old cat who shares my fondness for peace and quiet and laying about. My cat's former vet described him as a "Domestic Shorthair" - SHORThair MY ASS! I am usually covered in a fine layer of cat fluff.

I'm non-materialistic, but I appreciate practical comforts and quality, and the luxuries of 21st-century post-industrial civilization.

I'm a very happy non-theist. I believe it's possible to respect others without necessarily respecting their beliefs. However, if I believed in Hell I would hope there'd be a special place in it for the willfully ignorant and those who think evolution is "just a theory".

I've taken public transit almost everyday of my life, which is probably why I often feel that hell is truly other people. That makes me sound a bit curmudgeonly, which I'm not (as clearly evidenced by the fact that I use adorable words like "curmudgeonly").

I did my undergraduate degree in Linguistics and Philosophy, which I enjoyed immensely. I have mad essay-writing skills, but I don't get to employ those much these days.

Bonus random fact about me: I absolutely love the smell of marshmallows.

Wrestling with my urges to plan and sort and trying instead to take my days each in their turn.

Trying to learn about work/life balance from my cat.

Being inspired by my niece and nephew to be a better person and giving/getting unconditional love. And chasing my nephew around trying to trim his hair (this is a marathon, cross-country sport).

Seeking peace and quiet and rummaging around in second-hand stores for treasures.

Stroking my cat's belly.

Being anemic, which is totally pissing me off and making me paler than usual...I'm practically translucent. And sleepy.

Mostly I'm squandering my life frivilously watching television, reading, and using up more than my fair share of natural resources.

Finding answers to questions.

Organizing things.

Cursing and making it sound classy.

Cooking and baking things that people like.

Selecting winning stuffed animals and other gifts for small and medium-sized children.

Killing houseplants (I drown them with kindness).

Surprising people with the stuff I know and talents I normally don't reveal.

Whipping up a tasty dinner from whatever's lying around in the kitchen (mine or someone else's).

Solving the JUMBLE (though I find the whole pun "solution" to the cartoon riddle part kind of groan-inducing; I just like descrambling the words).

My lips (my smile), the way I smell (I've been told I smell nice), and my generally friendly demeanor.

Favourite reading of late: David Sedaris; John Scalzi; Stephen Fry. Favourites of all-time: White Teeth; Steel Beach; The Persistence of Vision; The Golden Globe; Underfoot In Show Business; Skin Tight; Lucky You; The Female Man; Walk to the End of the World; Making History; Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy; The Great Mortality; short stories by Dorothy Parker, Oscar Wilde, Fredric Brown, and John Varley; speculative fiction in general; and e.e. cummings. I've always been very drawn to post-apocalyptic and dystopic fiction, and Holocaust history (non-fiction).

Favourite movies of all time: Love and Death; Radio Days; A Christmas Story; Groundhog Day; Fight Club; The Dark Crystal; The More the Merrier (the one with Joel McCrea and Jean Arthur - not the gay porn flick); The Legend of 1900; The Thief of Baghdad; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; Election; Amelie; Hot Fuzz; Orlando; Hedwig and the Angry Inch; Parting Glances; Mystery Science Theatre 3000; The Wedding Singer; Elf; Oliver!; The Red Violin (the musical score is hauntingly beautiful); and any James Bond movie with Sean Connery (the plot is unimportant; I'm just staring at Connery, listening to his voice and waiting for him to take off his clothes).

Favourite Music: Classical (19th and early 20th century romantical stuff mostly: Sibelius; Rachmaninov; Grieg; Satie; Puccini; Gorecki; Prokofiev; Brahms; Rozsa; etc.); big band; Anita O'Day; Dinah Washington; Dean Martin; Bobby Darin; Freddie Mercury; David Bowie; Johnny Cash; The Strokes; Coldplay; Dido; Sia; The Cliks; Adele; Jill Scott; John Legend; Marvin Gaye; Amy Winehouse; Radiohead. All sorts of stuff, really.

Favourite TV: Glee; Firefly; Documentaries; House; Home Movies; Life on Mars (UK); Little Britain; Lost; Ugly Betty; My Name is Earl; The Office; 30 Rock; The Simpsons; Family Guy; Rome; Law & Order SVU; The Daily show with Jon Stewart; The Colbert Report; Oz; The Riches; Saving Grace; How I Met Your Mother; SNL; SCTV; Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist; Six Feet Under; Weeds; Dexter; Lie to Me; Better Off Ted; The Muppet Show; Sesame Street; Iron Chef America (actually, that's my cat's favourite).

Favourite food: Gala apples, hard-boiled eggs; eggplant; Indian and Ethiopian cuisine; salty rosemary focaccia; caramelized onions; roasted chicken; sweet red-bean mochis; turkey-lettuce-tomato-avocado sandwiches; raw jicama; new york style cheesecake with a touch of cinnamon and a thick graham crust.

I'm sure I could do without a lot of things I've grown accustomed to. Here's more than six things I would hate to give up:
- My 13-year-old cat (I'm actually allergic to cats, but would never give him up)
- Cold water for drinking and hot water for showering
- Air conditioning during the summer
- Personal hygiene products
- Soft bedsheets
- A comfortable bra
- My Therapeutica pillow
- Soft, comfortable leather shoes

How freakin' adorable Daugga is.

Ethics.

Why can't I move to Sesame Street and live among the Muppets? I mean, I wouldn't want to live in the same building as Bert and Ernie 'cause Ernie plays the trumpet late at night, but I think I could be seriously happy with furry blue monsters for neighbours.

Things to buy or make for my niece and nephew.

Phrases from e.e. cummings poems, like "kisses are a better fate than wisdom".

Sexy men and their hairy arms.

Fighting crime; curling up with the pussycat and watching tv/movies; napping; puttering around the internet; or perhaps doing laundry if I'm feeling especially industrious.

Not all parts of me are factory originals, but nothing's artificial or in-organic. I'm pretty open about that.

I'm perhaps a little too-happy about finally finding the missing tiny plastic tear gas bomb that fell from the tiny plastic hand of my Hank Scorpio figurine a few weeks ago. He is my dream-boss, and he is once again complete and poised to take over the world.

You're looking for online or real-world friendship with a woman who's down-to-earth, low-maintenance, genuine, fun, and wears sensible shoes.

You are animated and express yourself well, are honest and forthright, and you demonstrate your feelings and beliefs through your behaviour.